Bernard, the Smelly Old Bear.

Once upon a time in weepy wood there lived a smelly old bear…

It rained all day and all night. The mud squished between his toes. It was a squishy sound……
To clean his muddy, squishy paws he sloshed through the slooshy puddles with a sloshy sound….
And that was the extent of Bernard the smelly old bear‘s bath. He was smelly and dirty. He was sometimes grumpy, but mostly happy. He was not a big bear but a small bear….and smelly…mustn’t forget he was smelly.

Bernard did not go by Barney or Berny. He liked his name the way it was and had no wish to change it. Bernard was a lovely name for a smelly old bear. He was pleased with his stink. It kept people away from his crumbly cave, which he loved. It was crumbly and to most crummy. To Bernard it was a toasty, comfy cave. Just enough of a cave to block the rain, just enough cluttery clutter to keep him warm. He was near the Gnarly Knotted Oak, in the middle of the weepy wood.

Bernard had no friends to speak of. He was a proud bear with tufty hair, brown and black and stinky. Never forget he was stinky. He slept a sleepy sleep and ate a nifty treat of stinky honey and yummy ants, his favorite nifty treat. He passed his days wandering the Wood in a wily way, always looking for a scratchity scratching tree or a pile of yuckety yuck to roll in to keep his wonderfully awfully wonderful stink.

One day in the weepy wood, Bernard heard a weep. As he moved closer to the weep in the Weepy Wood, he realized it was the weep of a wee one. The wee one was a bashful little white bunny. Bernard peaked at the bunny through the brambly bush. The wee one was weeping with its little white paws covering her little white face. Bernard decided he must help the wee one and so jumped into the brambly bush yelling “Hello!”

The wee on screamed and ran as fast as her wee feet could carry a weeping wee bunny. Bernard watched the wee one run, wondering why she was running. Perhaps the Wee one wanted to play. Bernard ran after her ready for a game of Weeping Wood tag. As he ran he wondered if weeping Wood tag was ever played in the Weeping Wood. As he ran after the wee one, he heard the wee one screaming.

‘What fun we are having’ thought Bernard. Obviously the wee one was having fun too.

Bernard began to scream too…loud to announce to the weeping wood that today was the day for frolic and frivolity.

Fun and friends running and screaming a screamy sound for all to hear.!!

He chased the wee one through brambly brambles and thorny thorns. He chased the wee one thorugh sludgy sludge and muckety muck. He chased the wee one from here to there and back again. Such fun was being had in the Weepy Wood.

The day wore on and Bernard was enjoying the game of Weeping Wood tag, but was getting a bit tired. Finally the wee one stopped, she turned to the smelly old bear and softly sighed.

“Go ahead you mean beasty! Eat me up as a furry snack.”

Bernard looked puzzled and a bit perplexed by this change in the game. He pondered a bit and wondered a while, then laughed a beary loud laugh.

“Silly wee one, I don’t eat bunnies! I eat sticky, stinky honey and sweet creepy crawlies!” again he laughed that beary loud laugh.

“Then why oh why have you been chasing me so. I almost collapsed if you care to know!”

Bernard looked confused and somewhat startled, “weren’t we playing Weepy Wood tag?”
The bunny almost collapsed at this bears silly stance, impossible for a creature to be this silly. But as she watched this bear of great stink, she realized he was not kidding. She laughed with such glee, cause she knew she was free and had now made a friend in the wood.

The two spent the rest of the day wandering every which way, until finally settling in Bernard’s cave. A bunny and bear, they made such a pair! Side by side they sat in the cluttery clutter, until finally the friends fell asleep.

Say bye to the Wood and it’s smelly old bear. Not alone anymore is that bear. If you look really hard, you will see a white ball, a bashful bunny asleep on Benard.

Bernard, the Smelly Old Bear.

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  • Zolton
  • Paul Rees-Jones
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