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The Sentence

If this part of my life is a sentence then its done, its over – the time has been served.

When I leave I will not take tiles, the paint on the walls, the births, the time.

I will walk and leave a lot behind.

But I take with me the essence of who I am I will always retain me.

You can whittle away, scrape away, swipe and try to marr me…

perhaps this is because never really relished all of me.

Loved? Tolerated – humiliated.

The compromise has run its course.


Don’t look into my eyes

Don’t take all I have left

Don’t rob me of the only truly valuable thing I posses

Don’t say you wont leave me

Don’t steal from me and then tell me it’s a gift

Don’t tell me you fuel me when I am left so hollow and empty

Don’t tell me you love me

Let me return to my original shape

Let me fill the space I used to fill

Let me find the happiness that I used to find within me

Let me be

Let me breathe again

Stop being selfish and just

let me be.

Gambling : Playing with Yourself

Ever play a game,

get taken in by the tease?

Think you are strong enough the play the game?

Gain confidence,

enjoy the ride,

feel the pleasure from the highs.

You take stake your claims,

aim higher than high.

You win you win,

then suddenly a loss.

All chips are gone

high and dry

never saw that coming

stupefied, so dumb to play with the

emotions of our own lives.

The Barrier to Fitness

Climbing the stairs to the gym she really wondered if a personal trainer was the ideal way to go….she hated being told what to do at the best of times.…

At least it was with a female instructor….a wise and practical move.
Thinking like a man was not always favorable for an unassuming woman like herself and the gym full of its heady scent and flesh was no time for it to become apparent. Daggy tracksuit, fresh faced – lets just get on with it.

With her toes at full tilt keeping the clipboard steady, she filled in the details of the form and was tempted to write in the section ‘What are you most hoping to achieve?’ I feel like cock today sighed and maintained her composure smiling to herself a little.

“Ready?” a smooth voice and outstretched hand jolted her back into reality…“Cassie is not c


It was a small thread……

she knew she shouldn’t but slowly she began to pull at it…

she felt the tug of the skin..winching from the sting only made her even more determined.

He had managed to weave himself into her skin…
He had become part of the fabric of her being…..

at first the garment could be worn at will folded then tucked neatly away,

but now…

during sleep, while awake, the garment pulled and pinched and was no longer comfortable or able to removed with ease,

there was no relief.

Never naked never free, bound and uncomfortable, the small slips beneath the skin were untraceable at first, the needle was finely honed as he practiced his deft skill…

small stitches at first light and kind, quick and nimble it took hold before she quite knew..

It has to come off…..she knew the consequence

I Do Not Want This Book

I do not want this book..

the pages are torn and stained.

I do not want this book with images of me

wrong from the beginning.

I want the other one, the predictable plot

the well paced expansive tale.

I do not want this book rancid from years of misspent tears

tattered and mauled.

This book has bibs and buttons and hair and flesh and pain

this book was wrong from the start.

I do not want this book of multi generational dysfunction planting me squarely

in the quandary of it.

I want the nice one, the happy one the one with pay off and reward.

I want another book this one has my name all over it I do not want this one.

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