Loving Sam... (A Novel Extract)

I slid to the door and opened it warily. Sam stared back, his face purple and swollen. Impulsively my right hand cupped my mouth and my left arm shot out to grab his arm and pull him inside.
“What happened?” I gasped; pulling him against me as though he was an injured child. He pulled away from my grasp.
“Tony,” he whispered.
My breath caught in my throat.
“This is my fault,” it wasn’t a question at all. Tony had found out about me kissing his brother. It was a kiss that had meant nothing. Or so I told myself, and Tony.
“Come upstairs,” I offered blankly, pulling Sam upstairs.

“Are you okay?” I whispered. It hurt me insanely to see him battered and bruised his way.
“Just forget this,” he said, his voice icy. “Forget I was here. This is stupid, I don’t know why the hell I came”.
He shook his head sadly, and turned towards the window he had climbed through many times throughout our childhood friendship.
“Sam where are you going?” I threw myself toward the window and latched onto his arm.
“Home,” he mumbled, his face a mess of pain.
“Let me get you an ice pack for your head,” I tugged him gently to my bed and forced him to sit upon my floral bedspread. He didn’t look out of place in the least, and I found myself thinking about the numerous nights we had both slept in there together. Before Tony, before everything that had gone wrong.

When I returned, he was still glued in the same position; staring blankly at the wall. Sam looked perfect on my bed, aside from the swollen purple eye and grazed chin. I suddenly wanted to take
care of him. After all; it was my fault. I handed him the ice pack, and used the wet washer to dab away the dried blood on his chin. I saw him wince, but he didn’t speak.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered suddenly.
“What for?” he played ignorant. He wanted to hear me tell him I was sorry for sleeping with his brother, for destroying our friendship.
“For destroying our friendship,” I offered.
When the blood was dabbed away, I placed the damp washer beside him, and looked into his tortured blue eyes. They were so much more beautiful than Tony’s.
“Doesn’t matter,” his words were like ice swords that sliced through my chest.
“It does,” I said plainly, overcome by a sudden urge to touch him in some way. I stretched out my fingers and placed them gently on his knees. He stared at my hands before closing his swollen eyes.
For a moment I wondered if he had somehow managed to fall asleep whilst sitting. This thought made the next thing he did entirely shocking. With his eyes still closed, he placed his pointer fingers on my forehead and ran them down the length of my face. Over my eyelids; sliding them closed, across my mouth; his touch featherlight. I resisted the urge to kiss his fingertips. His fingers did not stop at my neck, instead they sild across my shoulders, down my arms, where he clutched my upper arms with his strong hands. I dared not breathe; the air catching in my throat. I dared not open my eyes; perhaps I was dreaming. Then, in that moment, I felt his face move slowly towards me, and his lips brush my cheek. Once his mouth had parted itself from my burning skin, I managed to breathe once more. My eyes remained closed, his breath shuddered across my cheek. I was suddenly aware I didn’t want Tony. I never wanted Tony.
I wanted Sam; I’d always wanted Sam; I want Sam.

I swiftly moved my hands to the sides of his face, being careful not to hurt his tender wounds, and raised my lips to his. His arms were around my waist in one swift movement and he pulled my shaking body between his legs; I was wondering how a kiss could do this to a person. I’d never felt this feeling before. Freezing and burning.
Spinning and standing still. Wanting and needing. Sam was a part of me; I was a part of Sam. We were a part of each other. Dizzy, and scared, and I almost wanted to melt into him; as if that were the only way to regain my balance. I somehow managed to slide his shirt over his head and then we were staring at each other. His chest was perfect, I watched it rise up and down as he breathed, staring at his ab muscles as he mentally undressed me. My body felt naked, and when his eyes were on me I wanted to be naked. The idea of being wrapped in his body beneath my fresh sheets had never seemed so inviting.
“I fucking love you,” he whispered. “I’ve always fucking loved you”.
I almost cried when he said that, mainly out of relief.
“I love you too,” I breathed gently, worried my words might break everything. Time stood still, everything felt delicate and surreal.

I was shaking as he undressed me. Not the way Tony did. Sam was never in a rush, he was never in a hurry to finish. He admired each part of me; like you only ever see in sappy movies. And he kissed me in places that could only make a girl blush. I couldn’t breathe as my hands undid his jeans, couldn’t find the air amidst the intensity. He helped me when my hands fumbled embarrassingly; and then we were naked. The sheets slid over us and I felt him kissing my neck; my body was seperate from my thoughts. I could taste his lips, feel his hands on me. I had dreamed of this unknowingly. Dreamed of being loved beneath my embarrassing floral doona by my best friend; Sam.

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Tags:

best, boy, boyfriend, crush, friend, fuck, girl, kiss, love, pretty and sex