My Name (Part 2)

They say the mind is fragile, I say the mind is too busy contemplating and calculating that the fragile nature is a constant state…always changing, always fearing suggestion, knowing that the fragility of the delicate mind may be persuaded to look again, and see life through the eyes of someone else…be it someone else or themselves…or the other self…this is why we truly do not know who we are. Stubbornness says we are who we say we are, so sure of yourself, all wrapped up in that little bundle of illusion…

Okay, I may be speaking out of anger, taking the belt on everyone else, tarnishing us all with the same brush…but I do not want to be alone…everything has fell through the embrace, the strong man embrace of which I held all so close…smothered, suffocated, raping the air from their lungs, holding them so close, so tight, I hear them, pleading…”Please…Lee…daddy, let us go”…”your hurting us”…”I’m not hurting you, I’m just afraid of loosing you…please…please…stay with me…!!”… please stay…

Another memory…made this time, created in the event I ever see them again, ever smell them in my arms, their hair against my face…now I only feel the tears that cascade down my cheeks, and drip onto my arms, I try to lick them, inhaling deep to catch them from the corner of my mouth, tasting the salt of my sorrow, my loss, my pain…It almost feels like I’m crying in a dream, and when I awake, the confusion will be realised…

Realised, realisation, to have knowledge, an understanding when there was none before…Is this what it means? Is this the definition of the insanity of knowledge?…I awoke today with this…and my realisation, has not yet been realised…my heart has felt the pain of this knowledge, each word, to sentence, to explaining eye of the knowledge holder, the story giver, the fucker…the person who grabbed my heart and ripped it from my chest, without thinking, no thought of the consequence of my pain, my suffering…”Fucking Satan!!”…”Motherfuckers, will burn for this…why…please why…just fucking tell me…what have I done, why am I here…Where are my fucking kids!!!”…”No more lies!”…”Open this fucking door, with the truth…just…no more…”…no more fucking lies, is all I wanted, all I requested from demonic “Lightbringer‘s”, just the simple truth…if this had all been a lie, surly it’s all I deserved…

“Spin it faster dad…whow, faster…”…”Dan, look up…look at the clouds”…”Baby, he’s gonna be so fucking dizzy when he comes of this…ha, ha…Dan keep looking up”…”Lee, it looks like his head’s going to roll of his shoulders…”…”Right Dan, go…run to the slide…”…”Ahhh, I can’t, I can’t, whooow…eh…dad…my tummy’s sore…go again, ha, ha, ha, I think he’s becoming immune to this baby…”…

Memories with tears, dropping onto the floor, each laughing face…her perfect smile as she sat there with only one month to birth…she looked so beautiful…unforgettable, now unattainable to ever set my lips upon hers…each memory hit’s the floor as I hold my head in my hands, some tears reaching down my arms, to be absorbed into jeans…each memory leaving…as I try to catch them in my hands…

“Mr Collins, please…you have to listen to us…”…”you have to calm down, and just sit still…”…”You have been brought here, for your own safety, your neighbours and family were worried about you…”…”Mr Collins? Gary, could come over here please?”…”Mr Collins…do you recognise this man?”…
…”Yes…my brother…Gary”…”What the fuck are these guys talking about Gary, explain to them…or I swear to fuck, I will kill them!!”…
“Mr Collins…please listen…this is not your brother…he is your psychiatrist…Gary, please?”…
“Lee, he’s right…you have to understand…God, I thought you knew this…Doctor Bradley, I had no idea…I thought he just had life’s ups and down’s, I believed he had a family, he spoke so genuine about them, with so much love…I…”…
…”It’s okay Mr Wright, I want you to stay as his psychiatrist, he already has that connection with you…”

I never saw this coming, my knowledge, my pain, my suffering…my lie…now I’m left with memories that pour down my face…are they even fucking real, is anything fucking real, my life as I perceived to be as so fucking real…fuck…fuck…FUCKKK!!!!!…

My Name (Part 2)

WolfSoul

Joined July 2010

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Artist's Description

The end piece for the story…done, I’m tired..bed now, lol

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