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Magic of the Lucky Shit Stain

I discovered shit stains in my underpants today and now I am feeling lucky and singing the praises of mathematical certainty. Why? Well, let me tell you. I have always LOVED mathematics because it is the purest science. 1 + 1 ALWAYS = 2.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

Now, here’s the secret; the alphabet is assigned numerical values; a=1, b=2, c=3 and so on. So if we add up the numerical value for SHIT, we get 19, 8, 9, 20, which equals 56.

Now we add up STAIN, or-19, 20, 1, 9, 14, which equals 63. Add 56 + 63 and what have we got? 119. Now we add 1+1+9 and what does that equal? Why, 11 of course, and as any good gambler knows, along with 7, 11 is one of the two luckiest numbers in the world.

So, baby, I am off to Atlantic City in my lucky shit-stained BVD’s.

Hmmm… B=2 V=22…

Magic of the Lucky Shit Stain

George Yesthal

Brodheadsville, United States

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