As a way to counter these cultural caricatures of “real men”, here is a list of what actual men do who embody the Sacred Masculine we’ve discussed in the book.
Real Men work to save the planet, and like any prophet, take the attacks that standing up for a moral cause invariably brings about.
Real men love the Sky. They are curious and eager to learn about the new cosmology, and they share their excitement with others, especially the young.
Real men meditate. They are not afraid to look inside and see the vastness that is there.
Real men awaken their mammalian brain to remain connected to their compassion, rather than let the win/lose mentality of the reptilian brain take over.
Real men treat youth with respect. Real men sport a Fatherly heart.
Real men love their bodies. They work to keep them healthy, honoring their Temple with good food and cleansing exercise. They stand up to the ways and poisons of corporate food and corporate agriculture that fill our bodies and those of our children with toxic sugars and chemicals (such a hydrogenated oils).
Real men enjoy sex and taste the delights of ravisher and ravishee.
Real men are not homophobic (or heterophobic). They acknowledge and respect the diversity of creation, which includes sexual diversity.
Real men seek to expand their consciousness. They get to know the Blue Man inside, increase their powers of imagination and creativity, and exhibit compassion.
Real men listen to music and are unafraid to follow the inner journeys of joy and grief, celebration and community, surprise and elegance that it inspires.
Real men are warriors, not soldiers. They learn to battle (jihad) with one self first, to overcome the temptations of power for power’s sake, greed, power-over and power-under. They seek power-with (compassion).
Real men wage peace, not war. Real men know that peace is harder to wage than war, and that waging peace begins in one’s own heart.
Real men enter war reluctantly, as a last resort.
Real men send young men to war reluctantly, as a last resort.
Real men practice solitude.
Real men are not afraid of the “dark night of the soul.” They do not run from it but know that darkness has important things to teach them.
Real men criticize institutions (including religious ones) that wage lies and wars that poison the true meaning of justice and religion.
Real men defend what they cherish, including space, children, grandchildren, Earth, and all her marvelous creatures.
Real men communicate with younger and older generations, and they listen as deeply as they teach.
Real men use all the brains God has given them – the intellectual and rational brain and the intuitive and mystical brain.
Real men remain curious and alive and are always learning, and they hunt for ways to heal and preserve what is good and beautiful.
Real men have inclusive families. They expand the Fatherly Heart to take in and welcome all people.
Real men are fathers to the young. They embrace their children and other children, and they remember the “extended family” of tribal memory.
Real men, when they become elders, refire. They don’t retire. They join forces with the youngest generation.
Real men respect women. They respect the women in their lives and the women’s movement’s fight for justice and gender equality for all women.
Real men befriend other men.
Real men do not shame themselves or other men about their masculinity.
Real men channel their aggression in ways that do not harm themselves or others.
Real men stand up to addictions that dictate to their soul, and they do the inner work necessary to detox inside.
Real men experience their emotions. They don’t run from their emotions.
Real men honor the passages of life with meaningful rituals.
Real men are generous, not hoarding.
Real men embrace the Divine Feminine in themselves. They know all humans are a sacred marraige of masculine and feminine, and they commit to knowing and nurturing this balance for a lifetime.
This list speaks not just about what real men do but about what real men are at the level of our beings… Matthew Fox (awakening the Sacred Masculine)
My husband, Lynn has finished reading “The Hidden Spirituality of Men” by Matthew Fox and he was quite impressed with this particular exerpt defining “Real Men”…
I am truly grateful to be married to and knowing so many “real men” here on redbubble!