everything is in such a mess pit of crap..<br> you do the right thing, and not cause trouble<br> you help your friends..<br> and you get railroaded..<br> this is what it feels like..<br>
kids giving you hell..<br> making one question why you sacrificied your life for<br> to be treated with utmost disrespect, lies<br> shitting on your mother..<br> they just might as well kill me off..<br> but oh..no..that would be too easy..<br> make her suffer.. drag it out<br> pile more bricks on her..<br> watch her collapse<br> muffle her cry of help, her tears..<br>
make me think life is getting better<br> then pull the rug out from under me..<br>
no friend has offered their strenght<br> they just keep saying how strong i am<br> but even the strongest cannot run on empty<br>
so friends just listen and empathize<br> how come im always doing more than just emphatizing<br> where is my help when im asking..<br> but they dont hear me..<br> they just tell me their problems..<br> - i shut down.<br>
i turn to strangers.<br> i pick up the phone and dial some number<br> and tell my life of 42years to a stranger and compressed<br> how do you fit all and everything into a 15 minute phonecall..<br>
how does one function when ones brain is screaming for a breakdown?<br> even the strongest oldest oak tree that keeps bending accomodating the weather, uproots when that one final strong wind pushes it, too far.