Everything right now is so amplified…
I hear her voice whispering and hissing at me.
“ You want me, it’s been to long. Come and play with me.
Let me wrap you in my warm embrace.”
I try to ignore her as I walk past the place she hides.
“You need me, you need me tonight.”
I try to drown her voice out.
“You have forgotten me and the power
that I contain.”
I sit at her door crying.
“Take me out, remember me.”
I cry harder, contained by old memories.
“It’s to painful for me.” I tell her.
“Poor girl.’ she hisses
“Poor little girl feeling sorry for herself.”
“Shut up!” I scream back at her with rage.
“We use to be such good friend.” She taunts me.
“I can console you, make you feel better.”
“You will only cause me pain,
a pain that I don’t want to feel.”
She laughs at me from her dark hiding spot.
“That’s why you need me, so you can feel,
feel again alive and connected.”
I walk away from her angry and upset.
“I’ll be here, she says, when you are ready.”
“Do you think you can really fix me?
Do you really think it just that easy?” I’m screaming out.
“You miss the connection, don’t you?
You fear it won’t ever be the same don’t you?
Like it use to be.”
I reach the point of sobbing whole heartedly.
She found me, found my true emotions
Even when she was not in His hands