Margaret Bryant

Lawton, United States

Just a girl trying to get ahead in the cold, cruel world while making it a more cinematic place to be.

Journal

lovin' my camera

oh how i love love love my christmas camera. it’s black and white setting is so perfect. i haven’t had to do anything but some cropping. before i had to always tweak contrast, depth, and often luminance to get a result i liked. but this is perfect. color’s great, too, but i think its absolutely beyond me to leave color alone; no matter how nice it is i HAVE to mess with it and make it different. it’s just so nice to like—- not have to “see what i can work with and make something of” which is basically what i was having to do before. with this, just there it is, good to go! yay!

post-christmas exhaustion

sooooooooooooooo tired today. was a great holiday, but today mikes back at work, schedules back to normal, and we were up too damned late for it. been trying to figure out the new camera and it’s quirks, finding ways around the auto-focus and ways to get decent self-portraits with it (which i JUST figured out, just need to hook the thing to a tv then i can see exactly what i’m doing, and the main places i like to do self portraits have tv’s already in the right places for monitoring.) have to admit that most of the time its “intelligent auto” system does a better job than me unless there’s some specific weirdness i’m wanting to do. has some sort of lazer or something that scans things to get the light and distances and shit and it’s very sciency. lol… it’s really pretty cool. and …

merry christmas etc!

merry christmas, happy channukah, jolly kwanza, cheery festivus, so on and so forth to all you bubblers!
i got the camera i wanted!!! panasonic lumix dmc-fh20. point and shoot, but the best point and shoot, and totally suited to my needs. self portraits still need to be with the video camera— the flip around viewscreen and remote control are HUGE helps for them, also still need it for things i need more focus control/other manual control with, but this takes most of my light problems away, and i can take the thing with me wherever i go and stop missing all the shots i have been missing. and IT’S PURPLE!!!!!!

great morning!

what a great morning!
Mandy Oversees A New Recruit’s Haircut and Understatement were both featured in Pink Panther Magazine which i adore, AND
Spider Womb was one of the winners of the Ink Drops Challenge !!!!! so i will be doing a little shopping!…

i’m feeling weird about the attention “understatement” is getting, though…. it’s like—- this was an incredibly personal poem, despite it’s tone. it was about an event that was like…. the best thing i could have done and at the end i did indeed laugh, it was freedom and it was wonderful, BUT, before that end i spent 50+ hours awake and going through the worst tension of my life, by the end i was up for 62 hours straight with no chemical aide, it was godawful and frightful and its like every comment thats made on it…. it’s like that degree o

feeling better about today

feeling better about today than yesterday. yesterday was so frustrating—- 360 captures and three, THREE that i could do something with. well. that’s an exageration. about 50 were of me making faces that i had no intention of doing anything with, and like 100 that were just different angles and whatnot of the mandys, and most of those were pretty good, but that still leaves like 200 that were TERRIBLE. everything went much more smoothly today. much. sooooooooooooooo glad to have mandy out of storage, i barely got to use her for anything before the move and she’s just so cool and horrible, so many possibilites with her. i think she is going to meet ophelia and they will fall in love and teach each other about moderation and balance. but jeeeeez louise my back/neck are killing me…

intense need to whine

today is a pain in the ass. water heater isn’t working. i think the pilot light just went out, the little door covering it had gotten knocked loose somehow, but i dunno and i have never lit a pilot light and i am chicken so i have been waiting ALL DAMNED DAY for the handyman to get here to look at it. alllllllllllllllllllllll day. this is not unusual with handyman sam. sigh…. so when i knew i was going to have at least a couple of hours wait before he got here i decided to do a shoot i was wanting to do. all the damned lights are under a pile of stuff in the storage room. i cannot get to them. so i tried anyway and it was almost a total waste because everything was just too damned dark. so that was just a pain. i don’t want to have to redo them, i hate doing the makeup and all …

tee spree

getting tired of my tee spree and the attempts to promote. causing me to spend way too much time being irritated by facebook. BUT gotta try what i can to make a few extra dollars for christmas and the MST3K episode themed tees are the best way to go with my fb friends.

another sale! omg!

sold another tee!

could it be that my facebook promotional blitz is working? the theory of it is to basically befriend every human being on fb and pressure them into being fans. i have spent an ungodly ammount of time doing that instead of creating anything the past few days. could it have worked?? maybe in this case, though i’m pretty sure whoever bought the shirt last night is a longer-standing friend.

excited

finally found this ancient camera i knew i had around here someplace that i was wanting to use to do TTV things with— yay! its crazy old and has tiny little insect carcasses in the lens and should lend to some pretty interesting results.

5000 views

I crossed the 5000 view threshold on art today (total) (had already on tees, though almost NO COMMENTS on those, it’s very weird)! Just been here since September so that seems pretty ok. So don’t tell me if it’s actually not. Makes me happy anyway.

The child I gave birth to is legally an adult now. EEK. It wouldn’t be AS feaky if he were also mentally an adult. But he so is not. He’s autistic, and while he’s come a long way and made great strides and is very intelligent, he is just——definitely immature for his age and it scares the living hell out of me.

Surly Teen

i am thinking of beginning a series entitled “surly teen” featuring the surly teen that lives in my home and is at this moment acting like me not letting him on the computer right now will somehow ruin his life. indeed. trouble is catching him unawares, because if he sees the camera he WILL look directly at it and make one of two “camera faces,” neither of which are good, no matter what i tell him. and while the idea is a bit of motherly vengence, i don’t want him to look like a goober, just the surly teen that he is.

color

i wanna do more things with color, but i am just almost never content with it. it’s harder to do most of what i like to do in color with what i have to work with, largely because of the backgrounds around here. this house just has UGLY COLORS, except for the kitchen. and the couch is bright red and makes such a great background for black and white, its so easy to make it look like a sea of blackness. it’s not like i have a studio with backdrops and whathaveyou. i need to do more outside. better light for my camera and less ugly. whatever.…

and on another note that i’m just going to add here because what the hell— today feels so fucked up and weird. can’t explain it really, just feels WRONG and i either heard a ghost noise or had an auditory hallucination last night (kitchen door s

maaaaaan...... i have model envy.

are there any others of you who know someone that has just got THE BEST FACE of all faces that you could contentedly work photographing forever and who has been in the lens as a profession for like— years and years and so beyond the perfect coolest face they know how to use it— AND THEY LIVE HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY SO YOU CAN’T?? yeah. its annoying. AND she’s an actress and we make movies and she does weird little things for friends like we would want her to do, and noooooooooooooo, hundreds of miles away!!! was just looking through her latest facebook pics and being blown away over and over again by her crazy face. very angular and unique and pretty but also kinda SCARY and maaaaan….. its just irritating! right now all i really have is ME because no one else is ever ho…

i. hate. the. wind.

omg. i hate the wind. stupid stupid oklahoma wind. i hate the sound of it, the cold of it, the way it blinds me with my own hair no matter WHAT i do, the way it makes it impossible for me to do the 50-foot-barbie things i wanted to do today because she won’t hang steady and being blinded by my hair i can’t see the stinkin viewfinder well enough, the way it threatens to steal my laundry away and makes my eyes itch and makes me sneeze with dust I HATE THE DAMNED WIND!!!!!!!

just sayin.’

Ophelia

really happy with how ophelia has turned out as a model doll. i’ve had her a couple of months and hadn’t used her because when she’s just sitting there on the shelf in her natural element she’s not very inspiring. so very tanned and blonde and pink. but all shje needed was a little bit of glycerin to shine her up! got many many captures i’m happy with.

video editing is hard and tedious oh how i loathe it

and i am not even the one doing the editing. i am just observing it all and commenting and suggesting and whatnot. do you have any idea how many 2-8 second shots make up a half hour short? ALOT, that’s how many. and very very few shots are over 8 seconds. and then theres the audio. and the transitions. and effects. and titling. and omg. almost done, almost done. almost done. between that and its stresses and my damned hips/legs/lower back being a FRIGGIN MESS the past week and a half— ugh.

done

i think stupid shirt time is over now. for the time being. i’m tired. i’m pained. i’m irritable. and i need to design a logo for a pretend tv station and opening credits for mutant dwellers. going to try to do them old-school and chromakey them in since it’s suppposed to be an old movie. credits should be easy, i think, i know pretty much how i want to do them but i’m not sure about the logo at all. i’ll try.

stupid shirt day continues, might be stupid shirt week

yep, still doing the stupid shirts. still loving doing the stupid shirts. i would wear my stupid shirts. that’s the way i roll. maybe this is my forte—really poorly rendered stupid shirts. stick figures and the like. indeed. when i have 12 i will make a calender.

i want to do a shoot with one barbie holding the bloody severed head of another barbie with the body lying nearby out in the alley in the gravel but i need to find the stage blood— i think we have some. would make some if i could find the food coloring but i think i might have thrown it away in the move, i think it was leaky….. but for now i’ll just do the shirts. its more fun and less work and doesn’t make my shoulders ache.

god, how did it get to be so late? gotta get mike’s lunch ready.

today is STUPID SHIRT DAY

today is stupid shirt day. it is the day i design REALLY STUPID SHIRTS. it’s turning out to be fun. i like my stupid shirts. i am going to make many more stupid shirts in the eons to come.

yesterday=dig it

i had all of the Terribly Deep Thoughts last night while going to sleep, about the collaborative nature between artist, art, and audience, and as usual with such thoughts all coherence to it is gone now, but an idea is left. one for which i will have to dig out a tripod and move a heavy mirror, so it will probably just stew in my head for awhile before i actually try to do it. i guess i could test the whole idea without moving the mirror first to see if its even worth the effort— it might not work well— yeah, i’ll do that.…

yesterday was good. mike’s day off, we went to the mountains and ate at meers and looked at a couple of the old abandoned houses out there— roof had recently burnt on one and it has a big fence around it now. got no good pics, though some not good ones, just wasn’t

calender musings

I want to make a jolly chimp calender. also want to make a hugo calender, but mike (mike is my husband) thinks we should actually wait until each month comes to take the images for that so that they are as good as can be and hugo is his puppet so i’ll respect that. but MJC is mine and i feel like rushing the halloween season. the question is—- can i find the props i’ll need? i really doubt it, the storage room is a huge mess and i think much of what would have been easily accessible before is now packed away somewhere in there. i really only need one of the jackolanterns and one of the santa hats, i guess. i think i can find good props for everything else in the house-proper. but i need that santa hat and pumpkin….. hm. guess i will start with images for other months and see what …

dream

oh wow fucked up dream just woke up from. a dead friend had sent me a birthday package, and sent me another jolly chimp in it, and i was still back living with my parents in it except my uncle was john tesh and he was there too and it went totally over my head for a month that a dead person can’t send gifts and then i tracked him down and we were talking but i could only understand about every 3rd word because my cell is such crap and all i could make out was that he had stolen the identity of a dead person earlier in life and that thats why i found the death deal in the social security death index. and i was getting super dopey and could barely talk and he wasnt talking at all anymore and then the dog woke me up needing out which is just as well. so trying to just get the jist of it d…

Why not?

Why not do the journal thing? Been thinking I should do something like this anyway. Need a place to get the babble out where all the whining is less likely to be completely annoying to everyone than my current outlets. So I’ll start this out with a good whine—MY HIP HURTS!!!!!! I want to tear it off of my body. Want to rip my entire spinal cord out, and the spine itself while I’m at it. Just yank ’em out. Yeah….…

On a happier note—-I have 4 things featured in various groups right now, that’s pretty good, right? Considering I’ve just been here for—what? 2 weeks? 3? No, I think 2… Whatever, time is funny. (Look at me, Ma, I’m properly capitalizing things, aren’t you proud?) SEEMS like that’s pretty good but I dunno. Whatever— feeling pretty decent about myself right now and ha

desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait