2000 DC
The scientific method does not bestow the wisdom to manage our sciences.
Beaming through vaulted portals
Robots swarm swooshing gates;
They stir an inner oasis scurrying
From tarmac to sanctum,
Touching down in a speechless space
Sensor to sensor in a senseless stare.
Hushed transporters rush
The lightly lit labyrinth streaking
The sum of all foundation:
Inborns in an ivory night;
Amnesiacs transfixed.
The rift yawns.
The engorged guzzle at the gulf—
Technocrisps—
...withering the splendid orb.
Outdoors2
Good to be King!
“Inborns in an ivory night” As they all are, subservients wishing to be front page.
Very graphic outlook, thanks
Bob Fox replied
Thank you for giving my work such deep consideration!
Reiana
I like really like the first 6 lines.
I think it would help if you broke the poem up after that into 3 separate stanzas. It would give greater impact to each one of them and be easier for the image you’re creating be easier to understand.
2nd stanza ending after ’ great divide yawning.’
In the middle section I got a ltitle bit lost with your meaning, but the last few lines were great – plenty of punch.
Bob Fox replied
I think we are a species with amnesia. If we can go from oil lamps to laser beams, horses to the moon in 100 years, likely something else pretty big has happened during the last 100,000 years.
Ever ride the Metro in DC? The folks sitting across from you pretty much run to world these days. That ‘sums’ it up.
I like your thoughts. And I like the way you directed your thinking to helping me express myself better! Much appreciated!
Alix Purcell
Technocrisps—
Subjugating a World
…and unwilling to save it.
What a fantastic ending! – A
Bob Fox replied
Thanx for reading and commenting!
I think I made that word up: Technocrisps.
George Yesthal
Wow! I really like this, and I generally don’t much care for poetry. Is that an odd thing for a writer to say? Just never been a big fan. I do, however really really like this. Great job.
Bob Fox replied
I have an interest in poetry because I want to learn to make my narratives more poetic. It is an excellent device for adding another layer to a story without being blatant.
I understand poetry to be a crafting of metaphors. Like you, I don’t usually care much for poetry— especially contemporary poetry— mostly because I don’t get it. And it doesn’t help me to know that a poem was written by a genius if the symbolism is beyond my reach.
Anyway, I very much appreciate your comments.
RosaCobos
Tecnocrisps..
the cousins of the Visitors of the Fractalic Worlds…
(Remember?)
Yes…
Creatures coming out of our own despising minds..
to the flesh that cannot contain…
the virtues and the defects…
of human and in-humanities.
Enclosed in their carcasses of silicium, incandescent..
ivory nails , and teeth… imitation of the animals,
hidden stories of the old prosecutions,
on the tender souls that beleived,
in an unendless segregation,
of the organics..
from those…
crystalizing elements,
of a vast orb plenty of Universes.
A huge monolith,
epithoming the rational,
a huge black corridor,
epithoming the chaos of Life.
Rosa… (so now I understand…..good… so good Bob….thank you)