Tahnja

I wanted to share a little something special that happened to me today with my dear friends on RB to show the love, kindness and charity of one lovely lady.

As some of you know, I use to be a singer/songwriter/musician. I went to America for 3 years, recorded a CD and performed successfully all over the southern States. I had so many opportunities to hit the big time and yet every single one always fell through in some way or another.

When you sink your heart and soul, your every single moment working, practising, learning, writing, playing and performing and have some of the biggest and most respected people in the business believe in you and still nothing happens because you won’t compromise your morals and faith then it takes it’s toll. It did on me anyway.

When I returned home in 2004 I gave it all up. I had no more heart in me to go on with my music and I stopped. I’ve never even gotten up and sung in Church which is the only place I now want to sing. I just can’t find it in me to do it.

And when my electric piano gave up on me I lost even more heart. I still have my treasured guitar but haven’t touched it in a long time.

Then today I found hope again. One amazingly special lady who has a full sized synthesizer, brand new, looked me in the eye and said “if you still want it, it’s yours. Just paint me a painting for it.” And I was left speechless.

I know exactly what I want to do too. I can arrange music and it’s been in my heart to arrange the Church Hymns into songs full of soul, life and meaning. I want to sing the Hymns as my heart and soul hear them but first I have to learn them, then arrange them and then record them at my friends professional studio.

So for the first time in some years, I feel that maybe all those years of not feeling ever quite good enough, after giving up for the pain and grief I have been carrying, maybe, just maybe, God has shone a light on me to tell me that He wants me to use this gift He’s given me. Maybe, just maybe, He has shown me how He wants me to use my gift and that He never intended for me to live the life that I thought I wanted, but instead, was keeping me for His purpose, not my own.

In closing I just want to say that I would like my friends to see that even when we give up on ourselves…He never, ever gives up on us…..I love God with all my heart and I always will….....may He hold all of you in His loving arms as well…

Tahnja