Solid Advice: Part 2

SwaySlayer
Author: SwaySlayer
Word Count: 114
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Solid Advice: Part 2

My vitriolic-yet-practical rampage against proverbs continues.

Solid Advice: Part 2 belongs to the following groups:

All Things Poetic, Artistic, Philosophical, Lesbian and Bi-Women's Art and The Word Tree

Flattery will get you nowhere, which is why I always lead with cash.

Fortune favours the cookie.

He who laughs last laughs longest, but we all know he didn’t get the joke.

A problem shared is usually on Oprah.

All that glistens is not gold. Especially at a strip club.

If you can’t beat ‘em, decide on a safety word.

Boys will be boys. That’s why I’m gay.

History repeats itself, as does fast food at 3am.

If beggars can’t be choosers, why did a homeless guy throw my 50 cents back at me and call me a cheap cunt?

Home is where the heart is. Work is where you’ll find the arseholes.

  • roybarry

    roybarry

    I really think this may be my new mantra…....

  • Suzanne German

    Suzanne German

    this is so so good and funny! i thought that he who laughs last laughs best !!!
    but i like your take on it!

  • jtaft

    jtaft

    I want to print this out and pin it up on my wall! So witty and fabulous jodie

  • Soxy Fleming

    Soxy Fleming

    this probably needs a part two I think….

  • Leith O'Malley

    Leith O'Malley

    My new 10 rules to live by SS..
    You made me laugh out loud :)

  • T. Mick Donald

    T. Mick Donald

    great sarcasm, synicism and houmour wrapped into a tidy, edible litte niblet.

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