Q. Ya know what really sucks?
A. A good twenty dollar whore.
Q. Beg your pardon?
A. Begging is moot. My pardon is free.
Q. Mind if I cut in?
A. Only if you’re a surgeon.
Q. Will that be cash or charge?
A. Cash, I left my bayonet at home.
Q. May I get you something from the menu?
A. No, I’d prefer something from the kitchen.
Q. Do you validate parking?
A. Why, do you think you’re still driving?
Q. Why does shit always happen to me?
A. If it didn’t, you’d explode.
Q. Must you be so obtuse?
A. Well, I try to be acute but then I don’t have all the angles.
Q. Who do you think you are?
A. Hold on, let me check my license.
Q. What am I going to do now?
A. Breathing’s a safe bet.
Q. If a tree falls in the woods and no-one hears it, does it make a sound?
A. I don’t know but listen to this…SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Just a few inane questions with some smart-ass answers.