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A Cordite Mistake [poem]

What is a mistake?
Is it a bullet in the brain?
Certain, final, absolute
Is it warmth at night,
with a body not yours?
Is it waking in the morning,
and remembering the before?
Is it pain, from a moments thoughtless power?
To pay forever, on and on?
Is it leaving when you realise
you should have stayed?
What happens in the multitudes of now?
Are some of the me happy, in the
bubble of their own beautiful universe?
Mocking and beguiling me,
for from where I lie,
with the bullet in my brain
Now is forever and gone forever on
I die the death of the self murdered
Those with the bravery and cowardice
To push the barrel between our
teeth, and watch our own finger
finish the mistake

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