#15. all for science folks . . . . .

I’ve wondered about perhaps building a very large spanking machine.
a man – size one
that works on m e n . . .
1 at a time of course
It could get a little unwieldly otherwise.
slipping into dreamy slash impish muse
well, I have all these big fake hands . . .
you know . . . for drawing . . .
and they are mighty good slappers.
tricky part might be getting the subject in there
may need some exxxtra research
and space age peek a boo lingerie
turn around please I just need to take a quick measurement
oh you’ll find out
.
In the handbook there could be a section
How to heft and wrestle a reluctant gentleman . . . .
into the proper position . . . .
oh stop yodeling – this is gonna hurt you way more than it hurts me!!
where’s your sense of adventure??
uh oh – think I just pulled a muscle laughing
See? are you happy now?

wondering about the settings . .
maybe incremented timer dial
with settings for: Be a good sport, make me a sandwich, spunkify, the romance me you Fool setting would be a fav . . . .
and the ever popular HEY!! WAKE UP!
This may benefit all of womankind!!
Well ~ I’ll just say no more . . .
except ~
sorry. this is like eating potaote chips.
boy there could be some pretty good stories out there . . . Whew!
atomic wedgies, inside out underwear, (not to be confused with the IUEP- International Underwear Exchange Program), hand print art, the dreaded rear admiral
there will have to be a disclaimer in fine print
cuz there is always the possiblity that this thing could backfire
into an old fashioned low tech free for all -
spankee becomes spanker power take over . . .
hoot hoot mon!
luckily I have buns of steel
the buns of steel video
I’m looking at the box now.
hhmmmmm . . . .
oh I haven’t actually built it yet, still in the hmmm stage!!
still cooking in that good idear invention wing of the universe.
so no patent pending.
where was I?
OH!
i digress now.
It could also be applied to work on c h i l d r e n . . .
with some straps and seat adjustments
Specializing in FF’s (freckled fuckers)
set timer to respectful and obediant!
And it could work on cats. maybe.
MeOw. ME ow. might get a scratch or two.
I hope. I hope. I cross my fingers and hopity hope.
Quiet studio time is extra annoyingly hard for a bored cranky raring to play outdoor champion mouser cat.
set timer to nap or shut up..
I don’t know if it would work on dogs
but that’s okay.
dogs are the only ones that ever seem to actually listen anyway. . . .
Hey STOP EATING THAT TURD!!
See?!?
uh OH!
gotta go!
something in another dimension needs my actual real undidvided attention.

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#15. all for science folks . . . . . by 


oh crap . . . did I say this out loud or just THINK it??
yeah . . I’m supposed to be working too!!
I’m also thinking about taking a nap. . . . . :)
this is poem #115, 0000.
are you actually reading these or just pretending?
be honest.
okay. poem #15.

enjoy making direct work from natural materials in my prairie and wildlife sanctuary.
i am a very restless person and I work in many different ways with a variety of media.

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few.
Anne Marrow Lindbergh

My images and written works do NOT belong to the public domain. All images and written works in this gallery are owned by me and © copyrighted, All Rights Reserved.

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Comments

  • Cynthia Lund Torroll
    Cynthia Lund T...over 2 years ago

    O.
    My.
    Gosh.
    I am laughing so hard.

    Line ’em up! ha ha ha ha ha.

    My favorite line – takes this proverbial slap/slab cake:
    “the dreaded rear admiral”

    Dying.
    YOU ARE TOO MUCH and thank god you are!

    xx

  • will you be my assistant? a glittery spangled outfit with a crown and septer? you would look simply marvelous!!! and we could do quite a service to mankind. :))
    thanks Hon for laughing with me in my silly write. That “dreaded rear admiral” bit is from an episdoe of the Simpsons. by the writer’s admission, it actually means nothing except what your imagination makes of it. :))) which i love.

    – evon ski

  • Cynthia Lund Torroll
    Cynthia Lund T...over 2 years ago

    Darlin’, we’d have to charge admission.

    ha ha ha ha!

  • okay. beter yet. let the games begin. yehaaa!!! xxx

    – evon ski

  • timbuckley
    timbuckleyover 2 years ago

    dont know is this poetry in motion?

  • a kinetic word sculpture of perpetual motion. :)))
    thanks for reflecting that idea back to me T.

    – evon ski

  • hey shut your eyes and back up for a minute. be not afraid. :)

    – evon ski

  • sandra .
    sandra .over 2 years ago

    How goes the ‘spank o meter’ Y ?
    Which handbook are you researching , ahem, from?
    The ‘spanky’ as it was patented, has been banned in several countries. Cheaper versions are currently available, but as most things, are not as reliable…the slapper attachment may leave red marks and its overall effectiveness is now subject to a internal enquiry …just sayin’’

    Delete this coffee deprived ramble Y, I refer to my soft covered Readers Digest for the non information supplied… :))
    A Funny write, that I enjoy from you
    Smooches
    Sandra x

  • oh Lordy I LOVE your comment and I will NOT delete even upon threat of aforementioned spanking machine.
    Apparently I needed to use reinforced steel . . . the cardboard tubes have all but collapsed. spank spank spandidy spank. that’s morse code for send help.
    love ya darling!!! Thanks for playing!!!

    – evon ski

  • I just read this comment. Sandra you so soo flipping creative funny clever- I love it when we play together!!! thanks yur a gas to monkee around with. you knew that was a coming!!! hhe heeee.

    – evon ski

  • will you do the voice-over for the commercial? pro`boner of course. aren’t we all? sorry S just looking thru my 30 day poem challenge here and especially loved your brainy (eyeglasses in the corner of mouth musing.) :)))
    loves yas. xx
    HEY. GET that Monkey outta the spank a meter. I don’t KNOW why Monkeys like to be spanked ~ they just do.
    I’m sorry – what did you just ask me?
    No – clear the stage for the next show. . . . . big vaudville number coming up.

    – evon ski

  • Jennifer Rhoades
    Jennifer Rhoadesover 2 years ago

    I’m reading…between jolly ol’ guffaws! You gave me a good laugh, Spankerella!

  • Spankerella!!! oh that’s a good one!!!! so great to see you and share a laugh Jen. Ahh the risk of being silly . . . . sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but all things considered . . . i have survived much worse. Thanks for your visit here. xx

    – evon ski

  • Jennifer Rhoades
    Jennifer Rhoadesover 2 years ago

    “I have survived much worse”!!! You want embarrassment? Try 15 years on the dance stage! The full on humiliations I could tell you! You’d laugh yourself raw!

  • perhaps it’s time to write a poem or story . . . . sounds like a character building experience. :)))

    – evon ski

  • Rnz0
    Rnz0over 2 years ago

    Loomless worldweaving; Earthmuffin spankathon. IUEP? So, no commando style?

  • IUEP . . . it’s an organization I made up fpr world peace. To bidge the gaps in cultural awareness and foster understanding of what it is truly like to walk 10 miles in someone else’s underwear. Only the protesters are going commando. Pick a country and an underwear exchange buddy.
    or just smile :)))

    – evon ski

  • kenroome
    kenroomeover 2 years ago

    I just had this vision of all your giant hands bolted to this like wagon whee thing laid on its side and you at the crank offering up some kind of ultimate redemption….instead of a hundred hail Mary’s its 10 minutes on the spank – o – whirl. I’m not even sure Ben Franklin was this genius. Hopin the other dimension business doesn’t keep you to long. :)

  • ahhh redeption is neigh. it’s truly just a spank away from heaven. oh my goodness . . Ben Franklin?? I am not worthy to be in the same comment.
    Thanks BIG time!!!

    – evon ski

  • Donna19
    Donna19over 2 years ago

    Well….slap once shame on you, slap me twice and make me smile….

  • i guess that’s part of the 30 day poem push, grabbing wildly and launching. You seemed to naturally create and release them D. Thanks for taking a gander. :)

    – evon ski

  • carboneye
    carboneyeover 2 years ago

    I’d like to volunteer for the exxxtra research bit and I’d also like to visit the, “……still cooking in that good idear invention part of the universe.”, because I’ve allway’s wanted to go there! Reading your funny write’s is even harder to stop than eating potatoe chip’s but healthier and no crumb’s!::}}

  • ahh ya got a little something on yur lip . . .there ya go! you’d be a great partner in crime . . i mean fellow mad scientist. Ha haaa. Thanks a laways for the great support CE. :)))

    – evon ski

  • we could still use a few freestyle old fashioned paddlers. start doing shoulder exercises and practicing follow thru form with a tennis racket. :))

    – evon ski

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