Immigrated at the age of 26 from Holland to Australia. You never think about how health can take such a sudden turn in your parents life. You never think at that age, that your parents or an other family can become so sick that it can be life threatening. And when you migrate that you can’t be there for them. Because you are so far away. I am nearly 45 and a bit more wiser then I used to be at 26. Do I regret migrating? No, I don’t but I do regret never putting money aside or saving up for that needed trip , for when the phone call would come with the bad news.
I know my parents understand, and that they also rather be by themselves when they are sick. And don’t want family staying at their place because it would be to much for them. Yes, both my parents have been diagnosed with cancer and that all in less then two Months. They were going on a half year push-bike holiday through Northern Europe, this year. Yes, they always have been big adventurers and I went with them when I was a child. They are great memories. And I am always very thankful that they gave me those life experiences. I am crying my eye balls out at the moment when I write this. I feel hopeless, stupid, alone, to far away, and more…..
The nurses in the hospital had arranged a special dinner for my parents, when they celebrated their 45 year anniversary. While they were both laying in hospital. That’s when it really got to me. I felt so sorry for them and happy at the same time. Especially the kindness of the hospital staff.
I have talked to my dad on the phone, but he can not talk back much, while Four weeks ago I still talked to them on Skype.
Why do I write this Journal, you might wonder? And this is why. First is to warn people who are thinking of Migrating to another country that it is not always easy. I experienced home sickness over the first few years in Australia, and I found out that when you get home sick, it is mostly because things are not going well.
If you don’t speak the language well, you can not be yourself because you can not express your self the way you want to. So it stops you from being the happy you.
Life might be good for a while when you settle and you have a great job. But then things change and you end up living of the Government. And you have problems getting by.
And really no money to get Two people over to Holland to see both your parents.
I know when you leave your parents Home to stand on your own feet, that it is your own life you are going to live but when the times comes when things like this happen , you feel totally different, I can tell you that.
Please live your life the best you can and take every day as it comes, enjoy the surroundings around you, the bees on the flowers and all other beautiful things in live and most of all always keep communicating and try to solve issues you have, tell that you love each other, because one day you might regret that you have not done this. You beauty for the Internet, I have been able to do all those things. Time has not been a problem, Time has not been a problem when ringing, time in distance has not been a problem because of Skype. But now for ones it created a problem for me and that is time in Travel.
To step in the car and drive to the hospital in Rotterdam, which is yes, 25.000 Km away for me.
It helped me a little bit writing this. I hope it will be of some help for other people in the same position, all though it will not happen very often that both parents end up in hospital at the same time. I don’t think my parents will read this but if they do, Pa, ma wy houden van je en denken aan je , elke minuut van de dag. Je bent in onze hart maar dat weten jullie wel, we spreken elkaar gauw weer. Kusjes en knuffels van Emily en Esther.
If you want to react to this mail, I don’t think I will reply. But I do want to say to all people out there. Life is full of surprises that is for sure, you never know what it will throw at you !
Thinking of immigrating, can you handle the stress? Can you cope with family members getting sick , which are thousands of Km away? Can you safe money to go back?
Can you handle home sickness? Please read how life can turn around just like that.
And if you have similar experiences off course you can write it here too, it might help other people cope and share with things like this.