At the bank

Bill and Alf dashed into the bank. Alf looked threatening with a gun while Bill thrust a bag and typed note at the cashier:

Pu £10,000 cash ino his bag

Confused, the cashier called the head clerk and showed him. The head clerk was shocked. “Do you not understand how banks operate, sir? We don’t simply…defecate money!”

The cashier interjected. “No, sir, I think it’s to do with the other one’s bag. His bag, see. ”

“But what’s INO?”

An assistant sidled over. “Sorry, sir, but I love word puzzles. Can I see?”

As the three employees bent over the note, the robbers felt increasingly awkward. The assistant suggested an anagram and they all scribbled away. Bill tried, “This is a robbery!” but they were too absorbed.

When the others launched into cryptograms, Bill and Alf slipped out. They decided to get another typewriter before the next robbery.

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More from bungling early twentieth century criminals Bill and Alf. By Jove, I’ve created a mini-series!

For the Forever Challenge . Many thanks to Coleman A. Riddle for the prompt.


bank, robbery, puzzle, typewriter, failure


  • Coleman A. Riddle
    Coleman A. Riddleover 2 years ago

    Delighfully amusing and an honour o have inspired his! ;)

  • I was a devotee of Lost Consonants when I was a student! Very glad you enjoyed this – a sincere thank you for the prompt because I enjoyed writing it too. Cx

    – Tuliptree

  • Lore and Oida (The Plume)
    Lore and Oida ...over 2 years ago

    defacate money. i like like that:)

    how about decafinated money?:)

  • Shit and poo drop from your vocabulary once you have become head clerk! Decaffeinated money – top. You or I should use that idea soon.
    Thanks for reading! Cx

    – Tuliptree

  • bearwings
    bearwingsover 2 years ago

    great breakfast laugh, thank you, all of them typos we do came to light, well dome ….I mean done.

  • Absolutely – see how much trouble you can get into if you don’t check your spelling?! Glad you enjoyed it and thank you for reading!

    – Tuliptree

  • Andy Smerdon
    Andy Smerdonover 2 years ago

    hahaha – never try to rob a bunch of nerds with a misspelt (misspelled?) note. Awesome Tuliptree :)

  • Thank you very much! I like to think this is how I would approach the situation of being a cashier during a bank robbery (puzzle nerd that I am :-) ). Do you know The Talking Out of Tarrington by Saki? Same but different and I think I might feel compelled to do that as well!

    – Tuliptree

  • ian osborne
    ian osborneover 2 years ago

    Great! Don’t we all love bungling slapstick criminals? Glad to see that Bill managed to extricate himself from that coffin to provide us with more entertainment. What a coup to have found two characters whom will be able to feature again in the future. Great idea, I must think of some!
    An early Woody Allen film has a similar scene which you might enjoy!

  • Yes we do! Thank you! Poor Alf had some unpleasant trials and errors but he found Bill in the end. I do know that bit in Take the Money and Run, actually, and I did have it in mind. The problem is that I don’t really know anything about crime and I have to nick things from films – the coffin idea is from the Great Train Robbery. That said, I’m not too worried as I don’t think Agatha Christie knew anything about crime either!

    – Tuliptree

  • Colleen2012
    Colleen2012over 2 years ago

    Well done – a great comical sketch. FAVED.
    Love Colleen2012

  • Thank you, Colleen! Do have a look at the other missing letter offerings if you feel like it:

    – Tuliptree

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