A Bawdy Ballad..

There’s beautiful women
I tasted my share
With a feckless abandon
half clothed and bare
In county’s and parishes
City’s towns near and far
In hay sheds and soft beds
And the back de auld car

Toor a loo toor a lay
I whistled and charmed them
And bid them to stay

I had a fondness for a red head
With her pale freckled skin
Her moods could be moody
She thought love was a sin
I got tired of the guilt after
The toss in the hay
So l abandoned the nest
And bid her good day.

Toor a loo toor a lay
I abandoned the nest
left the bird in the hay.

I then tried a teacher
Headmistress of her school
With her black leather bikini
Her stick, and her rule’
She was mad into punishment
Pain and de whip
So I snuck out the window
And gave her the slip.

Toor a loo toor a lay
I slipped out the window
and vanished away

Miss Roberts been a jockey
On the plains of Kildare
So I rode her like a stallion
This lovely grey mare
She kicked and she quickened
When the post was in sight
And left me exhausted
On manys the night

Toor a loo toor a lay
We won all the races
As we galloped away

The girl from Tobago
Tasted of palm oil and spice
With an electric hair style
And teeth white and nice
But the heat in her cabin
Made me sweat and perspire
In the end deflated
I had to retire.

Toor a loo toor a lay
Dark , hot and spicy
And too hot for t’ play.

’Twas over in London
On the banks of the Thames
Strolling down Soho
I spotted one of dem dames
She invited me up
To lay down in her bed
But she wanted to charge me
So I declined instead

Toor a loo toor a lay
I turned out the red light
As she asked me to pay.

Why would you pay
For the thing that is free
It’s not that I am mean
’Tis the principle I see
For love is a gift
A game played for fun
And is not to be bargained
Or sold for a sum.

Toor a loo toor a lay
keep the cash in your pocket
and point blank never pay.

Call me a fool
A rake or a blade
A cockerel that crows
Till hen she has laid
Ah with some I laid longer
till the situation got stale
And my feet they grew itchy
On this hot blooded male

Toor a loo toor alay
When me feet they got itchy
I no longer could stay.

But the love of the lot
I never asked her her name
But she laugh so much
At our stupid auld game
Tattooed on her arse
In Celtic lettering I saw
To hell with auld England
Heres to Erin go Bragh.

Toor a loo toor a lay
Mó Cailín deas dana
Sí grá geal mo chroí

I am heading for 60
I am mad for it still
I’ve a new lease of life
With this new fangled pill
It keeps things from falling
If theres dangle at all
Till I rattle the net
With the spit from my ball.

Toor a loo toor a lay
we’ll score in the bedroom
all night and all day.

So all you lovely ladies
Why not give me a call
I won’t promise miracles
When were having a ball
For life’s not for ever
Just one short little spin
So knock on my door
Your welcome ,come in .

Toor a loo toor a lay
Squeeze the feck out of life
Or you’ll regret it some day.

A Bawdy Ballad..


Muckross Killarney, Ireland

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