babylon

Yasemin Sumner
Author: Yasemin Sumner
Word Count: 222
browse writing next

babylon

he had a girl’s name
and
trembling hands
on my stomach
in my bedroom
in my records
he said
I love you
the first one
to mean it
and
he never
asked me to say it
back
although
sometimes
under his
skin
I felt
the threat of it
he never
asked
about the meetings
with
community services
or whatever they’re called now
I met him at
the party house
his mum was a drunk
she hit hard
I held his hand tight
told him
I didn’t know where
mine was
I thought it was enough
but he wanted
everything
and I
didn’t have
anything
left
so I disappeared
I still don’t know where
and when I came
back
I said
I didn’t mean it
to the lady when
we had our next meeting
when he was dead
he had a lot of problems you
know
she said
at the funeral
they called it an accident
and the ring
they showed his mum
was
crushed
and she played a song
that I knew
he’d hate
I hid up the back
someone said
you scrub up all right
and I left
kneeled down
outside the church
in the grass
and I held my hands
to my chest
and said it
over and over
too late
it must have
looked
like I was
praying

  • visualmetaphor

    visualmetaphor

    Wow… this is really touching Yas…
    I love the part that says:

    and she played a song
    that I knew
    he’d hate

    It really shows that she knew him better than his own mother…
    God your work effects me.
    I feel so inspired after I read it!
    I recently added a short story to my page called “Candy”..
    I’d love you to read it.

    Thankyou
    Keep up the fantastic work
    Bec
    xx

  • Yasemin Sumner replied

    Thanks Bec.

    This one makes me a bit sad.
    The true ones always do.
    So much easier to hide behind fiction. But sometimes you just have to write it how it comes.

    I read your story and really enjoyed it. Thank you and you keep up the words too, looks like they’re coming thick and fast for you. x

  • visualmetaphor

    visualmetaphor

    It is a lot easier to write fiction… but I tend to find parts of myself in my fictional characters as well… I dont think I can escape it lol

    Aww, thank you Yas!
    They are =)
    I feel inspired by your writing.

    x

  • Jess Andrews

    Jess Andrews

    very powerful, unbelievably sad

  • PJ Ryan

    PJ Ryan

    absolute with jess .. so strong and powerful .. so sad … beautiful yasemin x

  • chelsea hotel
  • Jessica  Tremp

    Jessica Tremp

    fuck…your word bullets are hitting fast and furious at the moment. keep your finger on the trigger. it knows what it’s doing

  • Erin Lyall

    Erin Lyall

    This is amazing, Yas. I also loved the bit about playing the song he would hate. So honest and raw.

  • skinnyman

    skinnyman

    great stuff, raw and true.

  • thepalms

    thepalms

    Oh my god this is heartbreaking! Wow. You really know how to cut deep. Beautiful. Well done!!

  • thepalms

    thepalms

    I mean, it is very honest writing, that is why it is so moving, I really believe it and feel it.

  • abigailswallow

    abigailswallow

    this just wrecks me.

  • candidenuts

    candidenuts

    too late

    The two words are the awl that just slowly wears the edges of our sanity away; because it can’t quite punch through, it contents itself with pressure that erodes.

    A friend of mine committed suicide when we were in high school. I wanted to uproot trees by screaming at them. I wanted to punch holes in trees just by the sound of my screaming. But I didn’t know when I was supposed to do it. I walked around waiting for the right moment and it just didn’t come. It was the same before she died too. I just kept walking around and I was waiting.

    But all that was before I wrote about it, before I cried about it, before I let it be. You know?

    I don’t know what you went through, but this reminded me of my own trek through the heart, so to speak.

    You say what we are, and you say it well and simply.

  • Cassey

    Cassey

    This is so incredibly good and it gave me chills.

  • muscade

    muscade

    i love love the rhythm to this. its almost like a childs nursery rhyme. and its just so beautiful.

  • Rachael  Hope

    Rachael Hope

    i’ve missed this, the feeling after reading your words. xx

  • gretchen .

    gretchen .

    you tell it girl – like no one else can. xo

  • msdebbie

    msdebbie

    I really adore the flow to this story. And it gave me chills – I love that. I believe it provides an emotional jolt right into the bone marrow of the topic – and you’ve done it so eloquently. Terrific, magnificent write!!! xoxo Deb xoxo

  • Shaun Green

    Shaun Green 24 days ago

    This is really beautifully written. The last line left me breathless.

Add your comment

You need to login or signup to add your comment to this work.