Armed and Dangerous (A Valentine’s Poem)

Don’t know about you, but I think it’s stupid
To give lethal weapons to a diapered Cupid
(and what happens when he’s gotta go?)

See his soft feathered wings?
(Those fat little things!)
They flutter fast as he flies to and fro

But as he tries to take aim
To start the Valentine game
He sees the earth rushing up from below

For he keeps sinking down
And hitting the ground
Overburdened by his arrows and bow


He comes to our planet just one day a year
To practice his skills as a shootist
The rest of the time he’s hidden away—
What’s he do in absentia? Be a flutist?

‘Cuz he sure can’t shoot straight, this fat little angel,
Child of eros and chaos and earth
I wonder if Venus had any idea
He’d be so fickle, so playful, perverse

Some of his arrows are gold-tipped,
The tips of the others are lead
And where the gold ones inspire amoré,
The lead ones breed hatred instead


Yes, he’s armed & he’s dangerous,
This chubby fly boy
And he’s out of control in the air

At sweet couples kissing,
He keeps shooting & missing —
Hither & yon, over here, over there

So I say, Watch out for that cherub!
Stay out of his way!
Young lovers, go, take cover now!

Give one another a bear hug
And try to live through this day –
Look, he just hit a tree – Holy Cow!

Like I said, it’s just stupid
To arm this babe, Cupid,
To entrust him with arrows and bow

For while he can fly, he just can’t shoot straight
And I don’t want his hands to be holding my fate
I tell ya, he’s just got to go

Before something happens
And his lead-headed weapons
Accidentally break the heart of my beau

Armed and Dangerous (A Valentine’s Poem)

Rev. Rebecca Guile Hudson

Los Lunas, United States

  • Artist
    Notes

Artist's Description

The Rio Grande Valencia Poets (the Valencia County Chapter of the New Mexico State Poets Society), issued a challenge to its members: Write a Valentine’s poem without using the word, “love”. Well, this is my demented response to that challenge…

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