one..two…three o clock…
four o clock…
...and the ceiling still looks the same
the blinds block out all outside light
but for the dim glow of the nightlight in the hall
all would be dark
not a sound is made or heard
quiet…nothing
turning …left…right…one wall…the other
...flat on the back…back to the ceiling
which has become a dull reminder of the nothing that hasn’t changed
maybe the floor has a different view…
...no
it says the same as above
a repetitive void
telling no secrets
giving no sign
eyes stay open
afraid of what’s inside
unable to face the bombardment of visions
but tiring of the force of thought
to get up is no option
as then will has given in…
...capitulated to the endless cycle
to just close eyes and drift away to darkness
to feel and see…
...everything
and nothing
the confusion of wanting
churns and burns into a fruitless frenzy
the wanting of sight
tormenting tired mind
inner paths and highways calling to be demolished
rebuild…rebuild
the chant demands
bring in the bulldozer
...start again
the ceiling becomes brighter
hailing to the morning glow
five…six…7 o clock
...time to get up
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