ventilator

hairless alabaster skin
scored by pinpricks and stitch marks
translucent in its venous frame
mannequin like

antiseptic fills my nose
my ears the sucking sounds of Darth Vader
breathing your breath
instead of you

I whisper you stories
without an end
hoping the anticipation
will keep you hanging, on

I massage your feet
lovingly
because there’s nothing
I can do

I spread my hands wide
and muster all the energy I have
to bolt healing rays
through your lifeless torso

and I pray
and I pray
and I pray
but God isn’t listening

your green eyes stay sealed
your lips taped to the hose
your feet splayed, like a duck
your slender fingers, still growing nails

and my innocence
is shattered
by your
impending doom…

© wildwomenlove poetry

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at 27 I witnessed my best friend’s slow death in a hospital ICU ward. she was on a ventilator machine, in an induced coma. I can still remember the sound of the machine, the smell of the room, and my overwhelming powerlessness. she was young, I believed she would get through it. I was wrong. It changed my life…

I am well healed now and still this image is burnt into my psyche, along with the sound and the smell. I still love her dearly, and think of her always…IF only my lazer beam hands had worked…

Featured in Red Bubble

Hi there
I write poetry and stories, paint, take photos and make films…I’m learning singing, electric guitar and am at art school…
art is my heart song…wanna sing it with me ?

big love
Sharon
x

© wildwomenlove all works

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Comments

  • blueeyesbec
    blueeyesbecalmost 5 years ago

    This is very good i have prayed in a hospital tryed to make someone better by sheer will this is a great piece i really felt it thanks

  • thanks heaps. you know then, you know…

    – wildwomenlove

  • madvlad
    madvladalmost 5 years ago

    every thing comes to a end,live in sunshine – the nighs comes too soon

  • and for those that feel deeply, endings cut deep. and for those that feel deeply, sunshine melts sleet. and on it goes…

    – wildwomenlove

  • prefabric8
    prefabric8almost 5 years ago

    This is awesome! Dark, nasty, love the reference to Darth Vader and the “Impending doom”. But I dont get a sense of what it is about? Who is the narrator, what is the situation, what is their relationship to it? It just seems like you are venting without thought for form.

  • thanks Shaun. it has no form for you as you haven’t experienced anything like it. ‘we don’t know what we don’t know’, the first person to comment had been there and knew exactly what I was saying. may it always be unformed for you. and thanks for mentioning it, it helped me to consider writing a description for untraveled souls. big love x

    – wildwomenlove

  • PJ Ryan
    PJ Ryanalmost 5 years ago

    so incredibly sad and it pulls on my heart with a cutting thread, beautiful.

  • thanks so much PJ x

    – wildwomenlove

  • wildwomenlove
    wildwomenlovealmost 5 years ago

    thanks for your interest, and your thoughts. and thanks to Red Bubble for featuring this poem. I really appreciate it. big love S x

  • Valentina D
    Valentina Dalmost 5 years ago

    Incredibly moving and well written piece of work evoking deep emotions about a sad truth experienced by too many. A well deserved feature

  • thanks so much valentina x

    – wildwomenlove

  • Mark Ramstead
    Mark Ramsteadalmost 5 years ago

    I could not imagine going through this… so young, till now.

  • I truly hope you never do x

    – wildwomenlove

  • Rex Inkpen
    Rex Inkpenalmost 5 years ago

    beautiful writing indeed, well done.

  • thanks Rex x

    – wildwomenlove

  • Naia
    Naiaalmost 5 years ago

    sometimes there is nothing
    anyone can do. You were there and maybe she knew, but couldn’t tell you.
    You have shared this well. it hurts.

  • thanks Naia I know she knew I was there. coma patients who wake up tell that they heard everything around them, but were unable to move or respond x

    – wildwomenlove

  • prefabric8
    prefabric8almost 5 years ago

    This is an awesome poem. Blew me away. So tight and controlled and your handling of language was brilliant. Very powerful.

  • thanks Shaun. much appreciated x

    – wildwomenlove

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