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In This Moment, Conspiracy Parable

To cut overhead, NASA replaced liquid bread with cat jerky. The hormone-and-preservative-injected jerky caused widespread lactation among the crew. NASA collected, pasteurized, and eventually marketed this astronaut milk to the public.Astronaut milk caught on: Nightclubs served astronaut-milk-and-vodkas. Kids enjoyed Astro-brand nipplesicles. A European scientist soon discovered a bizarre bacterium in the milk. The public panicked.NASA sent cows into space. Some civilians complained: Is NASA committing a logical fallacy?NASA had these civilians locked up in the Unpleasantly Moist Area (UMA) or killed (primarily the latter).The space cows stopped lactating. They refused to eat cat jerky, hormone-injected or otherwise. European cows went mysteriously missing. Everyone stopped drinking milk, except at NASA. Where did their space milk come from, if not from astronauts?We had to haul an old heifer named Marie Antoinette out behind the big red space-shed and shoot her in the stomachs. She didn’t go down easy. We shot her freeze-dried stomach-detritus into space. You know, for the other cows, them space cows. As a warning.NASA called us in and we went happily. All of me saw the big red floating off into the sun. Everyone died violently, crumbling into milk…

In This Moment, Conspiracy Parable

wythe

Joined December 2007

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To cut overhead, NASA replaced liquid bread with cat jerky. The hormone-and-preservative-injected jerky caused widespread lactation among the crew. NASA collected, pasteurized, and eventually marketed this astronaut milk to the public.

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