Edward Cullen Is Not Real.

There are no blood-red roses and moonlit walks at midnight.

There is no dude out there whose deathly-pale skin sends chills down your spine when he touches you.

There is no one out there with eyes that glow golden when he’s hungry/sexually aroused.

There is absolutely no guy who is going to love you for “eternity”.

Or stay as attractive and fit as he was at 17 forever.

And one day your boobs are going to sag and your face will wrinkle, too.

There is no mysterious, burdened, hunk who is going to come crashing through the highschool window, pick you up in his strong, vampiric arms and rescue you from 4th period study hall.

He isn’t lightening fast and if you’re in complete traumatic trouble, he’s clueless.


So wake the fuck up, girls.

he’s a modern-day prince charming of a lie.



“Of COURSE he plays the piano. What was I thinking!?”

Thanks, but I can fight off my own damn werewolves.

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Edward Cullen Is Not Real. by 


  • skeletalbird
    skeletalbirdover 5 years ago

    edward is an empty vessel into which we can pour our hopes and dreams

  • paigev99
    paigev99about 5 years ago

    He’s Real 2 Me x

  • Darcygirl
    Darcygirlalmost 5 years ago

    l think you’ve just destroyed every girls dream.

  • My goal was to save them from dilusional expectations from men, but hey. That works too. :)

    – tonyanicole

  • Alice Oates
    Alice Oatesalmost 5 years ago

    It’s not like people think he actually exists…there’s nothing wrong with making life more interesting by loving a book and thinking one of the characters in it is awesome, even if that’s in a slightly obsessive way! Hey, most of them are teenagers…that’s what teenagers do…better that obsessed over edward than an actualy guy I reckon!

  • I am not implying that people think he exists. It is the idea of this modern-day prince charming figure who just happens to have eyes that glow in the dark that is being put into these young, developing women the same way as a girl I grew up with the subconscious image of mister charming sweeping me off my feet and taking me away to ‘Happily Ever After’. There are people of all ages, it’s ridiculous. Watch the news when the next movie comes out. I find it disturbing. It’s okay if you don’t understand my point.

    – tonyanicole

  • Alice Oates
    Alice Oatesalmost 5 years ago

    I get your point, and despite being an avid twilight fan myself i admit to finding it just a little scary some of the reactions to films and Edwards and twilight stuff in general lots of people have. However, every girl can dream of her modern day Prince Charming…we just tend to respond a little differently to the idea now :)

  • tonyanicole
    tonyanicolealmost 5 years ago


  • GoWabbit
    GoWabbitover 3 years ago

    Of course he is real – I am married to him :)

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