Pit Bull
A tale about a no-eared bird catching Pit Bull.
Pit Bull belongs to the following groups:
Twisted TalesI was afraid of my own dog. I watch television. I knew all about them. My Pit Bull pup was getting big and still dumber than a stick.
I never wanted a so-called fighting dog, but she’d been rescued; some teenagers had her; apparently they figured she’d be better suited for a life of combat without ears. They chopped her ears off right at the skull; it was a hack job. That no-eared Pit Bull was the God awful ugliest dog I’d ever seen.
What scared me about her was her monstrous strength. Though only forty pounds, she could spring at least five times her own height. That bulldog would jump and hang from my grand kids’ tire swing; she would chew as she shook it— and every muscle from the top of her head to the tip of her tail would ripple.
I knew I had to get rid of her.
One morning I saw her leap and catch a bird. I couldn’t believe it. I was furious. I got dressed and went out there. I didn’t think or I’d have taken a gun.
“Drop it!” I shouted.
She didn’t want to.
I shook her neck. “Drop it, damn you!”
Her mouth opened and the little bird’s carcass tumbled down into the grass.
“That’s it!” I told her, but just then the bird looked at me. It shook its ruffled feathers and flew away.
Dogness stayed twelve years.
Alison Pearce
Interesting story with an unusual twist. Is Dogness the pit bull’s name? That part was a little confusing for me though I did enjoy the way you told the story. You set the scene nicely with a sense of fear and trepidation. I can be a bit dense with endings sometimes, so I’ll be interested in what the other writers have to say.
Bob Fox replied
Thank you for reading my story, Alison! I made up the word ‘dogness’ and used it in this story. Now that you mention it though, if I ever have another dog, Dogness might be a good name!
Miri
isn’t it awful what people do to dogs – cutting off her ears – just awful.
good story tho & like that it’s true :-), & like that she stayed in the end given the rage that was building up through the piece
Bob Fox replied
Sorry, I said ‘true tail’. I was trying to be punny. For a more detailed confession, please read my commnent to DBA Lehane.
Thank you for reading, and thank you for commenting. I’m glad that you liked my twisted tail.
PS— that no-eared dawg did get to live out its days on a farm I once had.
DBALehane
Hmmm…excellenty written and it certainly held my attention to the end. Not sure if there is enough of a twist for me, but that’s purely subjective on my part – others may think and feel differently. The main problem I have is that you have told us this is a true tale. Strictly speaking the Twisted Tales group is for fictional writing (when signing up you do agree to rule 5 of “strictly no non-fiction”) so regrettably I can’t accept it in the group or the challenge. Please feel free to delete this comment if you wish.
)
Bob Fox replied
Delete your comment? Hell no. I love honest feedback!
This story is fiction. It has elements that are based on truth, but isn’t there some element of truth in all fiction? And isn’t some of the best fiction based on a true story? Because we don’t know which is truth and which isn’t, we more readily believe it all.
Yes, I knew of a dog that had its ears cut off by teenagers. I knew a dog that lived to be 12, but it wasn’t the dog that had its ears amputated. I knew a pit bull that liked playing with tires and bowling balls, but I’m not a grandfather. I never saw a dog catch a bird— but I needed that element to qualify for the contest. I did have a dog with something in its mouth once, and when I told her to drop it, a bird flew away, but I didn’t have to slug it or even threaten it.
My description of this story isn’t non-fiction, it is a blatant attempt to enhance verisimilitude. Perhaps there should be a rule against that (maybe there is). And I didn’t say it was a true tale, I said it was a true tail— I was trying to be punny and you missed it.
I noticed in a previous contest that Wandering Author revised an entry more than once and it was still accepted into the competition. I would like to ask that you allow me the same latitude and let me edit my description so as to be in compliance with ‘rule 5’ (if it’s not already).
Lastly, you commented that you aren’t sure this story has enough of a twist for your liking. The story has 3 twists. To which are you referring? The first finger pointing was that the dog was violent. The second finger pointing was that the dog had to be gotten rid of. The carcass falling from the dog’s mouth was a red herring. Must the twist be in the last sentence? I agree that some might view the dog staying for 12 years as a twist, and others might only see it as a kicker.
DBALehane
Thanks for explaining a number of points Bob. If you are saying this is fictional, then by all means repost – as I’ve said to you, I perhaps misunderstood your description about it being a “true twisted tale”.
I guess twists are always subjective and I wouldn’t worry what one person says. I’m still not sure, despite your explanation, where these twists still are.
We start off from the first line knowing the dog is violent. It stays violent through the story. And the ending only suggests the owner keeps him. Not sure where the twist is here?
The narrator implying he has to get rid of a dog but then deciding to keep him is debatable as to whether this is just a plot point, character development or a genuine twist. For me personal I’d say it was the first two but still don’t think it was a twist for me.
The carcass falling and the bir being alive, okay, could be argued to be a twist by some…but I would have preferred the fact he had the bird in his mouth much earlier on to make this more dramatic.
The last line simply shows a conclusion for me, rather than a genuine twist. But as I say, that’s just how I see it. I’m not saying I’m right, just explaining my view as an individual reader.
Bob Fox replied
The first quick little twist of the bird still being alive was also a resurrection; the bird twist was meant to infer the dog wasn’t mean— a twist on what most folks think about the breed; and because it wasn’t mean, it became loved instead of feared. I think these are big twists, though perhaps presented on the subtle side.
Maybe I can think of a way to punch it up a little. I wrote it in an hour yesterday. Thought about sitting on it, then decided it might be more fun to get some feedback— and I have and it is much appreciated!
Thanx!
GarBut
Well, this is threatening to become more controversial than pit bulls themselves…
Robert, a suggestion:
Change, “A true twisted tail about a bird catching Pit Bull” to “A TRULY twisted tail about a bird catching Pit Bull”. Simple fact of the matter is that the Cormac McCarthy-esque argot, well, it just don’t carry through in a sidebar comment to a 250-word story, I’m sure we can all agree on that. Which also explains why a number of us were kindly-
McCarthy for ‘kind of’-confused by your ‘Dogness’ neologism.My opinion, and it’s just one person’s opinion: the ‘big’ twist, being that the narrator ultimately kept the dog despite having sworn straight off the top to divest himself, is not a twist so much as a turnaround.
It is an entertaining and thought-provoking story. It will be interesting to see how you proceed from here.
Bob Fox replied
Thank you for the thoughts! I considered ‘truly’; I believe grammatically it is more correct, but it seemed presumptive of me.
Wow. Any connection between my writing Cormac McCarthy— even if it’s just criticism, is somehow flattering. I do appreciate the scrutiny.
I have perhaps been overly ambitious in my attempt to create a 3 twist ending in only 250 words; I have a swing for the fences personality Ç;-)
I think where I’m failing is that the twist wasn’t intended to be the turn around of the narrator deciding to keep the dog, but that the dog went from unwanted to loved. I tried to infer the narrator’s sudden change of heart by saving ‘Dogness’ for the last line.
Luckily, rewriting is where the fun is. Thanx again!
Outdoors2
I had a German Shorthaired Pointer that would get pissed when we failed to sport Pheasant. He would then “catch” the birds and drop them at our feet!
Absolutely a True Tail !
As for your story, Robert
With so many varied and controversial comments, I think this would substantiate a revision perhaps?
But then again, This is just another view.
Bob Fox replied
Revision is always on the table! And I will revise as I think of something better. Actually, I’ve already tweeked it a little. The feedback of others is very helpful as it shows me how I’m coming across and if the piece is meeting my goals.
Thanx for helping make it fun!
juice
hey…twists are complicated…but…to my brain on reading you have written really well a story..where in the beginning the owner was going to get rid of the dog in no uncertain terms…and then right at the end…he was convinced and kept him for a further 12 years …so that is indeed a twist…a real lifesaver for the dog…thank goodness for the bird…so everyone wins..what an amazing twist in life
Bob Fox replied
Thank you, Jewels. I appreciate you giving my story some thought! And I’m delighted that you enjoyed it.
Zolton
Wow. You’ve got the longest comments. The story is heart warming. Maybe a bigger twist for this would have been to have the dog be afraid of a baby bunny. Ha ha. I am certainly glad that the bird lived so that the dog could live. : )
Bob Fox replied
I wanted to get a child into the story, but the kids’ swing was all I had room for Ç;-) Thanx much for reading and commenting.
Sabbath
Animal cruelty sucks ! well written
Bob Fox replied
I think all cruelty sucks. Glad you feel this piece is well written!
So, do you have an opinion? Is it a turn around or a twist? Is there a difference between a turn around and a twist? Best regards, BobFox
Damian
Good one. Twist or turn? I’d say twist, although a gentle one. The realisation that this horrid, strong brute of an ugly dog was gentle enough to catch a bird from the air without harm was where I’d seen the twist, and its extended life as a repercussion of that twist. Just another opinion :)
And I own a husky, and to my amazement I watched this big lunk of a dog get down and stalk a bird until it flew off, then it leapt up an snapped it out of the air. But the bird was well and truely destroyed, LOL! Huskies are graceful, sure. But that was something else!
Bob Fox replied
Damian, thanx for reading and sharing some thoughts. I enjoyed your comments about your dog!
Sabbath
Hmm my opinion is that its great. I like it, the twist was unseen and it gives the audience a sense of truth
Bob Fox replied
Thanx Sabbath. I appreciate your thoughts!
WanderingAuthor
I enjoyed this. It was well written, and I could see the narrator’s building feelings of fear and hostility – then he discovered she wasn’t as violent as he’d imagined, and his feelings changed. That one instant, when his perceptions shifted, that was an excellent bit of imagery.
Bob Fox replied
I appreciate you reading this and taking the time to share some thoughts! You caught the twist as it was intended. Do you have a dog too?
George Yesthal
Great story. I really like when people write from personal experiences. My daughter has a mastiff that was rescued. The previous owner did the same thing to her ears. Isn’t it odd how we humans view such acts as our special right. We are hands down the most arrogant organisms on the planet. Our gift of self awareness became the bane of all other species. Good job on this
Bob Fox replied
That’s a heavy comment! And I agree. The activities of our species is like a cancer on the biosphere eating away at life.
I did know a dog that had it’s ears chopped off. I am disturbed about what happened to that sweet little dog, not just because of the cruelty, but because the people that hurt that dog did what they did precisely because they liked it.
George Yesthal
Just read your explanation that this is fiction. Still a good read though. I think the fact that it comes off as fact is sort of an acid test of it’s worth. Again, good job.
Bob Fox replied
Nearly all the elements of this story were drawn from my real life, it just wasn’t all the same dog or same time. And I’m glad that so many folks have felt an empathy for the dog characterized in this story.
Jen Wahl
I had mixed feelings about the dog in the beginning. Living in a city and around surrounding cities that have banned ownership of pit-bulls…and, having seen a little puppy who had it’s ears ripped off by a pit-bull…. I felt both incredibly compassionate, yet, still fearful of her. Interesting feelings to have at the same time. I really enjoyed this piece. Sometimes the irony of life is enough of a twist to keep us all spinning. ;D
On another note, I too, thought there was no revising after entering a contest… which is why I have not taken steps to correct my own entry!
Bob Fox replied
Thanx Jen for your thoughts and feelings! I do know that dogs aren’t born mean, not even Pit Bulls— that someone must encourage that behavior. At about a year in age, dogs become naturally more aware and protective. If someone encourages a puppy to be protective, then at that stage it turns mean.
Natella2020
I liked this tale. The ending was really cool, a shift in our expectations
Bob Fox replied
Thank you. I had a Pit Bull once and really expected the worse, but was quite surprised; when it wasn’t playing, it was among the most gentle dogs I’ve known.