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To Want

I wanted to write about how dark my past has been. I wanted to but didn’t know how or what to say, for so dark and alone I felt at the lowest points.

I wanted to express what the knife in my throat felt like. I wanted to but didn’t know what damage pulling it out would cause.

I wanted to give back something that had been dealt to me. I wanted to but didn’t because that isn’t me.

I wanted to be someone else just for a short time to recall the senses we take for granted. I wanted to but didn’t and let self preservation keep me alive.

I wanted to go into the darkest place that called me every minute hour day. I wanted to but didn’t. Instead I circled the cusp and remembered a lifetime before.

I wanted to. But didn’t.

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  • mindym306
    mindym306almost 4 years ago


  • thnx for reading x

    – John Nelson

  • Rosalie Dale
    Rosalie Dalealmost 4 years ago

    I found this compelling John – not only well written, but a topic most of us can relate to. Thank you for being honest and making yourself vulnerable. Hugs

  • thnx Rosalie, appreciate your words x

    – John Nelson

  • Photo-Bob
    Photo-Bobalmost 4 years ago

    You are not alone

  • thnx

    – John Nelson

  • Photo-Bob
    Photo-Bobalmost 4 years ago

    There is a Friend who is closer than a brother.

  • thnx

    – John Nelson

  • Ann Morgan
    Ann Morganalmost 4 years ago


  • Awesome thanks. Never been featured before with something I’ve written. Appreciate it!

    – John Nelson

  • loderevy
    loderevyalmost 4 years ago

    Who are we indeed. Impressive lines about the choices life makes.

  • Thank you, your words are appreciated

    – John Nelson

  • H Maria Perry
    H Maria Perryalmost 4 years ago


  • thnx Helen x

    – John Nelson

  • Rhinovangogh
    Rhinovangoghalmost 4 years ago


  • :) thnx

    – John Nelson

  • Trace Henham
    Trace Henhamover 3 years ago

    ncely put, well done

  • thnx, i’m glad i wrote this when i did otherwise it would have been lost forever and i didn’t want that!

    – John Nelson

  • gary roberts
    gary robertsover 3 years ago

    congratulations on your well-deserved feature!

  • thanks very much!

    – John Nelson

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