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Catharsis

I hate you, you fat bastard
And you, you wrinkled hag.
How dare you condescend to me,
you doddering old bag?

Yes, I’ll get your quarter pound
Of cole slaw, you old shrike.
And I’ll pick through all the salmon
Til I find one that you like.

I’ll do this with a smile and then,
While wishing you the best,
Wish for real that you go home
And shit yourself to death.

I’ll gladly go check in the back
If you don’t see it up front.
Will you offer a small thank you?
NO, you arrogant rich cunt.

So in my mind I’ll get revenge
For all indignities
A reckoning for never saying,
“Thank you, sir” or “Please”.

My mind’s eye conjures many things
To amplify your woes.
A maelstrom of fine torments
To afflict you…here we go…

I’d break you and I’d smite you
And your great finances too.
I’d burn your fucking house down
Then I’d REALLY turn the screw.

I’d spit in your rice pudding
I’d put tacks upon your chair
I’d load your mashed potatoes
With dead bugs and pubic hair.

I’d trip you going down the stairs
And watch you bounce and tumble
For all the times you bitched and moaned,
Insulted me and grumbled.

And as you lay there bleeding
I’d get out a can of mace
Say, “Sorry, can I help you”?
As I spray it in your face.

I’d key your car, I’d kill your dog
While poisoning your well
I’d spike your punch with shit and piss
And send you straight to hell

I’d spoil the mayo in your tuna
To give you salmonella
Hand it over, smiling and say
“There ya go, Big fella”.

I’d drain your veins, I’d break your bones
I’d pour salt in your eyes
I’d fill your mouth with molten lead
So no-one hears your cries.

Well, I feel so much better now
That all this has been said
“Have a nice day, sir and ma’am
Or…simply go drop dead.”

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Before anyone gets the idea that I am a homicidal maniac, I wish to offer this disclaimer. I work at a well known food chain in central New Jersey. This area is populated by some of the wealthiest, most disgusting, sour, ill-tempered, degrading, self absorbed, trite, miserable, avaricious, loathsome human trolls I have ever had the distinct displeasure and misfortune to to have been thrown into a collective social cage with in my entire life.
I have to serve these horrific examples of human debris six days a week with a pleasant word and a winning smile.
This is my way of letting my resentment and disgust go to ground. Nothing more.

Enjoy!

Tags

anger, bored, catharsis, humor, revenge

Comments

  • becteri
    becterialmost 6 years ago

    I know your pain there… Great piece!

  • Thanx, Becca. This piece has been germinating for a while now. Just had to shit it out

    – George Yesthal

  • becteri
    becterialmost 6 years ago

    lol! Could you do me a favour and put the word ‘bored’ in you tag line? That way I can accept it into the boredom group!

  • Done. Thanx

    – George Yesthal

  • becteri
    becterialmost 6 years ago

    Your Wekcome!

  • Rielle
    Riellealmost 6 years ago

    Haha…..damn fantastic!

  • George Yesthal
    George Yesthalalmost 6 years ago

    Thanx, Rielle.

  • mtda
    mtdaalmost 6 years ago

    Being a delivery driver for a restaurant I can relate, and I got quite a laugh from this… nice write.

  • Thanx for reading and your comment.

    – George Yesthal

  • observer
    observeralmost 6 years ago

    I often imagine having the patience and time to quietly let down all the tyres of the media liasion at one of the councils I have the misfortune to have to deal with. Not slash. Just let them all go flat. Considering how full of hot air she is, that would be sweet.

  • Doing all these horrific things mentally is kind of a balm in itself, but writing them down lets it all go to ground. Hence the catharsis.
    Thanx for reading.

    – George Yesthal

  • loramae
    loramaealmost 6 years ago

    WeW! Please never be my enemy! lol Although your language is… you know somewhat colorful… I believe you may have ranted and raved for a world of those who can’t or won’t :O)

  • Ah yes. RANTING. It’s who I am…it’s what I do.
    Thanx for the comment.

    – George Yesthal

  • Tony Ryan
    Tony Ryanalmost 6 years ago

    Think that from the time we are born the world tries to teach us about seperation. I too get so angry when one person believes they are better than another. However most who believe this have had it drummed into them by parents, media, and even schools and religions. For me the best solution is to search when someone hurts me. Search my own hurt and search why the person has tried to hurt me. The more I search the more aware I become of the acts so many put on. These people who are so rude to you are most likely very unhappy people but are so blocked they don’t even realise it.

  • Great comment as usual, Tony. The fact is, I have neither the time nor inclination to “search” for anything in these cocksuckers, They are unquestionably the least search-worthy cross sectin of humanity I personally have ever been exposed to. Anyway, it’s not like their abuses come once in a while. They are rapid fire. At least ten to twenty a day. Frankly it would scare and worry me if I began to understand them. You have a good heart. God bless you for that.

    – George Yesthal

  • Tony Ryan
    Tony Ryanalmost 6 years ago

    Thanks George. I think this aspect of life is far more pronounced in America than over here. If people were as rude as this in Australia they would be sorted out pretty quick I think.

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