The new OMD EM1 setting new standard
The new OMD EM1 setting new standard
Puns for Educated Minds
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from
too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arro…
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.
The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?’
She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’
The Father asked, ‘And be there any wee little ones yet?’
She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’
The Father said, ‘Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a fertility candle for ye and yer hoosband.’
She replied, ‘Oh, thank ye, Father…’
They then parted ways..
Some years later they met again. The Father asked, ‘Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?’
She replied, ‘Oh, very well, Fat…
BEST AUSSIE PICK UP LINE EVER:
An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman..
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, ‘Is your date running late?’
‘No’, he replies,‘I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..’
The intrigued woman says, ‘a state-of-the-art watch?
’’What’s so special about it?’
The Aussie explains, ‘It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.’
The lady says, ’What’s it telling you now?’
Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.’
The woman giggles and replies
‘Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!’
The Aussie s…
THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A RUGBY FINAL..
THREE MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND..
BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW,
THE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY’D
GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA…
SO IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID,
“I THINK I’M GOING TO MOVE TO SYDNEY … THERE ARE ONLY
100 NUNS LIVING THERE..”
THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID,
“I WANT TO GO TO TASMANIA … THERE ARE ONLY 50 NUNS
THE THIRD GUY SAID, “I WANT TO GO TO NEW ZEALAND … THERE
ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE…”
JUST THEN THE ONE NUN TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE
MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET AND CALM VOICE SAID,
“WHY DON’T YOU GO TO HELL ..
THERE AREN’T ANY NUNS THERE…
5 Minute Management Course
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg…
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you…
Going “green” – in the old days
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for theenvironment.
The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days.” The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment f or future generations.”
She was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they …
Chinese Hotel Hospitality
China have been trying to push international tourism to greater heights. The government has asked all hotels, tourist guides and restaurants to provide all best possible services and proper guidance
to tourists in English. The hotels have surely adopted an aggressive approach to attracting and guiding tourists; Example:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The hotel bus runs along the lake and you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know the hotel is near, because you will go
round the bend. As you come into the hotel, our beautiful manager will offer welcome drinks and then have intercourse with all new guests.
This is a family hotel, so adultery and children are welcome. Nurses are available in…
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
• A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr
• “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill
• “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow
• “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
• “Thank you for sendin…
Finding Your Photographic Passion
One of the most common pieces of advice any professional photographer will give you is, “shoot what you love.” This may sound strange but, when you are first starting out in photography you may not know what you love. How could you NOT know what you love? If you love birds, you shoot birds; if you love people, you shoot people, right? In the photographic world things aren’t always that simple and they aren’t always what they seem to be. So, how do figure out what you love to shoot?
At this point you would expect a step-by-step guide on how to discover your passion. Instead, I’m going to tell you a story about how I found my photographic passion.
When I made my transition from film to photography I wasn’t sure what I wan…