She still had time before the dreaded engagement with aloof acquaintances.
After the suffocating train ride, the city was intriguingly blissful, despite the hundreds of strangers.
The near by park, with grounds lusciously covered with fallen autumn leaves, was calling her. Shortly, she stood right in the middle of the field, with the leaves beneath her feet, making delicious rattling sounds; swiftly taking her back to happy childhood memories.
She then intuitively gazed to the right, just to witness the moment she’d been summoned to see: two human silhouettes, locked in an embrace, relishing togetherness, and a kiss that sent shivers down her back. She froze in time, drawing upon the energy that lit the entire park. Reminiscing in silence the connection she once had with her own lover.
After some time she spontaneously started walking back towards the city lights, ready to face the desolate reality again.
Silent Witness
Entry for the Flash Fiction Group May Challenge – “witness”.
This is my 1st attempt ever at writing on cue…. and also fiction writing as opposed to poetry and self dialogues. PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS WORK AS I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY GUIDANCE TO IMPROVE MY FUTURE WRITINGS
Faith Puleston, 3 months ago
Nice atmosphere here!
Verangel in reply to Faith Puleston’s comment, 3 months ago
thanks Faith… we must had been writing in tandem today ;) i went to the city on Sat for a friend’s hens night.. and so i ‘borowed’ some of the aspects from that trip and made it into a fiction piece….
Faith Puleston, 3 months ago
Mmm. The story I wrote this morning was not based on anything!!!! It’s fun writing to order, I think!
Gayla Drummond, 3 months ago
The story itself is great. There are just a few nitpicky things…I’ll bubblemail them to you, disregard if you like, of course. I’m not an expert, you know. =)
Alison Pearce, 3 months ago
Wonderful flash piece for the challenge!
Verangel in reply to Alison Pearce’s comment, 3 months ago
Thank you Alison 8))) I gladly took on the challenge, despite the fact that I have never really written fiction before… I thought it was a great opportunity to flex the creative muscle… It was a good fun….
bchrisdesigns, 3 months ago
Verangel, a lot of good imagery and your grammar is right on. My only suggestion would be to maybe elude a little bit more as to what the dreaded appointment is for.
Verangel in reply to bchrisdesigns’s comment, 3 months ago
Thank you Chris. I added a few words as you suggested… Glad you took the time to read and comment on this work 8)))
Zolton, 3 months ago
I like it because we can all relate to this. Good descriptions.