Cynical and Sarcastic

cynical and sarcastic is how you see me.
logical and thoughtful is how you want me.
but I drown in dreams
and languor in music and
sigh in science and thought
and sleep on past-lives and cover
myself with metaphysics that you
don’t understand and don’t want to
know as I seek them like a dying man for a bible.

Cynical and Sarcastic?
That’s what I say when I’m around you. Logical and Thoughtful
is what you can glean from the spaces between my armor
that show when I stretch out like a cat in the sun.
I’m sorry that you seem to ignore me when I say what I feel.
I’m sorry I say it and cause that poignant silence,
Poignant because I can feel your thoughts,
feel them thinking about not responding,
not responding because you don’t know who this is,
this dreamy, languorous, sighing, sleepy girl,
more at home in sunshine and dreams than on
a concrete sidewalk
or an office building or
a party or a church or an
aerospace museum.

But I suppose you’ll see what you want
your eyes to show you,
no matter what else happens,
So I’ll live my life away from you the way I need
and I’ll come home and be logical and cynical
sarcastic and thoughtful
whatever else seems profitable.
I’m sorry.

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