Sir Nigel's Grand Finale

Act l
Sir Nigel Dalrymple’s stage whisper was loud enough for the entire audience to hear. No matter. He’d trod the boards for over half a century and his public was very forgiving of his failing memory.
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio!” came the reply from the prompter in the wings unseen by the audience, followed by “you old cretin” for Sir Nigel’s ears only. Alas, even the words of the Noble Bard himself were sometimes lost in the labyrinth of Sir Nigel’s memory.
Sir Nigel’s Hamlet was legendary. He’d performed it more times than he cared to remember. He gave an internal wry smile at the irony of that phrase. The twenty-something prompter had shown a tad too much impatience and disrespect throughout rehearsals for Sir Nigel’s liking. “Never mind. Onward.” He thought and continued.

Act ll
“What a piece of work is a man! You moron” Sir Nigel allowed himself a glare in the direction of the lad who simply sneered at him in repost.

Act lll
“To be or not to be, that is the question. For God’s sake have you even read the play?”
Sir Nigel couldn’t bear any more insolence. His audience could hear every word. He’d make the lad pay for this humiliation.

Act 1V
Sir Nigel looked towards the concealed Prompter and was ready for him.
“Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him Horatio!” The prompter virtually shouted this time. “Oh Jesus, you’ve forgotten the prop. You’re supposed to have his skull”
“Ah, time for improvisation methinks.” Sir Nigel strode to stage left, unsheathed his sword and with one almighty swing removed the Prompter’s head which hurtled into the air above the stage. With considerable élan, Sir Nigel sprung to centre stage, caught the bloody, spinning thing and held it on the palm of his hand. “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him Horatio.” He continued amidst the screaming.
He might be losing his memory, Sir Nigel mused to himself, but he always knew what made good theatre. Bring on the reviews!

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Written in response to the prompt “prompt” for Twisted Tales Star Twister 89,



Brian Varcas was born in Liverpool and now lives in South Wales with his wife, Sarah and 3 cats who rule the roost, Rosie, Ruby and Smudge.

Brian writes short stories, often with a Sci Fi bent, and dabbles in digital art.

He gets unreasonably irritated whenever his name is written as “Brain”.

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  • sandra .
    sandra .about 3 years ago

    Touché, Sir Nigel :)
    A great twister. Brian

  • Thank you Sandra. Glad you liked it :-)

    – Brian Varcas

  • ian osborne
    ian osborneabout 3 years ago

    great twist Brian and a memorable version it must have been!

  • Cheers Ian. Yes we’re both treading the boards with this prompt.

    – Brian Varcas

  • Mark Bateman
    Mark Batemanabout 3 years ago

    That was fantastic :) Well done you.. I bought a book for my wife entitled something like “Today, tell a great big whopping lie” – all in the full intention of increasing creativity of course! And you’ve done that here. Cool!!

  • Cheers Mark, glad you liked it. The ability to lie is a crucial weapon in the aspiring writer’s armoury. :-)

    – Brian Varcas

  • Alison Pearce
    Alison Pearceabout 3 years ago

    Excellently written and a brilliant twist!

  • Thanks so much Alison, I really appreciate your comment.

    – Brian Varcas

  • DBA Lehane
    DBA Lehanealmost 3 years ago

    Bravo! Encore!

  • Thanks Darren.

    – Brian Varcas

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