Closure...

Closure…

The call…that was the worst day of my life so far.
November 8, 2007.…7:45am - I’ll never forget!
The rush of pain, the fulfillment of sorrow, the thoughts of denial.
Not wanting it to be true!
Screaming, Praying, Crying, Screaming, Praying -

It went on and on…

“God Please don’t let this be happening!” is all I could say
On my knees, begging, pleading, crying, screaming, praying—
“Please, please God…we love him!! Please don’t let this be happening.”

Followed with dread -
Dreading going to face my family.
Dreading the look of my gma’s face…
My cousins -
uncles - aunts - my dad - my sister - my kids!
Heartbroken from loosing you!

Tragic…such a tragic, untimely, uncalled for death!
Pain…my heart is still filled with pain!
Lose…we’ll never get over the lose of you.
Your death wasn’t normal due to health issues…
So hurtful - so heartbreaking - a stabbing pain!

Almost a year has gone by…
We still have no answers - no closure - still pain!!

Why?
Why did you leave us that way?
Or did you?
There are so many unanswered questions…
We’ll never know what you were thinking, what truly happened.

Feelings…sometimes I feel like there was foul-play involved.
Was there? We’ll never know…you’re gone!
Questions…remain unanswered.
Only God & you know.

Suicide…hateful - torture - stabbing pain - no answers - all questions!
Hurtful - heartbreaking - mind blowing pain….
Why?

Closure…what is it really?
Does it ever come?
Somehow, someway, one day—
Maybe we’ll have some closure.

For now -
I have very fond memories!
Loving -
joking - caring - kind - playful - memories…
34 yrs worth of them, that I will pass along to my children!
Hold them dear & close to my heart!!

To Rhett…who barely knew you, but would’ve loved you probably more than I did. He’s a hoot just as you were!

To Logan & Kloe who think about you always, and talk of you often!
They have some memories of their own!!
But were robbed of the rest of their lives - even memories - gone in an instant.
Kloe is such a jokester—you’d be so proud! :o)
Maybe she’ll carry on your legacy!

Love…I’ll never stop loving you Uncle Kenneth—never!

RIP….Kenneth Woolsey….November 8, 2007

written: 9-8-08—sp

  • Visual   Inspirations

    Visual Inspi...

    God knows your pain… and has everyone of your tears on a jar.. he counted them all…I pray for comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding for you all. rhonda

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    Rhonda….thanks so much. Your prayer is probably what helped me get to sleep. :o) I found myself praying myself to sleep last night….as sometimes I do. Sometimes God burdens our hearts so we will pray without seasing (sp)....I guess it was my night to do that. Again…thnx for taking the time to read this!

  • Hollie Nass

    Hollie Nass

    So sad :(

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    thanks for taking the time to read this. It means the world & more to me that others are reading it. Thanks again

  • Kimberley Davitt

    Kimberley Davitt

    oh so sad

    deepest sympathy

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    Thanks Kim….I’m glad that you took the time to read this. It just came to me last night, or should I say early this morning at 12am. :o)

  • jujubean

    jujubean

    beautifully wriiten.

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    Thanks juju….I am proud that you took time to stop by and read it. Thank you again!!

  • Squealia

    Squealia

    How sad…. hope the pain will heal

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    Thanks….in time God will heal the pain…I still have my FAITH, and walk in it daily….I know that he will heal us all!! thank you again!!

  • Heavenandus777

    Heavenandus777

    Awwww Sweetie Im So Sorry, God Will always Be There to Comfort you, and I will Have you in my Prayers a Thoughts…......
    God Bless
    ANNA

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    Thank Anna….God is who gets us thru each and everyday!! Each day gets a little better, but it of course will take time for all the wounds to heal. Thank you so much for reading this.

  • Heavenandus777

    Heavenandus777

    I Understand Totally ,I Lost My Son at Birth April 29th 1994 and it Still Hurts,I Have a Tear in My Eyes right Now and its Not from Being sad These are HAPPY Tears, Because I will See My Son again, and I Can Then give him the Hug I Couldn’t In The Hospital…....OK Now Im Crying…...
    God Bless You my Sister In Christ
    ANNA

  • Ellen Winchell

    Ellen Winchell

    My prayers will include you and your family.Very nicely written
    In Christian love, Ellen

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    Wow Ellen…Thank you so much. I am so honored you stopped by, and liked my writing. Thank you so much for adding us to your prayers as the end of this year will be a hard one for my family. God Bless You!!

    Oh my….Thanks so much for the fav!! I humbled….really…..thank you!

  • Ellen Winchell

    Ellen Winchell

    Sheila, don’t underestimate your talent :>)

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    Thanks so much….I am so bad at that. I will work on it. :o) I am going to try and start writing again.

  • Patricia Montgomery

    Patricia Montg...

    I could feel the pain in your words. Suicide is so painful for the family members left behind. I pray that God will bring comfort and peace to all of you.

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    Thanks so much Patricia. It is truly painful, and we will feel the pain again in a few months as the anniversary comes around of his death. It’s still so raw!

  • Ellen Winchell

    Ellen Winchell

    I hope you are having a good day. God is faithful to get us through these hurtful things but the “getting through” can be very painful. I pray that you get the closure that you need. It isn’t disloyal to let the pain go over time.Praying for peace for you and the return of His joy. ...sorry if I am preaching, it’s what I do.

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    Thnx so much! It is awesome to hear words of encouragement, and faithfulness. I appreciate it!! Oh no….you’re not preaching….I believe we need more ppl in the world today willing to stand up and let the world know that GOD COMES FIRST!!

  • Glenda  Remaklus

    Glenda Remaklus

    My prayers and deepest sympathy are with you Sheila. I

  • Sheila Pasket replied

    Glenda….thank you. The day is drawing more close with each passing hour….I am still dreading that day!

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