Can a friend be a lover, as a lover can be a friend?
I guess this is up for debate…..
Can a friend be a lover, as a lover can be a friend? belongs to the following groups:
! Creative Writing & Poetry !, "Poetry and Beautiful Women" , All Out Emotion, Creative Poetry Challenges, Feminine Intent (LIMIT TWO IMAGES PER DAY), Masterpieces: Literary Workshop, Midnight Ramblers, THE SISTERHOOD, The Word Tree, Up & Coming Writers, Who are YOU to Judge? and WMGIt pains me at times that I have deliberated over whether a friend can be a lover
I’ve had lovers who were friends, but we were lovers to begin with
A moment arises and the need of a lover becomes a thirst
Is it fair that you demand more your friend from the picture you drew?
Of sadness and loneliness so that they offer more of them self
If you take their offer, can you turn back the clock, mistakes may slip
For after a friend becomes a lover, your knowledge of each is more intimate
Flicking an emotional switch so that you no longer react as of late
Your friend has gone, your lover is here, and things get more intricate
When the relationship ends it invariably sours, communication is broken
However, if your soul mate is your best friend then as your lover it’s not deliberated
Your soul mate can be your lover; they know the inner you and not the intimate first
They should be able to read you, know your thoughts, and understand you at best
So how do we distinguish between who is a friend and who is a soul mate?
Can the two be defined or do we combine and manipulate
How do we know if a friend can be a lover, as a lover can be a friend?
Or do we confuse the two…..
JRGarland
An endless debate that can only be answered in the doing. Just do what your heart tells you. Great write.
wigs replied
ah but thats the debate as there is no undoing…. but your right the heart should lead otherwise the head confuses matters….thank you for reading and pleased you liked.
Hannah Fenton-...
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WMG
wigs replied
thank you sooooo much
Narcissus17
I like this question you’ve put to the reader. The idea of a selfless friend who supports you, for me, is quite charming, especially when you consider how selfish lovers can be if their love is misguided.
Would being a friend-come-lover ruin that friendship, or atleast change it forever? Isn’t it often the case anyway that chivalrous men will comfort the girl they like when another man has upset her? But perhaps such blokes are weak.
wigs replied
Thank you fror your comments. I think perhaps i agree with you, a male friend of my who recently became single suggested that men think differently, they have needs!!!!...... i did suggest to him that women do to but perhaps we’re more restrained….perhaps we contemplate the outcome of our actions before they take place rather than after???? at least that is how my mind works. Perhaps its not about differentiating between men and women but how different people make decisions…..i don’t necessarily think it would ruin a friendship, but that depends on what happens, is it lasting or not?
veritasunsaid
i wish someone could have answered this for me about 6 months ago!!! i was always afraid to cross the friend to lover boundary; i conquered that fear; and now im dealing with theconsequences!!!
but the thing is; if you truely know someone then the transitional phases may be strange and a little bit rough but always manageable!!
but true love encompasses being soulmates, best friends and lovers all in one!!
thanks for opening up the discussion and love your expression:)
wigs replied
Hi and thanks for your comments…....is there an answer? I suppose that depends on your friend and your relationship, as I guess they are all different….. I’m still at the afraid to cross the friend to lover boundary…for now anyway! Thanks again, wigs
AFogArty
You can choose friends, your given soul mates but lovers are sent to challenge, learn from, make mistakes with, appreciate, discard, re-unite. From this we train our instincts and choose more wisely each time ( or in my case make the same damn mistake again and again, sucker for sexy eyes and great smile ).
Good luck Wigs, tough decision, good write.
wigs replied
yes you’re right, learning each time…. most important lesson, one even I am guilty of missing quite crucially at times…I love eyes and smiles too…. thanks for reading and commenting…
Shoaib .
wigs replied
Thank you sooooo much xxx
Erika .
Interesting, though provoking piece! I’ve asked myself this many times. I think it depends what people like. I always thought that the best way to love someone is by being their friend first. For me friendship is honest and open….and then if there’s love then, well, you know the person enough to accept them as they are.
So how do we distinguish between who is a friend and who is a soul mate?...i think it’s pretty much the same thing. But that’s my opinion based on my limited experience.
But I really like this piece Wigs. Very interesting write. :)
wigs replied
Hi erika, I’m pleased you liked and thank you for your comments.
I do agree with you, friends first, with openess and honsty means there should not be any anxieties, well maybe not…..?? It’s just you won’t know them intimately and that’s where it could all fall down possibly… ot the best thing you ever did??
Jim Hall
some say that these things are predestined. i don’t believe that. I feel that we, as people. will experience what we want most of the time. it’s that other part that causes the tears. there’s an old expression- Cast your fate to the wind. Isn’t that what we do? JH
wigs replied
Hi Jim , apologies for late reply, i seem to miss comments somehow, even though I restricted what i now see to mainly comments….. thank for your comments and ye I guess we shall see what fate casts our way…. thank you again
Shelly Hiebert
Whoa…..makes me really think….and I really don’t know the answer. I think the answer may very well be different for everybody, and that’s ok :) Another wonderful thought provoking write from you Helen. Awesome work :)
wigs replied
Me niether Shelly, think it will just have to be instinct….. thank you again for your comments
happyfeet5
This is thouht provoking. Thing is it is a debate which as you cleverly demonstrated at the last line that will never end. You will actually never know the answer. Very cleverly put and writen. Iris.
wigs replied
Thank you Iris…... I still don’t know the answer, and guess instinct will have to play a big part….
rosabelbelieve
“When the relationship ends it invariably sours, communication is broken”
From my experience, this is not always the case, and I think if you are meant to remain friends, communication is not broken and the relationship is not ended on a sour note. Sometimes it just has to come to an end. Maybe if friends take that knowledge going in, that the sexual side of things might have to be ended at some point. Maybe if that communication is clear up front, then if it does have to end they can readjust. It can’t be the same though. I think it takes two people who are willing to talk through absolutely everything.
“So how do we distinguish between who is a friend and who is a soul mate?
Can the two be defined or do we combine and manipulate”
This depends on your personal belief system
I personally don’t believe we have a single soul mate. I believe we have all kinds of soul mates. Some are lovers, some are family members and some are platonic friends. They don’t have to be in your life forever—some touch us for short periods of time and some for a lifetime. Maybe friends who become lovers and then go back to platonic friends are particular kinds of soul mates, destined to gain a more intimate knowledge of each other, in to teach each other something vital or to learn something vital.
Then again, maybe everything is just random. But I like to believe the former :)
Thought provoking piece wigs :)
wigs
thank you for your comments, you have provoked my thought further, most interestingly…thank you again.
skinnyman
much to think on :))
wigs replied
absolutely….......after all this time I still do not know the answer, maybe only time will tell and a bit of good old instinct…