Give to Charity

ToastedGhost
Author: ToastedGhost
Word Count: 281
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Give to Charity

This is the first new poem I have written in the last 6 years, please go easy on me.

Give to Charity belongs to the following groups:

***♂♥♥QUORN♥♥♀ and Sci Fi

I heard an “OUCH’
from my couch
as I settle to watch TV
Am on my own tonight
are my ears deceiving me?
I stab the remote
to keep my head a float
maybe it’s the whisky
talking to me
or something I’d eaten
that would disagree
I’ll change the channel
to ITV
Then there’s a moan
was that the phone
Did the phone just groan?
this has to happen when I’m alone
A bag of crisps go flying
cascading through the air
when sudden sharp pain
stabs me
you know where
My sofa has decided after years of neglect
that its debts were over due
it was time to collect
Its arms they fold across my waist
sucking me inwards
I must make haste
What is that red stuff?
Tomato paste?
Oh my God
Its human waste
I knew that it was folly to buy second hand
the sofa that I wanted I could not afford the brand
And so I bought this sick sofa
with its now obvious wicked past
The salesman refused to answer
all the questions that I asked!
but is this the bitter end
to be swallowed by my sofa
I wouldn’t care I’ve never been a loafer
I have to fight back
but it all justs goes black
my world turns quite hazy
I have gone mad
totally crazy?
The silence seems for years
but then compounds my fears
when I hear the muffled voices
and footsteps that drawn near
“Oh yes it’s a quality sofa
there’s a lot of life left in this one
I’m sure you’ll find it fun
why not take it home with you
and give it a dry run?”

  • atomikboy

    atomikboy

    It’d make a great clay animation short…haha!!!, love it.

  • Mel Brackstone

    Mel Brackstone

    Oooo…..nice work!!!

  • Wil Southers

    Wil Southers

    haha, wow, nice!

  • ltruskett

    ltruskett

    very funny…...........

  • susi lawson

    susi lawson

    Yep, our sofas are definitely consuming us, mine is hungry I must got sit down now…
    Cool poem!

  • helene ruiz

    helene ruiz

    well said

  • Keith Reesor

    Keith Reesor

    Very visually entertaining poem TG!!

  • tkrosevear

    tkrosevear

    whiskey or not,
    I like what you got…
    in your head that is ;) xoxoxox

  • Gregory John O'Flaherty

    Gregory John O...

    LOL… there are new life forms evolving in many a used couch…

  • peyote

    peyote

    ARGH!
    Well just in case its true its just as well i dont sit on my sofa! hahaha
    Very clever Mr Toast xXx

  • tjtalent

    tjtalent

    very clever… you’re work always seems to flow so well x

  • ArcadiaTempest

    ArcadiaTempest

    Spooky sofa…...I will not be buying any!!! LOL :)

  • owlspook

    owlspook

    LOL … kinda reminds me of this sofa I had, second hand of course (grin), where if you sat on it you would sink into it .. totally uncomfortable but it was free LOL

  • Leon  Walker

    Leon Walker

    Hahahah… Very clever writing!!!

  • Rhinovangogh

    Rhinovangogh

    I really like your playful style. Cheers, Rhino

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Tags:

couch, sofa and toastedghost