Welcome to my Bar...What Can I Get You?

you are barred from my bar! : P

it’d have to be a Foster’s i think, we only serve 70s beers here….60/70s music is encouraged… : )

It’d have to be a Harvey Wallbanger…do you have any Swizzles from the Birdcage? sounds fabulous… : )

: )

i realise that your offer is a virtual one, just as i can only offer a virtual drink at my private bar : ) i couldn’t find a player on your page, am i missing something there? there should be music no?

it’s just my own personal, private bar, that’s all. not a real one people can go to, unfortunately. : )

i think roulette is more the go here… : D

you must join flower and i in the swizzle stick t-shirt challenge!!
i’d love to see your bar, too bad it’s gone, but to a good home by the sounds…
to post photos, right click on the photo, click properties, select and copy the url of the photo, then paste it where you want to put it, with an exclamation point at the beginning and end – no spaces in between.
there’s a laundrette on st.kilda road that has the exact same curtains – and they’ve even painted the front window to match them!
god i wanted that purple wall for ages. it’s not the exact shade i wanted, couldn’t find that anywhere….
here’s your Lemon Lime and Bitters, sweets, enjoy!
you’re welcome at my bar anytime, lovely. ; D

spot on. just evokes an era and a style that i am very fond of. : )

or is it a night-spot? a boite, perhaps? no too pretentious…it’s a happening, baby, that’s what it is… : )

how about i pour it into a fantastic ceramic beer stein for you, with a german hunting scene on the side. a bit classier that way… ; )

i wouldn’t let you in wearing anything else, mein herr ; )

nein nein, der polka, naturlich! mit de 60s beat, nein?!

ok, just wear whatever you want, as long as it has style, or rather, pinache…

hee hee…what cologne would you be wearing? Tabac? Brut 33? or just the smell of moustache sweat and polyester…

ooh don’t get your medalion caught in that rug! and how remiss of me, i haven’t offerd you any chees with a toothpick in it, or a cocktail onion, or cocktail cherry, or perhaps you’d prefer half an orange, cut zig-zag style, with a cherry stuck in the middle of it? i have memories of those from every restaurant i went to as a kiddy in the 70s…

hee hee!!!i love how if you stick a toothpick in something, you can call it a “cocktail” whatever…a want to serve a tray of hot chips with toothpics in them. now they are “cocktail chips.”

are they wooden or coloured plastic?
i may also bring our a tray of kebana later (cabana?kebana?)....that weird greasy grisly tiny salami crap that my mum has at every family get together – does anybody eat that stuff?

ooh, just retched a little bit….
you have to check out this guy’s site
it’s hilarious. he has special sections on hideous food styling of the past. also check out the part on the art of art frahme, and the Gobbler – this motel is where my bar should really be….you will love this guy’s site, it’s loads of fun ; D

and what sort of drink would amanda like then? champagne cocktail perhaps? : )

thanks for popping in kathi! yes, post your swizzles too! join our swizzle challenge! let me just pop a pink paper umbrella in your cocktail, ; )

it’s all for you of course, so glad you could make it – fashionably late of course, but then one must make an entrance…ooh flower i am milimetres away from finsihing my painting. my neck is hurting from the exertion!!! but i’m nearly there!!! (unless i wake up tomorrow, look at it and think – why did i do that last night??)

ha ha

what’s with the new persona?

cool. what does ramrodd drink? something really tough, with guarana and caffeine and monkey glands in it…

oh you are awful!! i nearly dropped the paintbrush i am clenching between my teeth, cos i was laughing….
ramrodd you knucklehead! ; D

i agree, how about the yellow cane-shaped swizzle stick with the little whistle on the end, in case you see anyone who catches your eye, or in case you need to whistle for help. : )

hee hee ; ) you’d get on well with my mate Captain Lychee. one of his eyes is made of glass. it’s so good though, you can’t tell.

it’s been nice having you visit my bar, ramrodd, just not sure where you fit in the dress code here – i suppose nude with chest hair, mo and tattoos is a look…as long as your not teaming it with lycra bicycle shorts. maye a pair of torn cut-off jeans hot-pants? i’d make an exception to the denim rule for that.no, i;ve got it! leather chaps! of course. ; P

hmm, might have to introduce a special night at the bar: “Leather, Metal, and Ink.” ; )

your name’s on the door. oh and if i need a bouncer, i might call on you. just until i’m huge enough myself, you understand…

yes female ladies – they have everythig nowdays! ; P

you’re such a legend, i might even have to name a cocktail in your honour – this was all inspired by you anyway. i had a ovely drink recently with gin and elder flower essence – that could be you, it’s flowery. the mocha-choca latte is one of our specialities – and the ya-yas are always complimenart of course. i’m working on a new cointreau cocktail, the lady marmalade. i’m so excited to have had so many lovely guests at my bar ; D

Lisadee, a pimm’s it is! please pull up a plastic moulded chair, or would you prefer something inflatable? or a hanging basket chair? i do have one and must add a pic! so nice you could swing by and brighten up the place : D

welcome to the bar nicole, a V,L and S for you – nice choice, i might join you. would you feel better if i turned all all my sparkly pretty lights, just for you, and played your favourite song? : )

you think the cover is funny? lady i wish i could show you some of the stuff inside!!! whiskey coming right up, can i add a cocktail umbrella just to make it a lttle more femmy? or are you not bothered? ; D

Carmen welcome! can i offer you a virtual champers? and maybe i’ll put one of those lovely crysanthemum buds in the bottom for a little colour and style and a hint of exotic flavour ; D

Virtual Black Russian coming up for the lovely lady, so glad you coud swing by, you’re welcome anytime : D

you really know how to get the party started flower. although i must admit i think i still prefer the original version. ooh Labelle! and yes, we do serve Magnolia Wine here. we don’t have air conditioning, but we do have good looking boys waving large fans over us – will that do?. ; D

my pleasure, would a sparkler in your drink and a game of twister lift your spirits? i’ve been having a hard time too, i’m sure it would take my mind off things. : )

i must also post a pic of “bumpy crazy bump ball!” it’s an 60s inflatable ball with nodules on it for use at parties – one of those games that’s just an excuse to rub up against people….just mind your dangly medalions don’t get caught in my beehive while we’re playing twister! ; D

you’re a champ! we’ll keep a stool warm for you – if that’s not too disgusting a thought. i should close up for a while too. have guests coming later and the house is a pigsty!!! see ya soon, sweets ; D

you’re too kind : )

especially for you i have consulted The Happy Mixer, and i have made you the Gold Logie Cocktail for this auspicious ocassion.
it’s a heady brew comprising of galliano, goldwasser, lemon juice, and pineapple juice, in a tall glass garnished with lemon jelly crystals.
i am customising it for you with the yellow cane swizzle (with whistle attached), a yellow cocktail umbrella, and a sparkler…i’m leaving it here on the bar for you – just don’t let the sparkler burn down too low or it might melt the jelly crystals and make it all sticky. i have also switched on all my sparkliest lights for you..enjoy, talented flower! ; D

oh god! i wish!!! i could sandwich you between two inflatable sofas – would that do? ; )

stop by anytime! : D

well you’ve read my mind, cos i’ve always longed for a lightup dance-floor…sigh…i wish…i do have something alomng those lines, i will post at another date. : )

here’s your JD pretty lady. glad you found The Bubble Bar. You’re welcome anytime. : D

well funny you should say that – i have a set of Synsonics drums, like the ones featured in every new romantic song of the early 80s – is that what you mean? i’m sure i could crank them up for you to do a little solo on. : D

virtual cigars are certainly permitted in this bar. Your Laphroaig, no ice, sir – you didn’t say no cocktail umbrella, did you? i’m afraid i have a compulsion to put them in every drink. pull up a plastic stool, or inflatable sofa…or hanging basket chair…glad you could drop in…: D

oh my god! how could i have never heard that before! and me a disco connoisseur!??? if you like that, you may also like Little Lady’s favourite song lady can really sing too, she goes right off at the end… : D

honey vodka! now you’re talking my language! very nice with a cloudy apple juice too…a lovely summery drink. can i put a cocktail umbrella in that for you sir? ; D

well you are in luck! the red transparent one between the one and two o’clock positions is just such a swizzle! quite the alluring plastic lady…; D

and of course, also on the list this has to be right up there…: DDDDD

lady you must be reading my mind! i was thinking about the top dance-floor filling songs i would love to play at my bar and that song was in my top five! classic!!! LOVE IT!!! i even have a psychedelic catsuit i bought when it came out, cos i so wanted to be just like The Lady Miss Keir Kirby. she is awesome.

friday night is catsuit night at the Bubble Bar – for ladies and gents…and anyone else…. : ) that’s a cracker! i’ve justr changed into my psychedlic number and go-go boots. ; )

oh yeah. i remember that one…this is another fave of mine (a bit more recent), and one of Little Lady’s favourites too, as she’s mentioned in it : )

where’s ramrodd? he’s supposed to be my bouncer until my own muscles get big enough for the job!
maybe we should change into some platforms cos i’m feeling like doing a bit of stomping to this.....? : )

welcome kitsumma! what would you like frm the bar?
ah haven’t heard that track in a while. classic.
may i make so bold as to suggest that now there are a few of us here, we all partake in a bit of this sure you know the steps : D

can i make you a “Bossom Caresser” another one from the Happy Mixer…: D

ah, i can’t see the picture, just a box with an x in it??? repost or describe!!

oh god, good choice, i loooove glam so much. i see your sweet and raise you this, easy on the old is old Marc…bless him….; D

how about i make you a “Yachtsman’s Punch” out of the Happy Mixer, it’s got enough fruit in it to sink a ship, and enough alcohol to kill any bacteria…: )

oh god, is that that guy whose arm “exploded”? don’t let him near my date, he’s delicate.
don’t worry, if you are feeling hot, we have good-looking boys who wave large fans over us here, isn’t that right Flower? : D

there was a doco on him. it was nauseating! he videoed himself “operating” on his arm after it got infected and kind of blew up….it was not pretty…i’m sure you’d find him on youtube, but don;t watch it on a full stomach… : O

welcome David, and here’s your beer. i’ve put it in a very classy ceramic beer stain for you, with hunting scenes on the side. : ) do you know Flower and Kitsmumma?

yeah, seriously, not something you want to see unless you’re feeling a bit ghoulish and can’t get onto rotten.com…but changing the subject….how’s everyone off for drinks? nibbles? would you like some cheese with toothpics in?

only once in the toilets…hee hee ; P

Flower is a sensational artist, very funny and entertaining lady, all round fabulous gal. Kitsmumma i’ve only just met, but she seems just as fab….: D

I’d like to make you a “lanky yank,” it’s a cocktail tribute to Don Lane featured in the Happy Mixer. sounds divine!

oh didn;t i mention, there are a few “security” cameras in the bar…
; P

damn it ladies and David, i’m gonna have to get off to bed, have to bloody work in the morning. but i’m going to leave the bar open for you because i trust you. so enjoy yourselves, the bar is at your disposal. hope to see you all here again soon….tania departs through beaded curtains…..

Mandarine Napoleon, grand marnier, orange juice and pineapple juice…in a tall glass of course…i’ll just a leave a jug of it here that i’ve shaken up for you : D

ooh kitsmumma, you know there;s a no denim rule here don’t you? but as it’s catsuit night i’ll allow it – it’s virtually a whole body denim jumpsuit…. see you soon! thanks for dropping by : D

night flower, always a pleasure and a delight : D

good night david! thanks for coming, you are welcome anytime. : D

ah we’re just closing MT, but here’s a beer for you, german beer stain as usual – you know you;’ve got your own personal stein here now. i’m off to bed, work in the morning damn it. hope to catch you back here soon. and bring your fave dance tunes next time! : D

thanks! and thanks for addig me to your watchlist! : D

oh how i long for a bedazzler of my own….one day…you lucky lady!
: D

oh and thanks for adding me to your watchlist, lovely Kitsmumma : D

cheers, and help yourself to another beer if you want. : D nitey night

come back soon wendy. i’d love iy if you would get behind the bar sometime and mix us up some of your favourite classics. mind how you go : D

tell me about it!!! i adore it…and not just for pervy reasons ; ) best art direction and costumes ever!!! i want to live in that show!
can i get you something to drink john? i was just leafing through The Happy Mixer, and i thought the “Nipple Wonder” cocktail might go with the swizzle stick you chose.

oh wow, Kitsmumma! it’s exactly what i had in mind! how very kind of you. in appreciation of that, you are now a VIP member of the Bubble Bar. i am handing you a virtual keyring in the shape of a snazzy swizzle stick. you’re a legend! : DDDDDD

you’ve slept here MT i admire your style. but please, next time just pull up an inflatable sofa, much more comfy : ) and you know your private stein is always waiting for you, clean and germanic under the bar ; )

hm, well i thought maybe you’d like to do a little deejaying…? if you’re not too tired….link us up to a few of your chilled out faves maybe?
i haven’t come up with a theme for tonight…any suggestions?
/shakes cocktail shaker, pours colourful drink into tall glass

i’ll just put your stein in the fridge, and get some cocktail chips ready for when you get back…

wow, this looks the business, here was i thinking you would stroll back in with a little portable turntable….i’m impressed…is it ok if i pay you in virtual beer or cocktails?

whenever you take your top and and shake it, baby.
welcome sir, what are you drinking? i made a shaker of “Nipple Wonder” for John Thunderbird, am i safe in assuming you would like some of this too?

i cannae hear anything! the link isn;t making any sounds!! do you need more alcohol to sort things out?

i thought i’d also set this up on the turntable, especially for you ; )

that matmos track rocks. really floats my boat. good pick! would you like a piece of chees with a toothpick in it?

i think you are the most literate dj i’ve ever met

well as a fellow renaissance person i think you can have several artistic passions and be good at them all.
still ok on beer, no cocktails? my cocktail-shaking hand is getting restless….
let me try that link again. the page came up but no music or player…

ah yes, now we’re cooking, i’ve got summertime on…very tasty : )
what program do you use to make your music?
/sips cocktail, nealry stabs self in eye with paper umbrella, hopes no-ine has noticed

will this do?
/pulls steaming fondue pot filled with a cheesey concoction out from under the bar with one hand, while the other produces a tray full of chunks of crusty bread, kebana, and an array of vegetable morsels for dipping purposes…

john, would you care for some fondue?
/hands john a delightful fondue fork and a little red rammekin

/roy enters, drawn by the smell of cheesy fondue and the groovy sounds of MT’s djing
hi roy, what can i get you?

i used to have a mac with garage band on it and i loved it!! is there a pc equivalent? someone has promised to burn my FL studio…any good do you think
/attampts to stuff cheesy fondue bread in mouth, spills cheese down front, adjust dangly necklace to hide stain

scott walker is just so damn cosmopolitan and international. i suppose he smoked those french cigarettes like jason king and had swedish girlfriends…
/hands greg fondue fork and bowl, indicates steaming fondue pot on bar

are you in the mood for a “Virginal Sin?”

the g and t i can help you with. we have have a problem with the scantily-clad waitresses – the closest i could get is putting little skirts on my dogs….how come there are no other ladies here? last night it was all gals and no dudes, except for my date, Commander Ed Straker ; )

1 1/2 parts gin, 1 part Cocoribe (??) and 7 parts pineapple juice….
/shakes shaker, checks cleavage to make sure nothing has come adrift, pours cocktail into freshly frosted glass with a winning smile

um, in that case, i won’t say. we’ve moved on from solid cheese anyway, it’s all about the fondue now….
do you have any other musical suggestions at the mo greg?

interesting theory. one i’m not going to test. i’ll keep a look out for “man hands” that’s the easiest way. i like trannies anyway, so everyone’s welcome here. if all this is your way of testing the waters roy, please feel free to frock up. i wouldn’t bat an eyelid ; P

ya big girl.
/snatches drink back, skulls it. refills MT’s beer stein

here, you stick to what you know, little fella : )

cool. i’venever heard Hawkwind before.
how nice it is to have my favourite “Men of Redbubble” all together at the bar. : )
can i get you another beverage?
/attempts to lean head on chin but elbow slips off bar. looks embarassed

you could go behind the palm, we won’t look. i do admire your sense of occasion. it’s nice when peope dress up a bit. just give us a shout if you need a zuip-up : )

it’s been a long day of dog shaving. my arm is tired. honestly… ; )
have you had anything to drink yet?
you are making me look bad.
but i figure, if MT slept under the bar last night, i still seem respectable in comparison, right?
i’ve just put this on the turntable. hope you enjoy

no, i call everyone Little Fella. it;s a term of endearment! have you ever seen Dogs in Space, like the guy who calls everybody Little Fella…no offence meant, Super-Literate-Groovy-6-million-dollar-man-referencing-DJ! honest! : D

i wouldn;t normally allow leg shaving at the bar, but here’s a razor, knock yourself out…but, please try not to get any hair in the fondue pot : )

actually it’s burnt orange…i don;t know if it is quite tame…maybe you could perch, saucily, on the edge of it, show it its place….
i’ve noticed a little maid fetish with you…
funny how there isn;t really an equivalent butler fetish for ladies…or maybe there is…?

no!!!! what can i do to make you smile again??? how about this…it’s all for you!
/lifts up full keg from behind bar, inserts hose, holds it out gingerly, with a shy smile, to MT

another fab choice roy…i’m afraid i’m gonna have to go and feed my doggies and myself….a girl can’t live on fondue alone…
check in with youse later

me so sorry! are we friends again?
/batts eyelids, a christian dior tear rolls down immaculately made-up cheek
i catch you later, off to the trough myself.

can i put in a bulk order for 1000 of those?? : DDDDDDDDD

oooh EnaLu! so happy to see you back here! can i get you a virtual drink?? i still have a shaker full of “Nipple Wonder,” can i pour you a lgass and put a pretty umbrella in it for you? i’ll check out yuor swizzles right now! : D

either that or i’m virtually dyslexic…i had a little nap, feeling much better….
i tried your link – and i get a “redbubble cannot display this page” message….?

you’re a champ ; D
i would also accept swizzles or guests who look like this ; ))))

or, of course, this
r.i.p. J.P.L…..viva Diabolik!

wow, that’s scary, maybe she’s Martha’s love child…? although i can’t imagine what kind of weapons of mass destruction Condi would unleash if you tried to get her out of the power suits and into a gold lame frock…
if you like Shindig, this might tickle your whatsit…unforch, i couldn’t find the clip in isolation, so just scroll forward to the 5min25sec mark. that’s where it’s at.
did you know Teri Gar was a dancer on Shindig? gotta love 60s dancing…i think i’ll have to introduce a Go-Go night at the Bubble Bar…: )
ah, JPL, what a legend, and what a beauty….sigh….

why don’t i just give you your own key? after all, you are the official resident musical director of the Bubble Bar : D
/hands over sparkly light-up keyring, smiles. points to fresh beer keg with “Property of Muscular Teeth” painted on the side

i’ll have to get ramrodd in to frisk you…unless your pockets are portals to other dimensions and there’s no hope of ever finding the key again….
hang on, it’s flashing, so if i turn off the lights for a sec…maybe we can see it…?

that must be quite inconvenient. well how about i install a retina-recognition system and log you into it, so you won;t have to worry about keys anymore??? do you have retinas?
/pours self refreshing fruity punch, carefully avoids stabbing self in eye with swizzle stick

done! barcode it is, and what could be more fitting in a bar? : D
are you having a nice weekend?

/blushes demurely, opens bag of twisties, proffers them to MT
oh you! i’ve been meaning to ask you – how is your nose going? are you able to dive again yet?

fingers crossed fro a continued speedy recovery.
a friend of mine just had a big op to remove polyps from his nose and also some other parts of his nasal infrastructure. when they were operating they discovered that his nostrils – the actual hole in his skull- had grown shut, and they had to drill new holes in his skull! how freaky is that? still i guess it explains why he’s had so much trouble breathing, and so many infections and problems in the area….
/drinks punch, nibbles twistie, wipes yellow fingers on dress, hoping no-one notices

/blushes again, panics internally
this? on no, it’s just part of the design….
/desperately attempts to change the subject
i’m thinking of introducing a games night, getting out the Twister, Simon, Mastermind, and maybe even the Galaxy Invader 1000!!

hm, darts, yeah, i can see that….i don’t know if a pool table might scuff up the light-up dance-floor though….maybe i’ll do some extensions and have a separate pool room, a kind of gent’s retreat, with a sort of mock-tudor feel, lots of leather, and manly things…a wagon whell suspended from the ceiling with fake candles in it, etc…
/drinks punch, ponders the idea…
are you right for snacks? : )

/looks puzzled, fishes around under bar.
ah, here you go..
/hands over scissors

well i didn’t waste any time
you wanted a pool room here it is

oooh, i don’t know if i can allow that in the main bar…i have my virtual license to consider…
how about taking a stroll to the privacy of the pool room for your smoking convenience. smoking is permitted there – in fact it’s mandatory! you can admire the black velvet painting of the comely african lady behind the bar : )
you might also find something to eat there as well

i’d love to but i have to go to the airport to pick up my ma…maybe later? you have a practice and see what you think of the table…i can trust you to look after the bar while i’m away. have fun : D

of course! always room for a pretty lady. : D
a pint you say?
i’d anticipated something more…fancy for miss amanda…maybe you’d like a pint of some fabulous fruity cocktail?
but of course you can have beer if that’s what you’d like : D

what are you drinking, sir?
may i refresh your glass – honey vodka, right? : D
and please note we now have a manly pool room, and a perpetually steaming fondue pot (above)

well i’m told guiness has medicinal qualities too, and is probably the only kind of booze you can get a doctor to prescribe… catch you later : D

/runs to door, calls out after Malkman
sorry MT’s not here (unless he’s asleep under the bar again). check in again some time., cheeriebye!
/waves

/peers oput mysteriously through beaded curtains
ah, it’s you, you don’t need to knock, just wave your barcode under the scanner. come in…beer?
/doesn’t wait for reply, hoists keg onto bar, holds out hose to MT, with a smile

i’ve been preparing for our war. about to launch my first salvo…
/peers after swinging door, looks around empty bar
oh, he’s gone already….

/pulls out cork with a pop, pours lovely red into gorgeous glass, slides it across bar
there you go, pretty lady.
i’m just going to check out al neaimi’s page, we’ve had a bit of a collaboration and i haven’t seen what he’s done with my work yet. v excited! : D

yes we have non-alcoholic wines here (between you and me i don;t really drink either)....
/pours wine into gorgeous glass, stick paper umbrella in it, hands it to peyote
there you go, pretty lady. enjoy.
here’s to Derren Brown!

MT! welcome back!! do i need to even ask?
/hoists up beer keg with muscular arm. plonks it on bar.
knock yourself out buddy. : )

no spinach, just ‘roids.. hee hee..
oops i think i;m sitting on your feathery cap…thought something felt a bit ticklish…sorry.
/dusts off cap, reshapes it….hands it over gingerly…
i’m working on a new tee in the other room…but i’m not posting anything till this watchlist issue is sorted.

i’m always poking my eyes with umbrellas too. do you know MT? he is our resident musical director and german folk-dancer : ) every bar must have one!

I have to go and watch breaking bad. i’ll check in later…you stay and enjoy your drink peyote pal : )

yeah i posted a couple of tees and i thought the same thing. but margpie alerted me to the fact that her posts weren’t coming up on watchlists, and when i asked her, she said mine hadn’t come up on hers either…
of course, mine might still suck….
but she emailed the bubble bosses and they said it was happening a lot and someone was trying to fix it…it’s a pain in the ane for sure.
fingers crossed it gets fixed soon…how can we have our t-shirt war when we can’t see each other’s shirts?

a lovely mug of Horlicks? hee hee…
i’m off to bedeebyes meself, horrid work in the morning : (

i’ll just leave this honey vodka bottle and your special glass up here on the shelf for you, so you can just come by and help yourself to a drink anytime…how’s that sound…?
thanks for the watchlist add by the way, john : D

yeah, might be a self-service deal on that one, sweetheart ; )

ah, you’re a cheeky one…here you go, free drink for you…
/shakes cocktail shaker, pours out exotic and mysterious drink into tall glass, slides it across bar. smiles. : )