Life can be very tough !!!

Immigrated at the age of 26 from Holland to Australia. You never think about how health can take such a sudden turn in your parents life. You never think at that age, that your parents or an other family can become so sick that it can be life threatening. And when you migrate that you can’t be there for them. Because you are so far away. I am nearly 45 and a bit more wiser then I used to be at 26. Do I regret migrating? No, I don’t but I do regret never putting money aside or saving up for that needed trip , for when the phone call would come with the bad news.
I know my parents understand, and that they also rather be by themselves when they are sick. And don’t want family staying at their place because it would be to much for them. Yes, both my parents have been diagnosed with cancer and that all in less then two Months. They were going on a half year push-bike holiday through Northern Europe, this year. Yes, they always have been big adventurers and I went with them when I was a child. They are great memories. And I am always very thankful that they gave me those life experiences. I am crying my eye balls out at the moment when I write this. I feel hopeless, stupid, alone, to far away, and more…..
The nurses in the hospital had arranged a special dinner for my parents, when they celebrated their 45 year anniversary. While they were both laying in hospital. That’s when it really got to me. I felt so sorry for them and happy at the same time. Especially the kindness of the hospital staff.
I have talked to my dad on the phone, but he can not talk back much, while Four weeks ago I still talked to them on Skype.
Why do I write this Journal, you might wonder? And this is why. First is to warn people who are thinking of Migrating to another country that it is not always easy. I experienced home sickness over the first few years in Australia, and I found out that when you get home sick, it is mostly because things are not going well.
If you don’t speak the language well, you can not be yourself because you can not express your self the way you want to. So it stops you from being the happy you.
Life might be good for a while when you settle and you have a great job. But then things change and you end up living of the Government. And you have problems getting by.
And really no money to get Two people over to Holland to see both your parents.
I know when you leave your parents Home to stand on your own feet, that it is your own life you are going to live but when the times comes when things like this happen , you feel totally different, I can tell you that.
Please live your life the best you can and take every day as it comes, enjoy the surroundings around you, the bees on the flowers and all other beautiful things in live and most of all always keep communicating and try to solve issues you have, tell that you love each other, because one day you might regret that you have not done this. You beauty for the Internet, I have been able to do all those things. Time has not been a problem, Time has not been a problem when ringing, time in distance has not been a problem because of Skype. But now for ones it created a problem for me and that is time in Travel.
To step in the car and drive to the hospital in Rotterdam, which is yes, 25.000 Km away for me.
It helped me a little bit writing this. I hope it will be of some help for other people in the same position, all though it will not happen very often that both parents end up in hospital at the same time. I don’t think my parents will read this but if they do, Pa, ma wy houden van je en denken aan je , elke minuut van de dag. Je bent in onze hart maar dat weten jullie wel, we spreken elkaar gauw weer. Kusjes en knuffels van Emily en Esther.

If you want to react to this mail, I don’t think I will reply. But I do want to say to all people out there. Life is full of surprises that is for sure, you never know what it will throw at you !

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Thinking of immigrating, can you handle the stress? Can you cope with family members getting sick , which are thousands of Km away? Can you safe money to go back?
Can you handle home sickness? Please read how life can turn around just like that.

And if you have similar experiences off course you can write it here too, it might help other people cope and share with things like this.

Esther’s RedBubble overview page with links to most of her fungi images and her travels are updated in the Worldisround when she has time. Please have a read, as some you might like to visit yourself One day.

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Comments

  • Ann Warrenton
    Ann Warrentonover 4 years ago

    Love, hugs and prayers dear friend Esther…

  • Thank you so much, Ann. You are a very dear friend. ;o)
    I have send my dad flowers in hospital (Thanks to the Internet) which my mum says they are still standing good after two weeks. So I can recommend sending flowers by the net , they are of great quality ! It was great to hear also that he put them in a vase himself. But we have a tuff time, especially my parents, my dad starts the chemo today and I think my mum on Wednesday. Thank you so much, Ann. It helps writing it of me I think. A bit of distraction. I have been cleaning the house from top to bottom but at the moment getting sick of that.
    Kind regards from Esther

    – Esther's Art and Photography

  • Marilyn Harris
    Marilyn Harrisover 4 years ago

    So very sorry to heart this Esther. I can relate to what you are saying – My mum and brothers are on the other side of the globe. It’s my mum’s 80th in Sept and I am fortunate enough to be able to visit her this year for her birthday and get to see my brothers and other relatives. I hope to spend Christmas with the family – it will be my first Christmas with my mum for 50 years! My thoughts are with you and your family! Take care! Hugs :o)

  • Dear Marilyn, I am so happy for you !!!! How special is that. Does your mum knows that you are coming or is it a surprise? 50 years is a very long time. You are lucky she is still alive . How wonderful. My parents are only young in their 60ties and so this comes as real shock to me. I thought I would have had time still to save up. I really hope that they can get better and will have at least another 10 years of quality life. Thank you so much, Marilyn for sharing. I wish yoy a wonderful Christmas with your mum and family ! Kind regards from Esther

    – Esther's Art and Photography

  • Ann Warrenton
    Ann Warrentonover 4 years ago

    Your welcome, when you get tired of the cleaning, go out get fresh air and pictures. If you paint, put your emotions in the painting. :) See what you get… BIG HUGS …
    Ann
    Chemo will be okay, my husband did well while getting four treatments. Positive minds helps alot so be psoitive, I’m sure your parents are. :)

  • Thank you, Ann. Yes, I am keeping positive. I am going with Em away to the bush tomorrow, and do a big walk. That will help. I have worked in the garden for a while. Pruning. Snapping all those branches LOL with big secateurs. Got my frustrations out on that.
    Glad your husband did well. That is great to hear. I think I am going to town and buy some candles to burn. My mum and I always do that. It has helped a lot in the past. Cheers Ann. Take care, from Esther

    – Esther's Art and Photography

  • Ann Warrenton
    Ann Warrentonover 4 years ago

    Keeping busy is the key and it clears the mind for having a better out look. Hugs, have a great walk.

  • Thank yo so much, Ann. I will keep busy. That sure will help.

    – Esther's Art and Photography

  • traveller
    travellerover 4 years ago

    Oh Esther, I know exactley what you are feeling, my mum died in her native Scotland after a battle with cancer, and there was no way that I could have get back there to see her and to support my dad. In many ways I feel almost blest because I had recently sent them tickets to come to Australia. They had a wonderful holiday with Jude and I, and our kids in Victoria, and so my last memories of her were very happy ones. In what some might call a selfish attitude, I was happy not to have witnessed her suffering. Be strong, I know you are, and remember the good times. Jude and I are thinking about you and Emily, take care.
    Ian & Jude

  • I am happy too, that my parents have been here in Tasmania But that is more then 10 years ago. Time goes so quick. I am so sorry about your mum. Cancer is a very nasty illness. We will try to stay strong, positive and keep busy. Thank you so much for your support Ian and Jude. Kind regards from Emily and Esther

    – Esther's Art and Photography

  • Marilyn Harris
    Marilyn Harrisover 4 years ago

    Yes, Esther my Mum knows that myself and hubby are going, but a special surprise is that my brother and his partner here in Australia will be coming over too – mum doesn’t know that!
    Hope you have a relaxing weekend – Enjoy your walk! :o)

  • That is so wonderful, Marilyn. It sounds like a real family reunion. Kind regards from Esther

    – Esther's Art and Photography

  • photogaryphy
    photogaryphyover 4 years ago

    I am very sorry to hear of this Esther, my thoughts are with you at this sad time. What you wrote is so true and very touching. Take care my friend and look after yourself.

  • Thank you so much, Gary. For your wonderful support. Kind regards from Esther

    – Esther's Art and Photography

  • Claire Walsh
    Claire Walshover 4 years ago

    Sorry sorry to hear you bad news Esther. We are both thinking of you.

  • Thank you so much, Mark and Claire. You are so kind !

    – Esther's Art and Photography

  • Ann Warrenton
    Ann Warrentonover 4 years ago

    Great Esther, hugsssss. :)

  • Thanks, Ann. ;o))

    – Esther's Art and Photography

  • Carla Wick/Jandelle Petters
    Carla Wick/Jan...over 4 years ago

    Oh my dear lady…….
    Our loved ones are the best things we can have in our lives…and they know we love THEM in return…even if we can’t be there sometimes. Know that they love you…think of you constantly….and remember the beautiful days in the past like they were just yesterday. I’m sure it was a very good choice for you to move to Australia….there’s a purpose for everything that we do…we may not know what it is even till the end? But…….imagine all the things you’ve seen, all the lives that have touched yours and you’ve touched. Your family is still there…just further away. Hold them close in your heart….know they’re doing the same.

  • I sure do, Carla. Thank you so much for your wise and wonderful comment, that is so true my dear friend. Hugs from us !

    – Esther's Art and Photography

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