You are a relatively peaceful little guy named Hassan.

I own a mom & pop pizzeria that’s struggling and I live across the street from you. Every day I see deliveries from Pizza Hut, Quizno’s, Papa John’s, etc. arriving at your house. Now, I take it into my head that what you are doing and your personal decisions, are hurting my way of life. After all YOU are dealing with people other than ME. And since you’re a brown skinned fella with a weird hat, you probably have controversial opinions as well.

So, one day I build a high fence in front of your house in the hopes that it will stop you from trading with anyone else but me. But the other guys just walk around the fence… Oh, POOP!

Okay, I’ll get vicious dogs and send them after the delivery men and YOU every time a delivery I don’t like threatens to happen.

Well, that works for a while until you get bigger and more vicious dogs and a few uncontrollable wild cats as well.

I know, I’ll break out the arsenal of guns and mortars etc, that the old man collected and aim them at your house. Shit! You can’t see them because I built that big fence. Okay…time to give you a phone call and lay it on the line.

“Hello, Hassan? Yeah, this is your Uncle Sam…that’s right…across the street. Anyway, Hassan, I have a whole shit-load of really dangerous weapons trained on your house and I’ve noticed that you’ve been conducting business with people that I don’t much approve of. So…here’s the thing. I need you to stop these illicit transactions forthwith, get your ass over here and pick up my list of acceptable patrons and abide by it to the letter…or, unfortunately you leave me no choice but to dust your uncooperative little ass…Oh yeah, my friend, Ishmael and his family are gonna squat in your back yard and tell you how to live and…Hello? Hello? Hassan? Hmm…musta got cut off…”

Next day: Delivery truck in front of your (Hassan’s) house reads; ACME QUALITY CANNON PARTS.

I ask you; who’s right and who’s wrong?


George Yesthal

Brodheadsville, United States

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