Hummingbirds singing just outside of Ava’s window. She woke early as the sun was rising, she was feeling slightly queasy but not like she was going to be sick. She didn’t eat dinner, though she though half a snickers bar would satisfy her cravings. She slept in her clothes from the day before. Her mother eventually calmed down enough to murmur a soft and sorrowful ‘sorry’ into her door.
It was a new day, though Ava was feeling like crap, her belly had started to show, her jeans were starting to get a little snug and though she had opted to give birth, an abortion was not something she believed in. But though things seemed a little less complicated in the broad day light, she knew the only way she was ever going to be able to get through everything, to know which direction she should take was to be on her own.
Ava stripped off her day worn clothes and dressed in a long maxi dress that flowed as she swayed, you could’nt see any sign of a baby bump. She combed back her long hair into a messy ponytail and put on some eyeliner and lipgloss.
She found her small suitcase and began filing it up with clothes, toiletries and treasured photos along with other bits and pieces.
She felt a sudden rush of guilt. To leave her family behind, her mother and sister, but for Ava to anticipate to move forward, a fresh start, she would need to do so hopefully on good terms.
Zipping up the suitcase, Ava looked over her room for one last time, clutching in the palm of her hand the keys to what use to be Mitch’s Subaru, his parents giving it to her. She looked over her double bed, her wall filled with juvenile posters of movie stars, she’d grown from used to be and the growing up Ava noticed her maturity. She captured one lance glance of herself in her free standing mirror, looking intently at the girl who posed before her eyes, the image wasn’t of who it was or even at who it used to be, the girl standing and staring back was the image of a woman, the person she was to become.
That image scared Ava just a tad, she wasn’t expecting to feel sad about going away somewhere, anywhere to find herself. She wasn’t as much as running away as she was trying to run to something, to get answers to why she wasn’t going to accept the place offered to by Robbins University. She couldn’t accept it, not after everything that had happened, it was both hers and Mitch’s dream to go to Robbins University together, but now that, that wasn’t going to happen, Ava couldn’t bring herself to live that life.
Without an idea, without a place to go and without much money in the bank, she knew she’d have to eventually settle down somewhere. She didn’t have a set out plan, but there was one thing she knew she had to worry about first, her mother.
Walking out of her bedroom and into the kitchen where Ava saw her mother sitting sipping out of a mug on hot refreshing aroma of coffee. The only thing Ava craved and wasn’t able to drink. Ava sat opposite her mother at the kitchen table. Eyeballing one another, Ava didn’t know how to start a conversation, she didn’t want another argument. Ava felt for sure that her mother would know something was up with her suitcase placed near her in the kitchen.
Hannah didn’t say anything. She saw the suitcase and rose her eyebrows, but she said absolutely nothing.
“So, Mum. I’m going on a road trip” Ava began saying. She kept her cool, though her stomach was feeling so queasy and uneasy.
“So I see” Hannah replied, her face stoic. She looked to the cases and then back to reconnect with Ava.
“I want you to know that it’s not been easy for me, but I need a change of scenery. I’m needing to go somewhere that doesn’t keep reminding me of Mitch. I’m hoping you’ll understand” Ava said trying to fight back tears.
She was hoping so much for her mother to understand the torture she was living with everyday.
“Go, Just go Ava. I’m sick of you making everything about him. Mitch is dead. He’s been dead now for a good five months, time to get over it. You have a baby growing and that’s what you should be thinking about. But go. Leave. Only come back when you’ve dealt with everything” Hannah stated, she was upset and slightly angry.
Ava couldn’t believe how her mother was reacting and how bitter her harsh words were towards her.
In that moment, Ava stood up collected her suitcase and walked towards the door.
“Good-bye Mother” were Ava’s last words said to her mother.
She walked outside, placed her suitcase in the car boot, then walked around and into the car. She sat there and began to cry. Texting Tyler that she’d be there in ten minutes. She fastened her seatbelt, put the silver key in the ignition and drove for the last time down the asphalt driveway.
Ava didn’t look back.