It’s a tee. It’s a dress. It’s the new Graphic T-shirt Dress.

FEAR OF DEATH

I’m sick and tired of hearing people saying, “I’m not afraid to die.” It’s the ultimate bullshit line and I’ve been hearing it more and more of late. In line at Shoprite last night; two punky, droopy-pants-backward-hat kids talking trash. On TV lately, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard it.

Whoever you are, if you’d had no fear of death…you’d be dead. It’s too easy to die. Just watch one episode of “A 1000 Ways to Die”. That’s why I believe those who fail at suicide are truly the most inept of people. Or perhaps the unluckiest.

It’s the fear of death, or more to the point, the fear of the unknown (for us human high-thinkers) that keeps us alive. It’s a little facet of existence Mother Nature has graciously provided for us called “fight or flight response”. All animals (possibly even plants) who can’t even conceptualize death, have it. Even bugs have it. Hear that, Punky Boy? BUGS. Even bacteria. You’re smarter than bacteria, right? Well…

I guess the kid was trying to project an image of bravery. All kids posture in some way, but to say such a thing only indicates that you are self-preservationally retarded. And if he actually is unafraid of death, hey, get on with it and make way for someone who actually has the tools to survive.

Anyway, Mister Droopy-drawers, “Be afraid…be VERY afraid.”

FEAR OF DEATH

George Yesthal

Brodheadsville, United States

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