Its sunday morning around 9 o clock
when the dreaded words are said
“We’re off to visit Granny today”
The children’s feet turn to lead.
Its quiet and its chilly
theres a blanket on her knees
she looks at you with an icy stare
and aims at you a sneeze.
You sit as still as you can
with a smile on your face
hoping that your nails are clean
and your hair is all in place.
“So what have you been up to?
You’ve grown a lot, i see
No doubt its all that mischief making
there’ll be none of that near me.”
You shake your head from side to side,
“Why, Granny, We’ve been very good,
We’ve been playing with our toys
and dolls as quite we should.”
“Do not shake your heads at me,
you insolent little child.
You are like ruffians and scrubs
you’re mad, messy and wild.”
You see Old granny is quite mean
she’s a nasty piece of work
If you make a tiny noise
old granny goes berserk
so when we visit granny,
we must creep on tippy toes
else old granny will hear us
and crinkle up her wrinkly nose
she’ll shout and point her finger
and at once we’ll turn to stone
The best thing of all to do
is to leave old Granny alone.
There’ll be no cowboys and indians
No building of great towers
Instead we’ll play ‘being quiet’
It can go on for hours and hours
There’ll be no doctors and nurses
or playing teachers and schools
because mean old granny
will bend and change the rules
Theres no point in taking a doll
or even thinking of kicking a ball
unless you are in a tidying mood
or feel like dusting the hall.
There is no room at Grannys for music
especially not the drums
as Granny will instead insist
that you sit and twiddle your thumbs
She wont let you do any drawing
or race some little toy cars
for if indeed you did that
she’d hoover up the stars!
So now how to deal with Granny?
How to make it fun?
Its getting very serious now
so something must be done.
We’ll make her a cup of tea
and get her some biscuits too
We’ll warm her fluffy slippers
And we’ll take her to the zoo!
We’ll find a purring cat
to sit upon her lap
We’ll buy a tv paper
and we’ll have a little nap.
We’ll stand side by side and sing
a song thats by Sinatra Frank
And of course we’ll say our pleases,
and not forget to thank.
We’ll fetch some knitting needles
and we’ll flip on the telly
We’ll fill the place with pot pourri
even though its really smelly
And then all of a sudden
a smile will appear on her face
Granny will jump u high
and challenge us to a race!
She’ll paint her face into a tiger
and she’ll blow up some balloons
And then we’ll tie our legs together
and race with eggs and spoons
We’ll see who can kick higher
the ball into the air
and then we’ll make muddy pies
and put them in our hair.
She’ll climb the highest tree
and she’ll zoom by on a bike
She’ll cartwheel, curtsy and handstand
as many times as you like.
She’ll make a fantastic den
and she’ll fill it high with toys
and then she’ll dance around with them
whilst making lots of noise.
She’ll sing at the top of her voice
and jump right up and down
and then she’ll play hide and seek
and dress up as a clown.
She’ll play tig/tag or Dobby
and of course she will win
and then she’ll stand as still as ever
before she’ll do a spin.
Atlast it will be time to go
though you’ll never want to leave
I’d run on home if i were you
for what’s up Granny’s sleeve?
she wants a big cozy cuddle
and a big sloppy kiss
And oh no! Its a water pistol
And she’s never been known to miss.
A story about one Sunday morning when the children go to visit thier scary, old Granny. It turns out she’s not so scary after all!