'The Flip Side', creative minds, words, design.

Author: Chris Dixon
Word Count: 7436
browse writing

THE FLIP SIDE
CREATIVE MINDS, WORDS, DESIGN

FIRST AND FOREMOST

“I want to be all that I am capable of becoming…” – Katherine Mansfield.

When told I was required to write a thesis on or about ‘design,’ I battled to come up with an idea of what to write about. Well, let’s say, no particular topic inspired me enough to make me want to write about it. I racked my ‘poor little brain,’ for months. In the end, I decided to write about how art or design and how we view it, has changed over the years and what has influenced that change. In particular, I decided to write about ‘writing,’ to write about words in general and the power they ‘hold over individuals’.

Words have always made an impact on me. I have always wondered how people write; in the sense that, what they write seems clear. I have always wondered how people can say the things they do; in all respects, as I have always found it extremely difficult to express my feelings through words.

I have been collecting little pieces of information over the years, storing it in the ‘scrapbook’ of my mind, never knowing how to put the ‘scraps’ on to paper. Now I have some idea, I can attempt to share these ‘scraps’ with you. This book is a collection of the words that have had a profound effect on me. Words that have provoked varied emotions. Some things that have amazed hurt or mislead me. A collection of the words which have enlightened soothed and empowered me. This book is also an ‘outlet’ for some of my inner most, previously guarded thoughts, feelings and ideas. Words that I hope will provoke and inspire you, as much as they have done with me.

Throughout the book, I want to highlight one thing; that we are only able to emphasize our saying, reading and writing, because of the ‘mind’… our ever searching, questioning minds, which influence thoughts, ideas and actions. I want to guide a path to the part of us; which makes us who we are and who we may become or even why we become who we are. The ‘mind’ is the most powerful, creative design tool we all have at out disposal, to do with as we choose as it is our own perceptions in entirety.

I wanted to put a different ‘spin’ on the word ‘design’. I want people (who deal with the technical aspects of ‘design’ on a daily basis, in particular), to consider a different aspect of ‘design’. An approach which, I think is seldom thought of or even taken for granted. An aspect of ‘design’, which is more conceptual more abstract, than the considered status quo. The aspect of ‘design’ I am approaching is; ourselves and the ‘influences’ which effectively create us and make us so similar to one another, yet so different in so many ways. The individual perceptions of these concepts may be fascinating and so controversial.

The discussion of these issues is in relation to me as a person and as an artist and will primarily be based on people and their words which have influenced my thoughts, ideas and actions. The experiences, my ‘extracurricular studies’, in all aspects; that have affected me and the way I have learned or achieved from them, as a result. I believe these entities have undoubtedly, ‘shaped’ or ‘designed’ me as a person in society as I perceive it.

Being who I am, I want to consider all aspects, as others did before me, who questioned the validity of controversial theories, and want to consider new things, to ‘cover new ground’, to ‘travel a road less travelled’; to ‘break away’ from ‘traditional’ thought. I am someone who revels in being the ‘blue sheep’ of the herd; a person, who is not an ‘outcast’, just different; a person who generally wants to stand apart from the crowd, thus consequently, if I should ‘stumble and fall’ on this ‘less travelled road’ I will pick myself up, brush myself off, and keep on walking. After all, I am bound to make mistakes. Who doesn’t? Mistakes have been ‘put there’ for a specific purpose, to help guide us in the future, to make us more ‘sure-footed’ in that the next time we come across an obstacle we need to avoid or overcome, we are able to do so.

Finally, being the person I am, I have decided to ‘let go’ of that which I thought I was sure of and ‘throw caution to the wind’. Sometimes it’s easier for us to not take risks, for fear of disappointment, hurt, judgement or rejection and many more! But, if we didn’t, ‘take a leap of faith’ every once in a while we would never learn anything new. I have decided therefore to take this uncalculated risk despite any consequences.

Some of you, may think I am naïve and idealistic in thinking that the thoughts, opinions or ideas, voiced in this thesis, will make an impression on you. It is a solitary opinion, however I would have to say, I would rather be naïve and idealistic, than be a person who simply quoted others, without ‘voicing’ my own thoughts, opinions or ideas. If I was to be true to myself, I would think, “What’s the point in having a ‘voice’ when you do not use it?”

In closing, I want you the reader, to become increasingly aware of the images your mind creates and the feelings that are provoked when you read this book. Why? I want you, to do most of the ‘designing’, in order for you to see the ‘true’ design of my book, you need to be open to these images and feelings and be more aware of the words. As I said earlier… we all have one thing in common, our powerful, creative minds! We ‘design’ all the time, mostly unconsciously, but especially when reading. The words written and then read create images, feeling and atmosphere along with whole new ‘worlds’ within our minds as we effectively ‘design’ the people, places or occurrences mentioned in all literary experiences. We effectively, ‘design’ the look of a book!

Because we are all so different, each one of you who read this book will have a varying design appearing before you as the essence of my approach is to show the elements of one’s own perceptions and thus their own designs!

THE BEGINNING

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

- John 1:1 NIV

THE OBJECTIVE

“I am interested in the type of encounter between a viewer and an object that provokes an emotional reaction of alliance between viewer and object.” “The art object is always a creation of an artist (or a collective or collaboration); the art piece does not attempt to say the truth, in the all-encompassing meaning of the word, but rather the subjective stand point of the artist.”

- Roy Rub, You Are Here: A Few Thoughts About Alliance.

THE POWER OF WORDS

To fully understand where I want to go with this book, to fully appreciate this book, you need to understand one thing; why I love words.

Writing is the visual counterpart of speech. The drawing of pictures and markings is an example of writing; both are natural ways of communication. I find it so amazing how words are strung together in sentences, sentences into paragraphs, paragraphs into stories… which create a picture… all of their own. Those ‘pictures’ created then illicit a response from the reader. Written words have the power to illustrate that which cannot be drawn, or said aloud. Similarly, spoken words have the power to tell a story, a story that cannot be written. Words are used to communicate a person’s thoughts, feelings and ideas. They are used to tell stories, whether they are based on fact or fiction. They hint at ‘the bigger picture’. The ‘design’ of life and everything in it ‘that is’.

Words are not enough on their own! In order to give words ‘power’, firstly we have to trust in or believe the source. Secondly, as with anything else in life, we need to believe in the words themselves, we have to believe that there is some truth to, or hidden meaning behind them. We need to have faith!

You need to believe and trust me and my words, in order to give my words power. You need to see the design behind them.

That design is that words, if believed, have the power to evoke emotions and actions both good and bad. Words whether written said or sung, have the power to destroy as well as re-build. They have the power to amaze and shock. Words have the power to incite fear or rage. They have the power to confuse as well as bring about understanding. Words have the power to hurt and mislead. Words have the power to soothe or bring about a sense of peace, well-being and happiness. They have the power to enlighten and encourage. Words have the power to empower. They have the power to change a life. Words, both good and bad, saved my life! They have changed me, for the better!

OURSELEVES

“People travel to wonder at the height of mountains,
At the huge waves of the seas,
At the long course of rivers,
At the vast compass of the oceans,
At the circular motion of the stars,
And yet, they pass by themselves without wondering”

- Saint Augustine

According to some, our roots started with Adam and Eve. Others would dispute this saying that evolution had more to do with how things began.

I would like to share my own light-hearted version with both of these parties.

Have you ever thought: that maybe Adam and Eve were just taking a mud bath; that maybe just maybe, they were having their ‘spa’ day and not necessarily being formed from the clay of the earth? Maybe Adam and Eve and the rest of their kin looked much like a couple of apes because things such as ‘razors’… hadn’t been invented yet?

How we ended up the way we are… is not that important to me because I believe we will never know for sure. I believe we quite simply are not meant to know. It’s just part of life’s design for us. The question of where our origins stem from, is one of life’s questions that could or never will be answered. I may be proved wrong but until then I will stick to this train of thought. What is important is that we were born with minds which give us the power and choice to decide if this theory of mine has substance or if it’s just full of… you know what?

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.”

-Albert Einstein

“People and their thoughts are like paintings, so varied; and like paintings it’s a matter of personal taste
that makes us decide whether to like them or not. If we do not like them, we might learn to appreciate them.”

- My words, my view.

MY BEGINNING

No… I’m not going to share with you, the ‘gory details’ of how ‘the stork’ dropped a tiny bundle of joy into the welcoming arms of two unsuspecting people, who wanted nothing more than to be loving, doting parents (which, by the way, they were and still are!).

That, to me, was a start, but it was not ‘my beginning’.

I believe there comes a point in a person’s life, when that person decides to change, whether it is for ‘the better’ or the opposite. That point, ‘my beginning’, was just a few years ago.

There was a time, not so long ago, when I was a very angry, confused, sad individual. A ‘dark’ person, a ‘lost soul’. I tried, unsuccessfully to hide behind a ‘mask’ of my own making. I distanced myself from feeling or showing, any or much emotion. I gave the impression of having this hard, confident, ‘give not a shit, about anything or anyone’ exterior, but, internally, I was just as scared and insecure as any other! Maybe more so? I was unpredictable, I was untouchable, I was unattainable; simply, because I had erected such a formidable, secure wall around myself, in order to protect myself from perceived, possible or imminent pain, rejection, judgement, disappointment… I used this ‘mask’, this ‘wall’; as my defence mechanism. Sometimes it’s easier and less complicated, for us to not let people in; to not appear weak or vulnerable.

I hesitate. It is hard for me to share this, verbally or otherwise. Previously, I have not been able to, because it is so personal. I do not know if I should share something that is so personal and private. It may change your opinion of me. You may see me in a different light. But in order to show just how powerful words are and can be; I feel I have to. I want to be completely open and honest.

I, because of these words and the ‘power’ I gave them, I reached a point in my life when everything consisted of ‘doom and gloom’, my adolescent years at that point, when nothing seemed to make sense, everything was confusing. I believe we all reach this stage at some point in our lives, sometimes more than once!

I started questioning, “Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why me?”

All I wanted to do was find a safe place in which to hide. I wanted to run away. I wanted to crawl into a small, dark space and die. I often thought about (and tried) taking my own life. I am no longer ashamed to admit it.

This point in my life, in its own way, was the best thing that could have happened to me, because I learned from my mistake. I have grown since then. I was made stronger. I am more determined now, because of it. I am wiser. It has reinforced my faith; faith in myself and my faith in ‘the BIG man upstairs’. I believe it was all part of my life’s design.

I’m also not ashamed to admit it, because if my honesty in talking about this ‘shameful’ act helps prevent others from doing the same or similar things, then I have achieved something; something extremely worthwhile.

It still stuns me. To think, these words, which I will not repeat (they have done enough damage already), contained that much power! I still can’t believe I fell so low, all because I believed such blatant lies. I no longer pay any attention, whatsoever, to this ‘propaganda’! I refuse to believe such lies!

FOR YOU

To my mother, to my father, it’s your son or it’s your daughter.
Are my screams loud enough, for you to hear me?
Should I turn it up for you?
I sit here locked inside my head,
Remembering everything you’ve said.
This silence get us nowhere,
Gets us nowhere way too fast.

This silence is what kills me,
I need someone here to help me,
But you don’t know how to listen,
And let me make my decisions,
Cause I sit here locked inside my head,
Remembering everything you’ve said.

All your insults and your curses,
Make me feel like I’m not a person,
And I feel like I am nothing,
But you made me so do something,
Because I’m fucked up because you are,
Need attention, attention you couldn’t give.

I sit here locked inside my head,
Remembering everything you’ve said.
This silence gets us nowhere,
Gets us nowhere, way too fast!

- Staind, “Break the Cycle” album song lyrics.

CASUALTY OF WAR

“The battle has been lost,
And in this war I know
I shall be one of the casualties.

I need not wait
For the dust to settle.
I can already tell,
Victory is gone from me.

Maybe if I were to fight on
Things would change,
But hopelessness has robbed me,
Of every ounce of my strength.

I stand here… Defeated,
And what was left
Of my troops have retreated.

Conquered and wounded,
I await my fait.
My heart has sunk to my boots,
But I still hold my head up high.

This battle has been lost,
And I know in this war
I shall be one of the casualties.”

- Gideon Mahaka

THE UPS AND DOWNS OF LIFE

“It is centuries since I believed in you,
But today, my need of you has come back.
I want no rose coloured future,
No books of learning,
No protestations or denials.
I am sick of this ugly scramble,
I am tired of being pulled about.
Oh God, I want to sit in yours knees,
On the all-to-big throne of Heaven,
And fall asleep with my hands tangled in your grey beard.”

I no longer recall who the author of this prayer is, what it is called; or where I saw it.

I came across it during one of my ‘dark’ times. This prayer, no matter how many times I read it, still manages to bring tears to my eyes. It reminds me of just how far I had sunk, how hard it was to pick myself up and how far I have come since those dark times.

Yes, words also have the power to make you recall events, they ‘bring on’ memories, some of which, you’d rather not remember. I remember how I felt during these times and it heartens me to think that I will never again feel and think the way I did all those years ago!

I still go through downs, but always find the strength to stop myself from falling too far. It becomes easier each time. My ‘lowest lows’, will never get me that low again! This is my vow. Life is full of ups and downs, we tend to love the ups and hate the downs. We love the ups because we never feel better, we never feel more full; we never feel more alive. That is why we find the downs so hard to deal with and why we find it so hard to pick ourselves up after falling.

The way I see it now, even though we hate the downs, they are just as good or important (maybe more so), as the ups. The downs make us realise just how good the ups are to us. They remind us of what we would be missing out on, what we have to live for. The hard times instil in us a desire and will to live. They make us treasure life and everything in it that we hold dear. Life is a treasure, one that mustn’t be taken for granted. The downs have taught me to wait and see. We may not see the bigger picture at the time, but I believe that there always is one, there is always a bigger plan being executed. We can only see this design once we’ve survived or lived through these rough patches. These patches are just another essential part of life’s design. We need the old in order to appreciate the new. We need the old to keep us humble. We need the old to remind us, of who we once were, and make us strive to achieve something more, something new; something better.

AN EXTRACT

“Always remember, that to think about bad things is really the easiest thing in the world. If you leave your mind to itself it will spiral you down into ever increasing unhappiness. To think about good things, however, requires effort!”

- James Clavell, “Shogun”.

PROPORGANDA

When we think of propaganda, we tend to think of all the people who have, or have had the power to ‘sell’ it. We tend to think of all the damage it causes. We tend to think of it as being harmful and destructive. We don’t often think that although propaganda can be damaging, it can provoke good too. It can invoke change, in a constructive way.

Most bad or evil propaganda is used in the political arena as a powerful weapon. A weapon that in my opinion, is far more damaging than any other weapon used in times of war. Propaganda is a tool used to incite hatred, to ‘brainwash’ people into acting in ways they would never normally even consider. Propaganda, in the political arena, is used to turn normally decent citizens, against their fellow. Take, for example, what happened in the 1930’s and early 1940’s, during World War Two. Because of one man, his followers and the propaganda they sold; the Jewish faith and its people were almost completely lost.

Some people still haven’t learnt from their mistakes. Propaganda, discrimination and persecution still continue to destroy innocent lives, to this day. Some people, unfortunately, will never learn.

I do not want, so much, to talk of that kind of propaganda; it is too blatant, too plain for the eyes to see. It’s too ‘touchy’ a subject, for me to broach. I want to talk more of the kind of propaganda that is so cleverly, so slyly, hidden in the things we are all exposed to in our everyday lives. The kind, we don’t even consider to be ‘propaganda’. We are exposed to so much propaganda, both good and bad, it’s unbelievable.

If we were to think critically, everything we hear, read or say whether good or bad; could be considered propaganda.

Consider the things we read, for example. You just have to look at any magazine on any shelf to see it. Fashion magazines, in particular, with all their air-brushed beauties shown on the cover or within the pages, sell ‘perfection’. The ‘image’ they sell, is a false, highly damaging, impression of what ‘perfection’ is. To me, there is no such thing as ‘perfection’ and never will be. I like to think like this; I like the fact that we are not ‘perfect’. Imperfection, to me, is just another part of our design. Our imperfections make us who we are. They make us real. Our imperfections, in a way, make us perfect. So why people try to sell perfection is incomprehensible to me. It angers me, because the people selling these magazines know that what they are doing, what they are selling; is false. They are destroying peoples’ fragile self-images!

Propaganda either destroys or re-builds, depending on how it is used. I have talked of the destructive power it contains, how damaging it can be. Now, I want to highlight the healing power of propaganda. It is more important, to me, to ‘build’ or re-build, rather than destroy.

What if we were to not listen to this damaging propaganda. What if we were to not believe it; it would empower us, would it not? It did in my case, did it not? What if we were to ignore all the damaging propaganda and listen to all the empowering, inspirational propaganda we are surrounded with? What if we were to listen to and believe in ourselves our ‘inner voices, and the people around us when they say, “You are valuable, you are not considered ‘nothing’ by me! You are special to me, I love you the way you are, and for who you are! You matter to me!”

I have talked of how words contain the power to change a life and everything in it. If we believe lives will be changed. I have talked of how words can change ‘our design’, if we allow them to.

I ask you now, would, listening to and believing, these truly inspirational words, not rebuild our broken selves? Would they, not change the way we view ourselves and everything in life ‘that is’? Would they, not change our design?

I ask you now, Is this not possible?

A PRAYER

“LORD, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

THE MIDDLE

“Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They’re what make the instrument stretch – what make you go beyond the norm.”

– Cicely Tyson

LACE

We are all joined together by an invisible thread,
Our lives, so delicately interwoven,
Creating a vast, intricate pattern;
A vast, intricate, invisible design.

Sometimes, we tend to think of this
pattern, this design
Being a huge, tangled knot.

It’s only when we take a step backward,
That we realise that the tangled mess,
Is just a vast, intricate pattern of lace.
A vast pattern we no longer want to unravel.

- My words, my view

“You have to discover you, what you do and trust it”

- Barbra Streisand

THE MIDDLE

I was about seventeen when I came across these words:

“Light is everywhere, even in the darkest of shadows”

- Claude Monet

When I first read the words, I simply liked the pretty picture that the words ‘painted’ in my mind. “If only that were true!” was my first thought, not believing, at the time that they could be. I saw that there was some truth to them, with regards to art or painting. But couldn’t see how, and if, it could be applied to life in general. But then I started thinking, What if? What if… there is some ‘truth’ behind the words? What if the guy was not just talking about, how it could be applied to art or painting? It was at this point that I decided that there was, or at least could be, some truth to the words; that they could be applied to life in general. That, in it-self, created a light. Needless to say, this was a major turning point in my life.

Once we achieve this, once we can see the light, life and whatever has got us hiding in the ‘shadows’, becomes much simpler, less confusing and much easier to cope with. Believe me when I say that it is not an easy or simple task, nothing in life ever is! I had to change my whole mindset! It is especially difficult to see the light, when you are stuck in a negative, downward spiral.

“Even in the hardest of times, the darkest of shadows; a light will appear before you. You just need to walk towards it!”

Since those ‘dark times’, I have, slowly, learnt to open up, learnt to trust people, even though there may be possible disappointment, possible hurt on the cards! I’m glad I have allowed myself to ‘grow’! I mean, come on, who and how many people, in their right mind; could live in a shell for so long, and be happy? Sometimes, you’ve just got to let go of that which you think you’re sure of and throw caution to the wind. Sooner or later you have to decide whether or not you want to take that leap of faith. If the path you walk down leads to a fall, if you end up landing with your ass in the grit, pick yourself up, brush yourself off and keep on walking! After all, you’re bound to be more sure-footed afterwards, aren’t you? Pain and disappointment are inevitable; all that really matters is how you deal with them!

I now believe that there is no ‘bad’ in life, only varying degrees of good. Just as mistakes have their purpose, to make us more sure-footed, the ‘not so good’ can make us stronger! I believe it does.

FAITH

I have recently read ‘The DaVinci Code’, written by Dan Brown.

There was such a fuss made about it that I was curious; I had to find out why. It was the most riveting book I’ve read and I’ve yet to read another like it.

Dan Brown has managed to weave, so intricately, what we have believed to be fact, with fiction. You are left wondering, how much of the book is fact and how much of it is fiction, never finding an answer. He has managed to shake the very foundations on which we as Christians have based all our beliefs, our entire lives on, for centuries. He manages to convince, the reader, into believing that his words may have some truth behind them; thus giving his words power. During, and after reading this book you don’t know what to believe. Do you believe him and what he writes or do you believe what you’ve always believed?

When considering if his words should be given ‘power’, you can’t, because his words do such an excellent job, of making you un-sure, of everything. The only thing left to consider is whether he is a talented artist, a talented writer. That, in my opinion, is without doubt!

Your faith is bound to be tested from time to time it is just another small detail in life’s design, but if, you lose faith you lose everything!

If your faith is tested I would say its best you trust yourself. Do and think what you feel is right for you!

Have faith in yourself!

THE MIND

Can You Raed This?

The phaonmneal pwoer of the hmuan mnid, aoccdring to a rsheearch porjcet cnoducetd at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, syas that, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oreder the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taolt mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porblem. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Yaeh and you awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

You now konw what I maent when I said, we ‘dsegin’ unconsciously. The fcat that the mnid is able to do tihs is fascinating to me. We don’t otfen think about ‘slliy’ little things like this, so wehn we do it has the pwoer to ‘WOW’ us. Its ‘silly’ litlle things like this, I love.

POWERFUL WORDS

“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.”
“Art is a step in the known towards the unknown.”
“Every ‘minor’ is a reformer. If he is right, he leads the people to the right path. If he is wrong, the fanaticism he rouses in them heartens them to stand for their right.”
“Art arises when the secret vision of the artist and the manifestation of nature agree to find new shapes.”
“Irregularity comes either from madness or from ingenuity.”
“Wishes and desires are life’s occupation.
We must strive to realise life’s wishes and execute its’ desires.”
“We fear death, yet we long for slumber and beautiful dreams.”
“Never be afraid to shock your critics show them all you’ve got.”

- Various unknown sources.

WHY

Why do we write? Why not just say what we want to people?

Some would say, we write to keep record of history. We write to tell stories. We write because it’s always been considered a ritualistic thing to do.

I think it’s all these, and more. I think it has a lot more to do with expression. We write to communicate our thoughts, feelings and ideas with others. Writing allows those of us who find it challenging to express ourselves verbally, the freedom to say all we want to without feeling threatened or vulnerable. It allows us the freedom to express ourselves in an open and honest fashion. It allows us to say what we previously wouldn’t or couldn’t.

That’s why I write, because I can’t express all I want to when I speak, especially when what I have to say is something very personal. I was asked the other day to read a few pages of this book aloud; I couldn’t even do that. I couldn’t, because there’s so much of me within these pages, so much of who I am. So much I have never been able to express before and so much I hold dear. I am not used to sharing so much. It ‘frees’ me, but, at the same time, it scares me half to death. I’ve always been so careful about what I share and with whom I share it. I have always kept my thoughts and feelings very well hidden. I’ve always closed myself off. It has always been easier for me to do this. Doing this has meant that I am never disappointed, never feel ‘half full’, never feel rejected. When asked by people to say things, or read what I write, I get scared. I am scared I will hurt or disappoint these people. I am scared they will no longer view me the same way. I am scared they will reject my thoughts and feelings, therefore rejecting me. Most of all, I am scared that these people will actually accept or ‘embrace’ me.

I write, because I tend to clam up. My chest gets tight, I can’t breathe, the tears build up; I can’t speak, no matter how much I want to. I choke. I choke, even as I’m writing this. There’s always so much I want to say, but the words often escape me. I write because I feel threatened in some way, I feel vulnerable when I’m asked to speak. I feel so much and can’t find the words to express those feelings adequately. I require time to think; time to find the words that would best describe what I have to say. I write because I have never been able to express myself vocally; I have always found it extremely difficult to do so. I have always used my love of art to do that. I have always drawn what I feel; what I have wanted to say. Drawing was my outlet; it was my way of saying all I wanted to, without actually having to speak the words. Sometimes we can’t always express all we want to verbally or through drawing. Sometimes, there are no words.

I don’t know about you, but I find that there’s something more you get out of seeing someone’s thoughts, feelings or ideas expressed on paper. When you see someone’s thoughts, rather than hearing them, it invokes more of a response. It evokes more emotion. It makes that person’s thoughts more tactile somehow, that person’s ‘vision’ more ‘real’. To say something is one thing, but to have it within the grasp of your hand is quite another.

Now, as you can probably tell, it’s the written word that has me spellbound I don’t feel so completely powerless anymore. Writing and then reading what I write, makes more sense, not only to me, but to others as well. It does for me, what drawing used to. It helps clear my mind, it ‘lifts a huge weight’ off my shoulders. It gives me a sense of peace, of well-being, of freedom. Writing evokes feelings, much like the ones we feel when we dance.

Writing is drawing with words, instead of shape, texture and colour.

What I also find interesting about writing, is that you can look back, look at the things you wrote, in the past, and see how much you’ve grown, how much you’ve progressed, or regressed. If you’ve progressed, then “Whoop-de-doo! Good for you!” The least you have to do is maintain that progress. If, however, you have regressed, then you have an opportunity to step in the right direction, you have an opportunity to move forward, to strive to achieve more!

VOICES

Sounds, and in particular, tones of voice can influence emotions and actions. They too create ‘pictures’
within the mind and can influence change. When talking about words that are spoken or sung, sound has just as much effect on you as any written word would do. In order to get your message across, you need to use the right tone of voice. You need to use the tone of voice which would best influence and/or evoke the
response you wish to receive, from the person you’re talking to. If someone were to speak to you, using hurtful, angry words combined with a tone of voice to match, your natural response would be to retaliate, to become defensive. Ultimately, you would respond in the same way you are spoken to. We can naturally assume that the opposite would apply to kind, gentle words and tone of voice.

THE END

“My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.”

- Elaine Maxwell

LOVE AND DEATH

“What time the mighty moon was gathering light
Love paced the thymy plots of Paradise,
And all about him roll’d his lustrous eyes;
When, turning round a cassia, full in view,
Death, walking all alone beneath a yew,
And talking to himself, first met his sight:
‘You must begone,’ said Death, ‘these walks are mine.’
Love wept and spread his sheeny vans for flight;
Yet ere he parted said, ‘This hour is thine;
Thou art the shadow of life, and as the tree
Stands in the sun and shadows all beneath,
So in the light of great eternity
Life eminent creates the shade of death;
The shadow passeth when the tree shall fall,
But I shall reign for ever over all.”

- Alfred Lord Tennyson

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness, for me, is not found in material things. Those things are of very little value. Things like owning the latest toy or gadget, collecting designer clothes or accumulating great financial wealth; do not matter to me. Some people spend their entire lives looking for ‘happiness’, usually, in the wrong places. I am one of the lucky few who has found it sooner, and in one of the most unlikely of places. Within myself!

Happiness, to me, is giving. I’m never happier than when I’m giving. There is nothing that can compare, to the gift of giving, in my opinion. There is nothing simpler, more enriching and more fulfilling. It is my purpose. It’s the reason I wake up everyday, looking forward.

…I think of myself as a vase of flowers, which is and never will be empty. I try to give everyone and everything I meet a flower from my vase. To give of myself in some way, to someone or something in need of attention, everyday! I can guarantee that I don’t or won’t always receive a flower in return, after all not everyone stops to smell the roses. But, when I do receive one in return, it is worth more to me than anything else! If I were to never receive a ‘flower’ in return for the ones I give, I wouldn’t care. At the end of the day giving, to me, is more important than receiving. I love doing it, simply because it makes me feel good, to see that I have achieved something. To see that I have made someone’s day ‘brighter’ because of it!

...I see myself, as a cracked pot, used for fetching water, carried by none other, than ‘the BIG man upstairs’. Yes, I leak. Yes, I could probably only do half the jobs a non-cracked pot would or could. Yes, I make mistakes. Yes, I have flaws, everyone does. That ‘BIG man’ knows this, and even though I may only be able to do half as much as a non-cracked pot, I could have something else to offer, to compensate for this flaw. I could be watering the flowers that grow along the path, as I’m carried along, slowly leaking.

I am my own person, a unique and beautiful individual, who will purposefully, go against the grain of what today’s society dictates, represents or suggests. This is not to say that I’m rebellious by nature. I do this because I think and believe it to be the right thing to do.

As Tennyson’s poem suggests, this is the ‘death’ of my book. But, it isn’t ‘the end’. Whatever is left goes on, lives on. The ‘fruit’ of my labour will remain with you who have read this. My words, I hope, will grow and flourish within you and those, you share them with.

I sincerely hope that by writing this, I have accomplished what I set out to do at the start; which was to stimulate your minds. I wanted to plant a seed, of a different kind. This book was designed to make you, the people who view it, think deeper; to see something that you might not have thought of or seen before. Life is never just black and white, no matter how much we may want or wish it to be. It only seems natural, fitting, to apply the same concept to my work.

I hope you have enjoyed this ‘flower’ I picked from my vase; this little piece of me I wanted you to see.

I hope that I have watered you; the flowers that grow along the path, my path.

DEDICATION

“To give love,
To experience love,
Is to be rich in the joys that give colour to each day
And significance to each detail of our lives.
To share a love is to know the fullest meaning of what happiness can be.”

- Unknown

THE KEY

A long time ago I had a key;
A key to my heart, a key to me;
I locked the door and built a wall;
Closing myself off for ever more.

I entrusted that key;
To He who is greater than me;
Asking Him to find and give it to a person;
The person most worthy of me.

He found that person;
Thy key was given to thee.
You my dear friend, opened my heart;
You opened me.

That key;
The key to my heart, the key to me;
Is yours my dear friend;
And forever will be.

- My words.

I am a person who prefers giving less ‘traditional’ gifts. Anyone can go to the mall and buy a gift. Not many people will take the time or make the effort to give something truly special. That’s not to say that traditional gifts are any less special; it’s just that I like giving gifts of a different kind. I like giving something that’ll mean a lot more to the person or people receiving my gifts.

I dedicate this book to a very dear and special friend who helped me find myself.
A friend who helped me find and free my voice!
This person through her words, changed how I view myself. She changed my previous opinions, of nothingness and utter worthlessness, to the complete opposite. This person is the only one able to get through to me; to show me that it’s ok to share all I am and have to give with others. This book wouldn’t have expressed so many extremely personal thoughts, feelings and ideas (most of which I have never shared with anyone else before), if it were not for this person.

You my friend, have given me so much. I couldn’t even begin to express just how much and what! You have given me a truly special gift! A gift I will always treasure!

You fill my vase past full!
THANK YOU!

It’s to you my special friend that I give these few heartfelt words; my words! They are my gift to you! I will always love and remember you!! You will forever stay with me!!

‘Till we meet again
Yours, always and forever!
Chris [Xmas]