The Sears Tower, 113 floors, 1729 feet in height, with 4.5 million square feet. Rooms. with a view. Window washers needed, no experience needed! Sears will supply all the WINDEX YOU NEED. $14K per hour (floors 95 through 113), $7.50 per hour floors 2 through 94. Relaxed dress code, and casual fridays. Full benefits with car allowance (sorry no insurance, of ANY KIND, AT ANY TIME, EVER.)* MUST HAVE NOTE FROM PARENTS OR GUARDIAN IF UNDER THE AGE OF 14.
THANK YOU, SEARS ROEBUCK &co.
*Unless of course the UnderWorld should freeze over. (Just bring a note from SATAN, and full coverage will be provided.)