'Twas the Night Before Bubbling
A Bubbler’s fun spoof of the world renowned Christmas poem.
‘Twas the night before Bubbling and all through the site
There were people uploading in big mega-bites.
The postings were done with the greatest of care,
In hopes that approvals soon would be there.
Descriptions were written and comments were read,
While visions of sales danced in their heads.
Mama posted portraits and I did a cat,
We both grabbed a coffee but needed a nap.
When out in the forums arose such a clatter
We sprang to our screens to see what was the matter!
I clicked on the window, and watched as it flashed
Tore open the new thread to be up on the trash.
When I saw a breast in the new-posted show
A sensual curve causing comments to grow.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A fractal with photo, and nice Christmas cheer.
The sexy young artist, so lively and quick
I knew in a moment this must be a trick.
More pretty than eagles, this artist she came,
But titled her artwork with terrible names:
“You Moron”, “You BirdBrain”, “You Absolute Twit”
“You HyperSpace Dognose”, You Ugly Dumbshit”
“To the top of the charts, and the ‘Best All-time’ wall!
Be favorited everywhere, and featured by all!”
And then in a twinkling I saw on my screen
Her artwork was awful, the worst there has been!
The cheeks were unfocussed, the lighting while merry
was useless and worthless, like pits in the cherries.
The cropping was pointless, the colours were weak,
I wanted to comment, but what could I speak?!
“Good timing,” I told her, and “this one’s unique,”
She really is clueless, she has no technique :(
She wrote me right back and I felt like a jerk,
“You’re being too nice. It’s my ugliest work!
I was testing you, silly, to see what you’d write,
You’re worthy of Bubblers, an artist’s delight!”
She put me on “Watchlist”, and though nobody knows,
I put her on mine, ‘cause that’s how friendships grow.
Then I heard her exclaim as she flashed out of site,
“Merry Christmas all Bubblers, and to all a good night!”
____
A Christmas morning creation for all,
by someone who can’t be with his family today,
but would desperately love to be there.
Ted
Ann Palframan
This is so well written, Ted. I think “HyperSpace Dognose” is going to be my insult of choice for 2009! Poignantly sad ending:(
Ted Widen replied
First, I have to say thank you for taking the minutes required to read it… I have to assume that most bubblers are not into reading, since you are the first to comment after it’s been up for 10 days. I hope you weren’t throwing that terribly deflating new insult at ME!! :) :)