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The underbelly

Where gut and humanity meet

Minced meat I am the noose / About my neck / The millstone that / Won’t let me rise / I have fed / My liver / My spleen and / Finally / My heart thro… Desert storm There are / No sign posts / No hint of life / Not even a ghost. / This is / My soul / At its most / Vulnerable… Stuck Now there is / Only a tiny / Mass at the base; the / Cortex black like / Peat dully / Pulsing driving my / Breath. My / Heart and nothing … We do what we must Her kin; / Safe / For the moment, / But the gap / Between is thin / The threshold narrow / And all manner / Of terrors / Want in / Days ble… The relentless monkey The thought / Of moving / Takes my / Breath away / So I sit in / A vacuum… / I know not / Of time / But the monkey on / My back / Won’t le… Tears of suffocation It resides; / Fangs first, / In my chest / Claws clamped / About my throat / No inhalation anymore / I suffocate in my / Visceral miasma … Ash of dreams My / Broken body nothing more than / Dust fit for a pan. / With a heavy sigh / I let go Hope. It / Settles like a mist in the / Room. The w… Control She wanted to get out / The doors remained / Closed / They were not hers / To open The game of wait and see I have no space / In which to be / Stomped on until / I am so squished / Parts squirt out / Like earth worms / My entrails / Desperately tr… Lost but not forgotten Arched back / The pain etched plainly / On her face / Skin opaque / Each rib / Stark / A keen reminder / That she has / Forgotten how to / … The cry The heart is still / Even fear no longer disturbs it / Blood has become sludge / Poisoned and stagnant / Breath stuck in the chest / A bloc… In spite of myself no2 Head arched back / Mouth agape / I suck in the muck / Of my mind / That which has / Anchored me / To this mire / I choke on its toxicity / … The awakening The stench of carrion / The excruciating pain of being / Ripped apart in my chest / Woke me this morning… / Even deeper into my soul…… Peril’s own The escarpment / Like a backbone / Is knobbly and bare. / The treads / That lead / To the depth’s / Blue yonder / Are peril’s own. Peril’s mates Fight and fright are my / Enemy. / Sweaty palms and glazed / Eyes are the result. And me / Frozen; a deer caught by her / Subconscious, scr… Were it so You are my nemesis / My muse / So why is it / That I can no longer / See what is / Reflected back at me Dimensions There is a space / Between / Where I am not / But wish I was / Because / Then I could / Disappear… The deception of appearance I receive a little package / The other day / With some trepidation / I opened it up and… / Out popped Worse The album Where is it / I’ve looked / Everywhere / Inside and out / This book / My life / It’s disappeared and / The evidence… / The images / Gone… The agony of being So I pace the apartment / A caged lioness / My imaginary tail / Swishing / A low growl / In the back / Of my throat. / But What can I / Rea… Peace is someone else’s quiet My / Body is / Racked with / Torment and / Nightmares prevail. / “It would seem / Peace is someone / Else’s reality…” / Silence Scream… A walk in time not mine The fabric of / Space and time / Had met again. With me / In the middle / Curled in a ball and / Bent out of shape. A / Woman of the 21s… No man’s land She stands on her own / Precipice. To / Move forward is the / Possibility of death… But to / Go back is to / Decay… / “What to do?” is her … Twixt and twain It begins… / Once again the mind darts to that dark place called terror. / Stretched and shattered / My breath catches / In my throat… When there is no more Resignation has / Taken hold / The barb is / Through and through / I have scaled / One fence too many / And am caught… Revelation’s lack My / Inner landscape; a / Mire, So / Murky that when I / Peer… I find / Myself further / Lost. / Unrecognizable. The / Who and the / What… Where has virtue gone? Even sleep brings / No respite. It’s / Filled with / Red-eyed ghouls / Hungering for my / Hopelessness. So I / Sit in the / Mire of broke… When hope is lost Hung in the air; a message; / “Not yet bitch!” And with a gleeful / Yip and the Master’s bark they were / Gone. / Her broken body long sinc… Absent when gone Head / Thrashes back and / Forth. / Denial. This can’t be . My / Weak pathetic / Shell that / Cripples sanity and / Stifles thought. I / A… The loss of me I woke this / Morning missing / Something. / And believe me I’ve / Looked! / And all I could / Find is / Hopelessness and / Never-mind. Fires of the damned it is the / Flame of / Defeat that licks my / Heart. My / Breath is held. / No sound is / Uttered to my / Thoughts. / Ears are barred. … The games we play Nightmares unrelenting / Confirm what the / Heart secretly knows… / The day is a / Parade of / Parody. A / Flight of / Fancy. A / Comedi… The unspoken After words / I look at that and / I am left / With no more / Courage. / Fear pales into / No significance. / Wrath holds hands with / Ange… The tip is all that’s seen Drowning. An / Unrelenting dirge accompanies the / Smell of a / Funeral pyre of / Shattered hopes and / Corpses lost. There is no / End … Ignorance is not bliss Demons locked / Laugh free. Ghouls let / Loose. They / Mock and jeer… are the / Other side of me. / Where has Grace / Gone? I need her / N… Dreams passed No matter how fast / I paint / The words are / Rubbed away / An oily rag / The only evidence / Of a world that / Could have been… Do it anyway… The summit of your fears / You must climb / And overcome… / To look beyond / And not know the future / And face it anyway… The contest “Hello / Is anybody out there?” / But the knocking was inside / My skull / And / I’d left home! Absent “Mirror / Mirror on the wall / Why is it I can’t see me?” / But like before / There was no reply / For I wasn’t there / Any-more… Self-silenced She sat / Quietly sewing / Needle and thread held in / Delicate fingers / Starting at one end / Lips slightly pursed / She loving sewed / T… Unvoiced A voice consumed by / Squashed rage and / Thrust / Into a cage of civility / Shuttered / Behind doors of normalcy / Has given rise to / … Groundhog day I am free / At last! / I go to / Float away / But my freedom / Is an illusion / My umbilical cord / Anchors me Commitment to courage “Give me a break!” / Screamed self-doubt / In retort / My spirit quietly spoke; / “It is neither or all.” Sanity’s deception We acknowledge each other fleetingly / Lest we become caught by the / Web of fouled gossamer / That extrudes from us; / Blackened veins th… All things shall pass… Hypoxic / Unable to gain even / A single breath / A filament of exhaustion / Covers my eyes / Tears seep from my heart / A haze of need on…