Ducks pestering NASCAR fans in Bristol

Oh my giddy aunt!!! Way too funny!!!! ROFLMAO!!!! Cant wait to hear michaels response! Legendary shot andy!!! :)

Waterfowl…. well thats an achievement!! lol…

LOL – gotta love it!

LOL Great sense of humor :)

Oh Andy, you caused me a big laugh…..great.
Beautiful capture.

love that Duck!!!

TOO funny!!

Nice one i love it xxxx

Amongst the Thousands of Race Fans, Greg was probably the only unhappy one. Earlier in the day he had a fight with his wife over leaving the toilet seat up. An age old battle between man and woman…...His argument was sound however,

“Why should I have to put the toilet seat up…..and then put it down?” he asked …
“But that means I have to put it down for you….and YOU dont have to put it up for me?”
“Why do YOU get a free ride???”

This relatively minor argument escalated into a full scale war however….when Greg announced he was going to the NASCAR race tonight without her.

“Fine, go then….. see if I GIVE A SHIT” she said….. and added ” You UGLY, NO FRIENDS SON OF A BITCH”
The last comment was meant to ruin his night. And it did.
She had been referring to the fact that Greg had no buddies. Sure he had work collegues down at the DMV, but none of which he classed as friends. He said he didnt care about hanging around with anyone…..said he’d rather be by himself.
But that was a lie…
Secretly, he wished he did have someone to shoot pool and go golfing with. But the fact of the matter is…......he WAS an ugly son of a bitch! And consequently scared the living piss out of anyone he met.

Arriving at the Bristol Motor Speedway still in a foul mood, he purchased his ticket . He had thought of not coming, but then he thought of his wife awaiting him at home with a baseball bat.

The line up for beer was horrendous, a huge sign sat above the counter saying something about shortages because of some kind of infestation. Greg didnt pay a lot of attention to it, his mind was still elsewhere. People were pushing and shoving…. and in some cases, Hitting their way to the front!

After half an hour of scuffling he had a $9.70 beer, a $7.00 hotdog, a black eye and no wallet.

Scowling even more, he made his way up the stands to his seat. Thinking his day wasnt likely to get any worse, he edged his way along the crowds and stopped dead.
A space….barely a foot wide, was visible between two of the fattest Rednecks he had ever seen. Through the folds of the two Michelin Men, a seat number could just be read. Section G, Row C, seat 326.
Checking his ticket, and hoping against hope that it had different details on it, he wasnt suprised to see that it was indeed… his seat.
Recieving grunts of protests from his enormous neighbours, greg prised himself between the flab… and slid into position.
A small squeek….No, that wasnt right….it sounded more like a quack… eminated from his seat when he sat on it. Wondering what made the noise, but unable to move because of his wedged position, he thought no more of it.

Then something strange happened…. The Man sitting in the seat in front of him suddenly stood up and held his drink aloft. Sitting on the rim of his can….was a tiny duck.
The man seemed to be so excited by this fact, that he pulled a camera out a took a photo. Not a camera phone either….but a Nikon D200.
“rich bastard” Greg thought. “look at Mr La Dee Da with his flash camera and his admiring friends”
But it was the duck that puzzled Greg the most….. and then it occured to him… The Sign above the beer vendors stand said something about ducks…..that the ducks were the problem…. that they’d….what was it… hijacked beer trucks or something? At the time Greg paid no attention to it as it seemed like a joke to him.
But now that he looked around….there seemed to be miniature ducks everywhere!
Apart from the crazy photo taking guy, several other people in his vicinity had ducks atop their drinks also.
A small boy was making several ducks walk the plank using a ruler, and one lady seemed to be unaware that several ducke were making a nest in her rather bushy hair.

This was too much for Greg to bear. He thought the entire world must have gone mad. For one insane moment he thought this was his wifes doing….. that somehow she had engineered the duck invasion purely to wreck his night… or his life.

“I hate that Bitch” he thought.
“I hate my life”
“I hate my seat”
“I hope Biffle doesnt win…. what kind of stupid name is Biffle anyway”
“I hate Biffle”
“I hate these Fat Feckers next to me….Wait a minute…....What are they eating!......THEY”RE EATING DUCKS!!....”
And sure enough, the two portly gentlemen both had buckets that they were happily eating what looked to be fried white ducks. On the outside of the Bucket were the initials KFD.

“Thats it” greg thought….
“This is the lowest point of my life”
“Things cant get any worse than this”
“No matter what happens from here on out, it HAS to get better”
“I cant live like this anymore…. always thinking that everythings against me”
“From now on…I’m not gonna let my anger get the better of me”
“I’m gonna always look on the bright side, that way things will always go my way!”
“Yeah!...My wifes not so bad really”

Flicking a duck from the top of his BUD LIGHT, Greg Said in a loud happy voice…
“Here’s to the future…. From now on, things will always be fantastic!” and took a nice long gulp.

The duck had crapped in Greg’s beer.

took me ages to write it too… lol
I watched the Bristol race today on TV… thought I saw you in the crowd for a moment…..LOL
I couldnt believe the amount of people there.

Well, gentleman this is just fantastic! I laughed and laughed…..thanks I needed it!! =]

You guys need to get a life huh? Too cute, adorable idea for an ongoing story!!