Telegram From Heaven

When God Winks At You." She had read in this book that when people are talking to a person about God,it is no coincidence .

Name Thy Self Foul Spirit

I Hear that there is this new theological theory about salvation, it’s call The Maxwell House Salvation theory.

Why Pay $ 99 To Say Good By.

So the commercial ends with the grateful little boy saying,“Go by Mr. Steamer.”

Eviction Notice

" Told my Shrink that my problems with my 8 spit personalities ruining my life was over."

Surprise Appearance by A Charter From Sesame Str…

I asked Him, "Do you work part time at Sesame Place ? " ( Sesame Street theme park)

We Don’t Work At Sea World

Do you know how a employer can tell if his new employee is a brown nosier ?

Breaking The Code.

Well woman,you can catch your man in the act of speaking in code.

Wild Flowers

They are nurtured and blessed from the helplessness of infancy to the glory of adulthood by the hand of The Creator

A Bird ’s Eye View

The daughter asks her father".Daddy,what kind of birds are those? "
The Price For Precious Life by Stephen  J. Vattimo A Boy's Lunch Feeds Five Thousand People by Stephen  J. Vattimo Fork In The Road by Stephen  J. Vattimo They Dropped Their Nets And Left Their Boat To Follow Jesus  by Stephen  J. Vattimo

Fly The Friendly Skis Or Play Russian Roulette ?

Well i have come up with a new remedy to over come my growing anxiety of travailing by commercial air lines.

Fueling Up With Green Gas

So the man who was observing this odd behavior goes over to the man park in front of him and asks him,’’ Why are you cramming t…

Mystery Of Missing Ships And Planes Solved

Well during one of my missions to defend the free world from enemies military forces. I launched one of my planes off my deck of my ship…

Dick’s Has A New Competitor.

It is owned by a activist group for woman who hate men.

Tuesday,Hump Day ?

(Mike..Mike ..Mike,Guess what day it is? ,Hump Day!)

Must There be Suffering,To Appreciate Joy?

First to understand the contrasts of experiencing good and bad things,we need to understand the source of their existence.

Cartoon Charactor Or Chippendale Dancer

Any one see the TV commercial for the new Sponge Bob Movie,"Sponge Out Of Water? "

Two bags

he asked me if I wanted my purchases doubled bagged ?

My Little Princess The Movie Star

People say there is nothing that can prepare a father for when his sweet little princess will grow up enough to start dating boys.

Dark Side Of The Moon

There is this man who is at a customer party who see this black woman who is wearing a black mask,black long sleeve turtle neck shirt, and…

Two Ways TO Heal A Nation.

The Bible also teaches that we are not to seek revenge on our enemies, but leave it to the wrath of God

Happy Meal Toys

Being surprised by this odd event,she ask her husband," Honey why did you have a toy pony in you underwear ?"

Sounds Like

So I told him it would be cool if he kept using both last names , just in case he turns into an alcoholic and gets busted for a DUI, and i…
 Pumpkin  design sketches for 2014 by Stephen  J. Vattimo

Do The Elves build toys or Nike Sneakers

I responded, " So the story of the Elve building all the toys that Sata Claus delivers to the good boys and girl every Christmas is ju…

EveryThing Is Not Better The Second Time Around

After the crowd of visitors walked away, I started a conversation with the reenactor. / In the opening conversation I share with him about…

Behind Dark Forgotten Doors And Walls.

To shed some light on the real live horror of abuse that I personally experience while attending a private boarding school for the emotiona…

Black Sheep Washed Whiter Than Snow

Instead of hanging me from a tree / They leave me in a dense dark forest / In the care of the hands of the wolves

Your Clothes Are Smoking

How did Fire Fighters determ this was the work of a Serial Arsonist?
Video Game Theme Department Goal chart by Stephen  J. Vattimo

Turn The Tables

You ever been asked a question by someone you think is trying belittle you before other other people?

It’s In The Code Of Our DNA

We can’t help but worship a god / It’s in the code of our DNA

The Interrupter

You ever get tried of hearing people who catch you talking to your self saying," Hay, talking to your self is a sign of mental illness…

Thank You ?

Well one morning after I handed a technician his equipment,He thanked me in spanish,in a joking manner He said", Grassy ASS ." …

I’m Not Living In Stealth Mode

I don’t have a college degree / But that doesn’t mean I am not wise enough to know the difference between darkness and light

Confusion In The Water Closet

Unless you are a closet Corn Farmer,

Invincible SuperHero

Don’t Gear when a SuperHero has fallen / less it becomes your Kryptonite / and you trip over your own cape.

Theistic Evolution Stinks!

A student asked the professor how did God put evolution into motion?

Vegan Craz At The Beach

Jaws the man eating shark / movie star was asked by TMZ ," Why out of a group of a hundred people in the water,did he attack and eat T…
The Three Witnesses by Stephen  J. Vattimo

Never Lost Just Redistributed

I wrote back to her," No , You didn’t loose 10 pounds."

Simple Solution

One day I was feeling so ill while I was at work,I thought I might be having a heart attack.

Good Vibrations

So I tell the surgeon I would if possible like for him not to take or leave anything in my body that is not crucial for the success of my o…

Passing Through

As he is going through the entrance to the hotel lobby, the Door Man say," Sir you need to get rid of some of that baggage your carryi…

He Has Gone Before Us

I have often meditated on these teaching about God, and could not help to try to imagine the things God through Jesus had experienced, the …

Stand Strong

Stand strong / In the dark don’t allow your knees to grow weak

Terminator Chicken

Other guy asks his friend,"when you eat steroid free meat,can you see or taste a difference in the quality of the meat? "

Bobbing For Apples

A group of prostitutes want to show the people of their city that just like any other good citizen, they cared about their community, and w…

A Standing Ovation For The Chef

A man and His wife are sitting in a five star restaurant,trying to rekindle the flames of romance.

Body Freedom Is Deemed Weird By Talk Show Host

When Kelly Ripa and her guest side kick spend 25 minutes talking about how weird people who are comfortable with going nude and socializing…

Doggy Santa

You ever come a cross one of those dog lovers that has a screw lose in their head?
Hospitality House by Stephen  J. Vattimo

Big Surprises Sometimes Come In Small Packages

," Daddy , I try to be a big boy and change my own diaper."

Glass Prism

My artistic talent are received from One source of pure light. / Passing through me like a glass prism, expressing them in diversity of…

Afternoon Delight

A deli restaurant owner goes down to the red light district and picks up a prostitute and takes her to his stock room to have sex with her …

The Gift Of Freedom

Freedom is gift purchased by the giver.

Hoodwinked By The Destroyer Of Nations

These entities become the demigod / We have place our country under it’s authority
Art-To Death Do Us Apart by Stephen  J. Vattimo Jack-O-Lantern Takes In A Halloween Tennis Match by Stephen  J. Vattimo

Halloween Tighty Whities

There is this little poor boy who wants to go trick or treating,but has no money to buy a costume .

Freed Soul

Longing to spread wrings of creativity,to earn my keep.

Coffee,Tea,Or Me

What is the difference between a secretary or a sexualtary?

No Pets Allowed

One day one foreigner turned to another and say," Hey man, you can’t live here any more."

Nap Time At The Beach

His friend replies, " You have always been comfortable with your situation. Why all of a sudden are you on this kick to loose weight?&…

A Whale Of A Corny Story

Thinking to him self how cool his guest will think he is fore having a celebrity attending his cook out.

I Must Be Six Feet Under If I Don’t Make Fu…

This short humorous story was sparked in my mind after a visit to my next door neighbor house.

“Did You Say Something ? "

All of a sudden one them break the deafening silents in the room by let loose a thunderous fart.

Guess Who Just Moved Into The Neighbor Hood ?

So to show the terrified man, he was not this dreadful monster ,every one through out the centuries has made him out to be. He invited th…

Hose At Hand

Do you remember some time around the late 8o’s or early 90’s, when it was fashionable for a man who thinks he’s cool,to h…

Now Doing Vidios On Youtube

Greeting friends, / You can now see Stephen J. Vattimo on YouTube preforming stand up versions of His Short humorous Stories YouTube.

The Value Of A Tatoo

Now Bill notice his friend Ted has a new tato of Mount Rushmore across the center of his fat stomach.

Can You Come Out And Play?

So you don’t have to play it safe . / You can buck against the hypnotic beat that is echoing through the radio and the television sta…

Three Things A Wife or Death Row Inmate Will Rece…

The all knowing married man compare the 24 hours leading up to having sex with His wife,to the procedures a Prison Guard has to lead a Inma…

Things No One Exspects To Find Out About At The B…

Jim replies, Fine ,until I got here !

How Can You fix It,If You Can’t See It̵…

What can be done to turn back these plague? Can the government deliver us? / The Government is limited in turning back these plague becaus…

What’s The Name Of That Perfume You Are Wea…

A couple of weeks ago the media resurrected Ann Nicole Smith from the dead

Blow Santa Away

In the mood of the festive season less all take out our shot guns and blow Santa away (metaphorically speaking) .
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