The Horrible Soup story.

Once upon a time, I made some horrible soup. I didn’t set out to do that but that’s how it turned out. My step Mom bought me a package of 13 bean soup. I thought . . Gee I don’t know, that’s sounds like an awful lot of beans . . . ! Personally I never mixed more than 3 different kinds. I didn’t recognize some of those beans! (I hope all the bean experts don’t start harassing me.) Secretly I had a baddd feeling about this from the get-go. BUT . . . I followed the instructions pretty well and soon had a giant simmering pot . . . of . . . some depressing looking soup. I tasted it. nahhh. . . it wasn’t werking. So! I started adding stuff . . . getting bold and creative. But there was some pre-packaged flavor in there that I just did not like. You think . . well, now I’ve invested all this time and ingredients and dinner’s in a half an hour. I used my lifeline and made a few calls. Try throwing a potato in there, my one girlfriend said. Potatoes will soak up the bad flavor. yeah?? okay. then throw the potato away. okay. no, that didn’t help. poor potato got squat out of the deal. Life in the kitchen. Cover up the flavor with another flavor. Oh like maybe a bunch of dill? Hmm . . . What’s for dinner? asked my hungry H. Oh . . . some highly experimental soup. I don’t like the sound of that! I didn’t like the taste of it! It was like one of those paintings where you keep throwing paint on the canvas saying man this stinks! No real hope that it’s salvagable, but you just can’t give up yet. I tried to give a hopeful, everything’s-under-control smile, accidently snorted a little when I laughed, but recovered nicely. Went right back into one-more-chance mode. I made one more call, to a friend with 12 kids. Yeah I know 12!! She cooks alot and is very smart and resourceful, so I gave her the reader’s digest condensed version. She asked me several highly diagnostic questions. I submitted my final answer and waited. It was like waiting for a calculater to spit out the answer to a complicated math problem.
Okay . . here’s what you should do.
OH Finally real help! Okay Help me!! I’m all ears.
Turn the stove off
Put the lid on
yeah yeah . . .
grab it by both handles
uh huh? . . . .
and take it outside
Wha . . .?
and dump it over the fence!
on the neighbor’s side?
Think that’ll fix it, I laughed?
Sometimes you just gotta say UNCLE.
Well, I must say, that was a big relief. I really did not wanna eat that soup.
Hey where’d that soup go? asked Mr. B.
Back from whence it came.
WHAT does that mean?
It means we’re having as the French say “le jumbo sandwee!”
Cheese sandwiches.
Sooo . . . we had some delicious cheese sandwiches.
And a good laugh for dessert.
The End.

*in my family growing up , my Dad always called grilled cheese sandwiches le jumbo sandwee it doesnt really make sense, but it’s just a quirky expression. :)
yvb 2011

The Horrible Soup story.

evon ski

Joined June 2009

  • Artist
  • Artwork Comments 17

Artist's Description

just a little soup adventure.
Oh and for your information . . I’m a fabulous cook.!! :)) although I do seem to have a couple other stories. hmm . . . hey you win some, you lose some.
Now that you’re all stuffed . . . smiling is good for digestion. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

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