ANNOUNCING THE FORMATION OF THE CHURCH OF THE HILARIOUS TRINITY
I’m starting my own religion, damnit. I’m sick and tired of all these other religions getting all the tax breaks and exemptions and it’s high time I do something about it.
Let’s see…we’ll need a good ridiculous text to worship. I got it…The Book of Moron. I like that…has a certain ring to it.
Now, I’ve always liked the idea of a god taking the form of a trinity so we’ll worship Carl and Rob Reiner and the Holy Spirit will be…hmm…Gin.
We’ll meet every Thursday afternoon in Kohl’s dressing rooms all across the land. Underwear of course, will be considered appropriate attire. Communion will be BYOB. If you have gum, you’d better have enough to share with the whole congregation.
The core belief system will be predicated upon the assumption that Carl and Rob Reiner created the world back in the days when alcohol was prohibited. That nothing existed before that and Gin came into being and flooded the earth. Carl/Rob so loved mankind, which He/They created at some point in there, that they showered us with tasty mixers, cocktail wieners, skinny straws and tiny umbrellas in abundance. And lo, there was drunkenness and merriment throughout the land and all who gathered in their name rejoiced. Hallelujah! Spirits be praised.
Collections will be sent to: the Right Reverend George Yesthal @ P.O. box 783, Kresgeville Pa. 18333 (send cash)