After all is said and done, more is said than done.
There is a difference between a psychopath and a neurotic. A psychopath thinks two and two are five. A neurotic knows that two and two are four, but he worries about it.
Respectability: the offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
No one in this world needs a mink coat but a mink.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
If Jesus was Jewish, how come he has a Mexican name?
When the 30-year-old lawyer died he said to St. Peter, “How can you do this to me? – a heart attack at my age? I’m only 30.” Replied St. Peter: “When we looked at your total hours billed we figured you were 95.”