Afterglow ...for Buk

it will be said once,
in the afterglow of meaningless sex
and senseless conversation-
when you’ve gone through
your last cigarette,
too tired to use me once more-
once your generous gift
of pearls have lost their luster-
your limbs shivering and twitching,
itching like a trigger finger
that found it’s mark too soon-
you won’t think
we took things too far,
the scratch of your pen
drawing your blood out from the page
as the landlady,
rabid and foaming in her housecoat
barks for the rent.
Darling, look here
when your sketchy memory tries
to draw up my face,
i will have skipped town
like a wiry comet about to meet it’s fate
Hell bent, skin ablaze
flesh sweet and salty with whiskey
too hopped up to know better,
to know what it all meant or
even be afraid-
so think of me,
head aligned with the stars,
so soon to find the earth
for was i not,
everything to you once-
was i not
your whore, your muse?

Afterglow ...for Buk

VampireLily

Joined April 2011

  • Artist
    Notes
  • Artwork Comments 5

Artist's Description

A love letter to Charles Bukowski~

i wrote this poem after reading an article about Charles Bukowski’s girlfriend Francis Smith and what life with him became for her during the disintegration of their relationship. The true love of his life & his muse had been Jane Baker…….she died young and Buk was completely traumatized over her death. Every woman that he was with after her was unfortunately held up to her example and seldom passed the test.

Francis had given birth to Buk’s daughter Marina so they always had that attachment that might have been easier to break if they hadn’t had a child together. He was horrible to her, often referring to her as Snaggle tooth and worse yet Shack-Job. He’d call her a whore to her face. He was known for his drinking binges, his outbursts and was occassionaly violent towards her. There’s even one poem by him entitled: “To the Whore that Stole My Poems” which may or may not have been referring to Francis.

That said: I wrote this point from her point of view….. tried to get into her skin for a few moments and say to him what she may have wanted to say but never could. Instead of making her into a snaggle toothed shack job….. i wanted her to be more sympathetic….almost goddess-like in her ability to have become his muse in the beginning of their relationship only to fall at the end of it therefore becoming a tawdry whore which he only used for sex… Hence the line: After meaningless sex and senseless conversation. They had nothing to say to each other anymore. At the end of the piece i re-establish what their relationship HAD been: Wasn’t i everything to you once….?

She was unable to understand how she had failed him…….

i was so overcome by what i had read that i wanted desperately to give this woman a voice.

Artwork Comments

  • pauldrobertson
  • VampireLily
  • Mark Ramstead
  • Rnz0
  • VampireLily
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10% off

for joining the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.