jolon larter

Having liberated the chicken (or rooster, whatever it fucking is, perhaps we will just refer to it as fowl or foul depending on your tolerence for feathered beings), I now faced the dilemma of deciding in what direction to take my revolution, should I go all guerilla warfare style and hide in tree tops, wearing a ballet costume whilst throwing peanuts at tax collectors and other lowly govornment slaves, or is it time to get the people on board and build up an army more fearsome than Sydney’s mardi gras parade? Believe me people, the quest for global domination is never easy, I have had to perform the grizzliest of tasks I never thought I would, and despatched many a bird along the way, shit just this very morning I was almost taken out by one of those new, high tech, Japanese kamikaze pelicans…I now fear the rodents are plotting retribution…